How to deal with unwanted attention?

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Stalk
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14 Oct 2012, 3:22 pm

Wear a shirt that says in big letters: LESBIAN

hopefully that will stop the men



Kjas
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14 Oct 2012, 3:30 pm

Vigilans wrote:
meems love, I'm sorry to say you came to the wrong place for advice if you are a woman :lol: nothing useful can be learned from L&D


Edited for clarity. ;)

On the more serious note:

Pepper spray if possible and allowed there is a good idea.

Self defense lessons might also be a good idea, not simply for the practical side of it, but it may be one of the things that help you feel that you can protect yourself again, and hopefully help you recover a little bit faster. When you view everything as a threat (even temporarily), it help to be able to know that you can proctect yourself if necessary. It should also help your self confidence, which is going to need a bit of help right now.


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Last edited by Kjas on 14 Oct 2012, 3:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

JanuaryMan
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14 Oct 2012, 3:32 pm

Stalk wrote:
Wear a shirt that says in big letters: LESBIAN

hopefully that will stop the men


Expect a guy to walk over wearing a t-shirt that says THREESOME? :lol:



ValentineWiggin
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14 Oct 2012, 3:38 pm

That makes no rational sense, but I can see how it would happen, strangely. ^


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JanuaryMan
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14 Oct 2012, 3:42 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
That makes no rational sense, but I can see how it would happen, strangely. ^


I have a lesbian friend and a bisexual one, and even the lesbian friend gets asked about this. I am not sure why, either.



ValentineWiggin
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14 Oct 2012, 3:45 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
That makes no rational sense, but I can see how it would happen, strangely. ^


I have a lesbian friend and a bisexual one, and even the lesbian friend gets asked about this. I am not sure why, either.


Because "lesbian" in pop-culture has been subverted by porn and the hookup/bar scene from a woman who is attracted to other women and not men into a stereotypically-attractive female who performs sex acts with other women for heterosexual male entertainment, and sometimes even referred to that plus the introduction of a male into the mix.

The same goes for bisexual women I think, even more so- the constant implication is that because they're attracted to both men and women that they engage in relationships with ONE OF EACH, and SIMULTANEOUSLY.


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meems
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14 Oct 2012, 4:12 pm

I'm already thankful it's not obvious I'm queer. My ex and I occasionally encountered a man or more than one man offering(I took it more as a threat) to do repulsive things to/with us. And we barely even held hands. in public because North Texas is like a queer bashing capital, where the cops are on the queer bashing side.

If I'm ever in the mood for unlimited sexual harassment I will totally get a "LESBIAN" shirt


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Magnus_Rex
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14 Oct 2012, 4:42 pm

Try giving them a murderous stare. I do it (mostly) unintentionally and it works. Strangers usually avoid me (unless I am using my other default expression: the retarded half-smile. You can see it on my avatar pic).

Actually, since you are a woman, I am not sure if it would work. But it cannot hurt to try.


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Stalk
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14 Oct 2012, 5:18 pm

Fake set of teeth that looks horrendous



meems
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14 Oct 2012, 6:26 pm

When someone invades my personal space from now on I might just try screaming "DON'T TOUCH ME YOU CREEP!" at the top of my lungs, as it would probably frequently cause shame/humiliation etc.

I just worry if I react that way I might wind up with someone following me until he can get me alone as that's scarier than most anything to me right now.

I'm just f*cking sick of being polite to men who are anything but... and I don't think I should have to wear a faux wedding ring. I don't wear rings in the first place but I wore one of the rings that was my Bubby's and I'm not really comfortable wearing those.

It's ridiculous that this is a problem and it's ridiculous that I've never made a big deal about it.

I do carry pepper spray. I don't pull it out unless I'm completely alone and it's necessary.


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ValentineWiggin
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14 Oct 2012, 6:34 pm

My best advice is to always trust one's instincts about what to do in such situations.
Given, Aspies sometimes have difficulty assessing people, but the potential consequences for acting too conservatively are far greater than not making a fuss.

I chose to ignore my better instincts last year, and it nearly ended very badly for me.


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They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
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meems
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14 Oct 2012, 9:21 pm

I used to trust my instincts and it usually worked out. Recently I become almost physically ill when any unfamiliar male approaches me. It makes my skin crawl.


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14 Oct 2012, 10:19 pm

You tell them to %^&* off . Really they say where blind :roll:


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Stalk
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16 Oct 2012, 2:17 pm

I guess it comes down to your city, my city is pretty tolerant and you won't see this kind of behaviour around here. Maybe time to move to a more tolerant city? :(

Hope you get peace some day.



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16 Oct 2012, 5:22 pm

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NUKEM!! Get them before they get you!!