Is not having friends a turn off?

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I already have, but the effect is lasting.

( I stopped at this part, so sorry if someone has said it. )

I don't know if anyone has said this yet. But friends & immune systems have nothing to do with each other. If this is to do with research of how a civilisation can be destroyed by a outside civilisation invading it & brining along it's virus. That can happen to anyone.

Keeping your environment squeaky clean would more likely damage your immune system. They is tones of variables that effect someones immune system. Even people with many friends, can have a weak immune system. I have only been sick when my mother sprays me with her cold she caught at work. When I get it it normally lasts only a day & I hardly know I have it. No runny nose, just a bit off. Because I don't use any Medications.

This is just bad research & I have not even read it.

2nd, most research done on introverts is biased. All you got to do is look at 1920 when Sigmund Freud clashed with Carl Jung & Alfred Adler. Of what a extrovert does when he can't handle 2 introverts teaming up on him.

I also bet the control group was so small that it was void of any real data. Once you blow that control group up to more, the pattern changes, less data you have the less accurate it is.

3rd Just like someone can go without children they hole life. A person can be without friends, except for the partner that is a friend & companion. They is no reason why the person who needs friends, does not already have a circle of friends & I would not stop them interacting. I also probably will go out with a meal with them.

Anyone can get lonely does not equal unhealthy, until you try & fill that void & find so much biased against who you are as a person. That's the unhealthy part, like throughout all time females of all people should know what that feels like, with the image that was forced onto them for century’s.

I still find it funny, how people are so shocked about the knowledge I have with no friends, no gf. It's because I don't have someone telling me to not be daft, or don't be silly, or shutting me down from thinking deeply. That just strikes fear in most people, to face reality head on, open your eyes & see the world for what it really is. Too many turn a blind eye, too many are not in power that open they eyes, that see the problems & know it needs changing.

But like always you just want distractions from life, that to me in the end is unhealthy, you don't deal with problems & you don't negotiate for a middle ground. As an outsider sitting on the fence, been able to see, what other people can't or are unwilling to face.

Might be seen as unhealthy. But in the end someone has to, just the problem is our society is too caught up in these stupid stereotypical views. Our technology has slowed down & our community’s are falling apart. Including our infrastructure.

They can't cope with it, they having to drink alcohol & take legal highs & drugs just to keep going. Both sides were never designed to work like this.

Views of people are culture bound. So the question is, when you look at a biker that looks like he will rip your head off. Do you take the stereotypical view or do you see that he is not really what you think he is.

SUMMARY:- So even when I have not read it, I can presume it was badly done research like always with introverted research, that’s why they is so many misconceptions. Come on as a female think about all the words that have been attached to you. You were once seen as a mental illness until it was linked to your PMS.

Last edited by TechnoDog on 06 Apr 2012, 8:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Its bad form to comment on a study and not even bother to read it.
By doing so you give your own opinions about the topic a bias.

I read the study and it was well done and their research shows a connection between social circles and the immune system. However, the study does fall apart by suggesting that introverts have weaker immune system because of a lack of friends when it could be a number of things. Lack of outdoor activities, lack of sleep, poor diet, stressful life, etc...

This is a fascinating discussion. I'm glad I found it.

that was only one study, and there are many more. having friends offers health benefits to people, including a healthier immune system.

That doesn't make sense, that the innume system and being introvert having a direct link (without the social and psychological impact of friendships on the person) sounds like nonsense. If not, misleading.

I believe it all comes down to the lifestyle and psychology as a result of friendship vs friendless rather than a direct biological link. According to other studies relating to longetivity, health and friendship, the conclusion has been about the positive aspect, the psychological benefits on the life, affecting *lifestyle* of a person who has friends.

And, what that has to do with friendless being a "turn off" exactly?

It is for some people, maybe a lot.

Why should not having friends be a turn-off? If your partner doesn't like your friends, it would be a moot point.

I wouldn't have thought so, but hey, the only friend I have is my girlfriend, so hey, tell me.

I just object to other people imposing their own preferences on others about what "normal" and "healthy" is,
which is all the more odd when it comes from Autistics, who face being stigmatized and having their experiences denied at every turn.

