How to deal with unwanted attention?

Post Reply New Topic

Solution: earbuds.

The responses here are sad and pathetic. Both sides. And people wonder why i have no faith in humanity. Its all justifying their actions, not actually thinking about them.

Heat, well, it happens to dogs and cats so why not us ASPIE's. I mean our bodies might be physiologically different than an NT's body. In my case I get it intermittantly throughout the year with an increased attractiveness when in pain and during the Autumn. My suggestion is bathe so that whatever scent you may be giving off is might be washed off. How you dress really has nothing to do with this issue, at least that is what I have found. Guys will at this time hit on me whether I am dressed like a fashion model from Ted Baker's or in clothes' I got at the Veteran's Stand-Down. It really does not seem to matter to them. I suspect maybe this scent is a primal ancient mating scent that the NT's ancestors' might have had and still attracts them. it is a minor annoyance. Find a police/security officer to help if things get out of hand or scream. Screaming and making a scene does wonders--you'll see.

As much as I understand how distressing this is for you, I'm glad you also understand that by causing victims, you're also endangering every other female in your area.

It's very simple.
You take a low-confidence guy with a history of painful/malicious rejections, who genuinely wants to be accepted and approaches - wham! another shotgun blast to the face - becomes a misogynist and decides to take the risk out of dating permanently.

Ironic.

I had the shotgun approach repeatedly at school and I haven't even been able to approach another female for the next TEN years. And now I'm reading that's supposedly acceptable behavior?

You what, I'll just start calling every girl, or woman, fat and other weight insults, irrelevant of any situation and see how they feel, because I'll bet that at least one of them becomes anorexic because of those words.

You shoot down all guys - irreverent of any situation or approach or whatever - you are personally responsible for whatever happens next.

No you don't. Seriously, me and one other person are the only ones that are actually paying attention to the OP's recent experiences. They are relevant here. I don't wanna say more because it's nobody's place to make it a topic of conversation in the open.



They've smartened up enough to know that some women dress in baggy clothes to intentionally look unattractive. So they see a girl dressed in baggy clothes and think "hot girl trying to disguise the fact she's hot". They see it as a challenge, not as a deterrent.

Oh pur-lease, like she's the only one to ever been distressed. Showing a bit of sympathy is not a crime. My points still stand.

So you know what happened to the OP roughly 7-8 weeks ago?

Just say what the f*ck you looking at?! With an angry rage ful look in your eyes!!

Other people have suffered equal or worse distress than this "situation" that hasn't been clarified. Could be just a random person saying hello at this rate.

I'm totally responsible for the guy who raped me, and I'll be responsible if it happens again with some guy on the bus going psycho. After all, how dare I refuse blatant requests for the use of my body to a complete stranger?

Because no man is responsible for his own choices.

And of course you understand, since you're a woman who has been a victim of rape.

*queer power!*

It was worse than that, a lot worse. I'm starting to get the idea that even if I told you explicitly you'd probably still dismiss it, or even worse use it to try and prove your point once more.

What I see of the OP is that she has a special circumstance here where she is not only dealing with unwanted attention, but also dealing with it in combination with the post-trauma of her recent sexual assault (yes, for realz full-blown f*****g rape! explicit enough?). Why are me and Kjas the only people seeing this for what it is? This wasn't intended to be a thread about celebrating knocking guys egos, but everyone else in the thread (guys and girls) chimed in and posted as if it was. This was meant to be a thread about dealing with unwanted attention in the context of lingering sexual trauma.

Unwanted attention might have only slightly bothered her before, and she probably has never done any of the things you implied she did in her life. But after something like "that" I believe her current approach towards lecherous and unwanted attention has every reason to be understood. If I was in her shoes I too for a long while would feel deeply upset at the prospect of being thought of as a sexual being in the least, and I too would become frightened and paranoid of every man that approaches me with an admiring eye (perhaps I would react with hostility too, I dunno).

Granted not everyone knows the OP and what happened to her so they have reason to miss the true context, but then there were people in this thread who know full well what happened and willfully ignored it.

Sorry meems.

f**k

This.

My girlfriend had to strong-arm some dude who kept grinding on me at a show we went to in Dallas.

I was pretty impressed that she's so strong.

Now he'll become a rapist and it'll be our fault. But at least he didn't touch me again.

Thank you for speaking up for me. I feel like I'm finding my voice again but in my life it's been really important to me when people have spoken up for me. I do appreciate it.