aspie to aspie dating
It's a feeling I've never felt before. There is a connection much deeper than I've had with the neurotypical people in my life, even in my own family. It is indescribable, to be honest. I feel like my heart can sing when I am with this person- even just talking, not being affectionate. It is amazing to have someone in my life who just GETS me; he understands me, and when he doesn't, he asks and is considerate of who I am and the differences between the two of us. I don't sense that there is anything I need to prove. I can show my stims, weirdness, and anything else I can't to people who aren't on the spectrum. He doesn't look at me like a freak or weird because of doing these things, since he does them as well. In short: we accept each other, and it is probably the single greatest feeling I've ever felt to be truly accepted by someone.
I totally agree with Kinme. it's incredible. I've probably had about half and half aspie-NT and aspie-aspie relationships. Some worked better than others. But I've been having a relationship with another aspie for a while now and it really really works in a way that I wouldn't have thought possible. I think we're both each other's obsession, so we work really hard on understanding how the other works. We use the same language, so he does things or says things that would probably seem a bit lame to a NT person, but to me I know that he's practically pouring his heart out to me! Being accepted for the first time for who I really am and being able to share my oddness with another person without being judged or put down for them is a fantastic feeling & one I never want to let go of!
This a million times.
I have had relationships with both. The only man I have loved is an Aspie. But that's probably just a coincidence. I don't know.
Aspiewordsmith
Veteran
Joined: 2 Nov 2008
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 564
Location: United Kingdom, England, Berkshire, Reading
I am dating an Asperger syndrome woman and the communication between us is rather like we read each others minds and tell each other everything even family gossip. We tend to communicate better and can use our picture thinking and synaesthesia so we don't have to get bogged down with the comprehension of body language that people on the neurotypical spectrum does. Both me and my girlfriend are strong visual thinkers and this has helped with our communication and compliments and strengthens our thinking together and that includes foreseeing what she has for dinner before she orders when we go out and how much we drunk. The only miscommunication is really communication on Facebook. But that is now sorted out by using picture thinking as well I know that doesn't apply to every Asperger syndrome person because people's AS can be different type and some people may have incompatible types of Asperger syndrome which might be romantic incompatibility but with in my and my girlfriend's case then there is compatibility even though she is younger than me and that I had to be flexible in that way but we really do enjoy each other's company and I always provide her reassurance when she is anxious and I don't expect or want much eye contact because it for us is only a sign of deep affection and should not be given lightly like NTs including allistic people do that is how our relationship and trust started as well as a lot in common as she even shares my mum's birthday as well.
I feel that my girlfriend really understands me like no other woman has ever done and my new girlfriend is the first Asperger syndrome girl I went/am going out with currently and the relationship works because we have similar kinds of Asperger syndrome we can work at it better and meet the other half way like I never has with my NT exes. Also I also like to compliment her by saying she is the most beautiful woman in all of Aspergia because to me she is and I tell her that when she doesn't feel it. I also like to copy paste you tube music videos to her over Facebook which she really enjoys with the Facebook chats.
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