I find it difficult to believe that those who actively dislike (or loathe) socialization and are not desirous of friends suffer much from not having them-seems mighty counter-intuitive. It would seem, however, if the thread is an indication, that they might indeed suffer from the stigma being friendless brings upon themselves when it comes to finding a romantic relationship.

Also don't agree that being a partner's only friend is somehow de facto "unhealthy". For some people it is, but that's to do with the couple and the individuals in it.

considering that social skills training and group therapy are actually accepted treatments for autistic people, i'd say that it's not just an opinion as to what is "normal" or "healthy" for people. it's backed up by research that people with autism benefit from having friends.

even though something is counterintuitive doesn't mean it is wrong. i challenge you to find any research at all that demonstrates that having friends is detrimental to people with autism or social phobias and such. i understand people not WANTING friends, but that does not mean they wouldn't benefit from having friends (especially over the long term).

i think that maybe there is an assumption that "having friends" means a giant social circle or some kind of siamese-twin BFF. it doesn't have to mean anything of the sort. it can mean having a couple of buddies to see a movie with, or a workmate to have a beer with at the end of the day, or people from church who you can have prayer meetings with.

Social skills training and group therapy can enable one to have more effective communication with people, which is a problem with people who have a non-majoritive neurology.
That hardly translates into needing friends.

I never said having friends is detrimental- I said not everyone experiences detrimental effects from NOT having them,
as can be evidenced by many such people on this forum who actively-prefer to be without social ties.

Not...really. I've yet to read a study on any unexpected physiological or psychological benefit from doing XYZ act which has bothered to include in it people who are statistical outliers. I have to read all the time about the psychological and physiological benefits of having sex, for instance and laugh to myself because of the studies referenced, not a single one examines anyone who identifies as asexual. It strikes me as similarly fallacious to claim "having friends has benefits", period, fullstop, unqualified, when the entire research project has proceeded from the assumption that everyone wants friends, and therefore failed to substantively examine introverts, and in such a way that controls for other variables that might differentiate between them and extroverts other than friends.

Right. Many people here such as myself don't have that, don't want that. While people who seek out friendships would find the scenarios you just outlined to be a very low "requirement", to those of us who don't have friends and don't want them, we're left scratching our heads thinking "That sounds awful/boring....maybe awfully boring." It doesn't matter if someone requires a mate to be hypersocial with a million buddies, or to just have one- at the end of the day, those requirements don't include everybody, on the unfounded presumption that there is something 'wrong' with such a person, by virtue of him or her having an uncommon preference.

actively preferring to be without social ties != not NEEDING friends .... preferences involve individual choices which may or may not be in a person's best interests. i actively prefer to eat cake and cookies for breakfast lunch and supper but that's not in my best interests.

having effective communication with people is not the only goal of social skills training. one goal is to help us to make friends.

there are many studies that have been done specifically with autistic people regarding socialisation and friendship. they are the outliers you speak of. you could also look at studies that researched people with social anxiety or social phobia. they are also outliers.

when you say that the "requirements don't include everybody", you are drawing a conclusion that is wholly unsupported by any research (on NTs or people with AS or other disorders). you have yet to demonstrate even one hint of a study that shows that some people do not need friends.

What's being claimed, though, is that eating Wheaties for breakfast is good for you, period, without mentioning there is a portion of the population with severe Wheat allergies who would become severely-ill from doing so.

That's great...for people who want them. Otherwise, it's like a knitting class.


From what I've read, Autistics don't differ significantly in terms of willingness to socialize, particularly HFA's- they're just inept at AS-NT communication.

Research is needed before we can agree that some people totally lack friends?

Because the affirmative CLAIM is not mine-
the CLAIM is that all people do,
and I've yet to see a study which examines introverts, and accounts for differences between them and their extrovert peers which are not causative in nature.

The burden of proof isn't on the skeptic.

you're asserting that some people do not need friends, and frankly... that's not supported in the research. there are many, many studies with autistic people and people with social anxiety.

also, being introverted doesn't equal "not having friends".