Please tell me if this is creepy?

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I've been exchanging some messages with someone on a dating site who at first seemed like a good guy. We have a lot in common and the discussion was fairly deep. Then late last night when he was drunk he sent me an extraordinarily long message, most of which was fine/normal, but toward the end was this paragraph that freaks me out a little (bolding the parts that set off the air raid sirens):

...



Am I wrong to think this sounds really... scary and not nice? Am I being oversensitive, and taking too seriously what was just some drunken hyperbole? I told him before that I thought it was cool that he'd come from a rough background to put himself through law school, but I didn't think he meant he was "sadistic" and regularly tempted to murder people because they're "spoiled brats"! I'm also thinking of this in conjunction with the fact that he's said he's an avid gun owner. Normally the gun thing wouldn't really bother me if it's for self-defense or sporting, as long as they kept it locked up, but in combination with the above it makes me feel unsafe and something is just telling me not to meet this guy and not to give him my personal details.

The other thing is that he was being really aggressive last night. After that paragraph, he was asking me out for dinner and a "night of drinking." I happened to come online just as he sent the message, because I couldn't sleep, and he immediately started chatting with me using the site's chat, and he was asking me to text him. When I told him I was only up briefly and needed to get back to bed, he offered to come over and cuddle me to sleep I tried to make it sound like I was laughing that off, but he kept persisting and asking "so do you want my professional cuddlemonster services or not?" Eventually I just told him he was drunk and said good night, and he responded "sweet dreams little Tegan." Seriously? "Little?" I'm a grown woman, thank you very much, and if it was intended as a term of endearment, I'd need to know someone a LOT better before they could get away with that!

So right now I'm a little ticked off and also a little confused because I thought I might want to meet this guy and was planning to ask him if he didn't-- but now that he has, I'm thinking, better not.

What do you guys think? Was he showing his true colors and should I get out while it's easy? Or was he maybe just joking around and I'm reading WAY too much into it (entirely plausible)?

Looks like he's either in a psychosis or on a lot of drugs. Possibly both. The entire message looks like it was copied directly from some conspiracy website about Bohemian Grove. Let's see if I can reproduce something like that in a similar style with just creative writing and a mind just out of bed.

You should probably get out of this situation. That rant is a valuable insight into his mind either way. If it's his actual personality, he's a madman. If it's the result of him being high or drunk, he'd probably be in a very similar state if he was high or drunk while in your physical vicinity.

Yikes, lady!

It is not often that you get a chance to see someone's "true colors" so to speak so early on. Now you have the chance to run, run, run away!

Someone who thinks that they personally are fit to judge another human, to the extent that they would take a life, is comfortable playing god. Do you want someone in your life who (eventually, after he gets tired of playing god with "others" who he deems "Deserve" it) will take a god role towards you? Because eventually, whatever pedestal he puts you on, will take a fall, and he will turn his judgement and annoyance at being disappointed by you (I say this not to say that you would disappoint, but that you are human and at some point your needs would override your ability/energy to please his "high standards").

I speak from experience, I married someone who thought he was the be all, end all, and thought his poop didn't smell bad, and eventually he ran out of "others" to blame and it was my turn to be the focus of his scrutiny. Not fun times.

My two cents! Let us know what you decide.

Yes, that is creepy. If this is what he is like when he is trying to make a good impression imagine what he would be like if he wasn't trying at all. My advice would be to do anything you can to extricate yourself from this situation, stop messaging him and, if you can, prevent him from messaging you. This man is very angry, he probably needs professional help not a girlfriend.

He's more creepy than a

I gotta say, after receiving a message like that I would run right the f**k away.

LOL! So you don't think I should let him cuddle me to sleep then??

You all make good points. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in thinking this was kind of scary. I think I'll take your advice and just stay away from this one. Thanks for helping me out, everyone.

I think his drunk or medically induced stupor he was trying to impress you by being what he thought was smart and made him sound like an Internet Tough Guy.

Even if that were true, he obviously thought it was okay to think and say those things (subconsciously) to a woman with a child and there's no guarantee this stuff is all talk. In your proximity or someone else's he could be a very dangerous, psychotic individual. I'd just tell him you don't think you're really going to be compatible, then block him straight after so he doesn't get a word in.

And if I were you I wouldn't tell him what he did wrong (even if you feel it is the nice thing to do). You might be asking "why?" and my reason is if you tell him about his behaviour or comment on what he said to you, he might not learn from it but instead choose to hide his thoughts from another woman and put them in danger should they meet. It's better that they, like you, see his true colours BEFORE they meet him to risk any danger.

Thanks people, now I got the Cindi Lauper song stuck in my head...
*sarcasm*

I see your True Colors...

Last edited by PastFixations on 14 Jul 2012, 8:38 am, edited 2 times in total.

Thank you... I agree about letting him continue to make the same mistakes so that others will see through him, so I've done as you suggested.

Was he a first responder in Detroit or something?

Some people can't handle that.

I would be freaked out by this.

No, he just grew up there.

Thanks, PastFixations, now I have that song stuck in my head, only it's the Phil Collins version.

Run, definitely run.

From this I'd say he's looking for someone he can abuse/dominate to make his low self esteem feel better.

He tries to come across as a 'bad boy' and several sentences show that he has an inclination to physical threats/violence but would only carry it out against those weaker than himself, but more likely would use psychological methods to control/torture those in his power (spouse, kids etc).

Next he'll tell you that he's changed /your the one to change him (like he told the other girls), abuse you till you leave, get you back by saying he'll change etc.

He has severe issues with perceived discrimination socioeconomic, class based (although probably not racial, even though he would like to have that).