Is dating awkward to anyone else on here?

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I don't know why but I always feel super awkward when going on a date with someone. It is especially when the place that we end up agreeing on is a huge social scene like a bar, club, restaurant, etc. I feel so strange like an alien. This is the main reason. I see it for what it is: Trying your best to have a decent convincing conversation with a stranger while other strangers occasionally listen and watch. The whole thing is just awkward to me. What sucks is that when I sometimes mention to my potential date about hanging out in a less social place...they automatically think I am trying to get into their pants. I understand this fully, but even when I explain all this to them...a small percentage believe me and the few that do just think I am weird anyway for being awkward in social settings for dates. Can anyone please relate and any suggestions?

Park?

Dating's awkward to everyone.

But especially for Aspies.

There seems to be a theme here.

Is it not possible to meet these women in a different environment setting if it's not working in these areas you tend to look for potential dates?
(Yes, it looks like I bumped but I did ask a question.)

Bookshop café, park, art gallery, museum, or do some research into what bars and restaurants are quiet in your area or have booths

I do find dating very awkward esp. if I haven't got much going for me at the time besides a positive outlook on life lol

Why not volunteer for St John's Ambulance or something like that and get to know people over time rather than randomly approaching women.

I understand this isn't always a viable option, but in my experience getting to know someone a little as a friend before dating them can help you feel a little more comfortable around them. Also, if both of you seem to be feeling a little awkward or tense, it might not hurt to just make a joke about it, to break the ice a little.

A positive outlook on life is huge, especially if you can maintain it when things are going badly.

Yeah I end up really enjoying myself with guys I'm dating.....but then it all goes to hell when the sex starts, since I don't really enjoy it so then I end up trying to fake that I do and I am sure they pick up on it so yeah things get quite akward.

Mixed signals and all kinds of weirdness, I'd guess.

Last edited by ZX_SpectrumDisorder on 12 May 2012, 5:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

First dates were always awkward for me, but it got better on the second date. I imagine they are awkward for a lot of people.

Yeah bookstores have always been a comfortable place for me. If the date is awkward, at least I can curl up with a few good books to forget about what happened. Art galleries and museums are great too because I'm into art and they are usually free. I have dated a lot and had gf's, so I'm not totally hopeless...it is just that I am currently broke...so dating needs to be a little more creative. I like the bookstore cafe, park and possible volunteering ideas too. Maybe the Orange County Humane Foundation. I also want to do volunteer work to get out of the house more, since finding a job is becoming near impossible here in Orange County, CA.

Just admit to feeling it. Guarantee they're feeling awkward, if it's a first or second date, and they won't think less of you for feeling it too. Not having to pretend you're 100% comfortable can ease the stress quite a bit.

And, rather than focus on making a good impression, focus on getting to know this new person. For me, learning all about someone is fascinating and having that as my motivation, instead of worrying about making myself look good, also helps with the stress.

Plus, if you're trying to make yourself look good, most people can tell that's what you're doing. But if most of what you do is ask questions, and it's obvious you are genuinely interested, you'll usually make a good impression without even trying.

None of this will eliminate the awkwardness entirely, but it can reduce it to the point where your enjoyment level is higher than your stress level.

I'd rather not date at all. As a teen, nobody I knew really dated; they just got together. Even now that's the way things seem to be, around here at least. Having the same flawed structure as a job interview is doomed for failure from the start.