How to deal with unwanted attention?

Post Reply New Topic

You cannot POSSIBLY actually believe this! Are you screwing with me? You legitimately think someone doesn't have a right to be pretty AND not get harassed? In 2012??

I honestly don't understand facial expressions for the most part. In that picture I was leaning over petting my friend's dog and I was surprised that my photo was being taken.

I don't make eye contact if I can help it. Now I've just been wearing workout clothes, hoodies and track pants with trainers.

Wearing headphones/earbuds and reading has kept people from talking to me on the bus etc.

What is a 'right' if other people aren't prepared to respect that 'right'?

In life there's how people should act and how they do act - the two rarely coincide - I don't know if you've noticed?

So a person can have all the rights they like but if people aren't respecting them what good are they?

What do you suggest she does? Calls the police?

Harassment will occur whether it's legal or not - most people don't want the hassle of enforcing the law in each and every circumstance where a person oversteps the mark and that's even if the law would take their complaint seriously anyway - try reporting the harasser and see if it works by all means!

You seem to think I condone the harassment - I don't - I am just treating it in a more practical manner

Although I've been called a dyke lately so it seems no matter what I do I will receive unwanted comments.

Ok well I advise not makign eye contact with men in the vicinity and just reading your book

If they approach say please leave me alone

if they don't leave you alone move to a seat nearer others, tell the proprietor of the cafe (or bus driver etc) you are being harassed or leave the location of the harassment as soon as possible - that would be my advice

Try and spend more time with other people as there's safety in numbers

Join the club - it's the fate of all women and men unfortunately - it's called life

Sorry to be harsh but it's true

I think it's still important to bring attention to the subject and spread awareness, else how will it ever change?

I totally agree

I've come across websites on this very subject eg the Hollaback campaign:-

http://www.ihollaback.org/share/

Er, because you're the only two that see the whole picture, not the half that was presented at the OP?



Then put it in the Women's Discussion FFS!



Bolded part is exactly correct, the other well... are you saying I've read the entire thread and then ignored it?
Wrong.
I haven't read the whole thread, nor want to from what I saw first page. But, alas, I await for your apology. Accusing me of deliberately ignoring that which I have not read, is libel.



Say what? The more you slam a person down the harder they will hit back...you take someone low on confidence and take that last bit away, what's going to happen? A reaction. A bit of tact and everyone's fine, you rip his heart out, expect a fist in return.


For what? I didn't have the full picture, I typed in reply to what I saw. I'm being honest, reasonable and fairly restrained, in all fairness to what I read in the initial OP. Being a jerk for having an opinion, that's a new one.

Advocating violence in your most recent post, and accusing me of being responsible for men harassing women if I reject every man who shows interest.

That's why you're a jerk.

What am I supposed to do, pretend I'm interested? I'm not even heterosexual.

Er, where? I think you've mistaken metaphors for actual violence.



No, show a bit of tact you'll soon find that innocent, normal people will understand what you've said and respect you for the way you said it.

Off for tea, now. Back in a bit.

Innocent and normal people don't harass in the first place. I wasn't talking about people who respect my wishes and my personal space.

I'm not having this problem anymore really, once in the last two weeks and my girlfriend pulled him away from me the third time he got up against me and tried to dance with me. He had been warned by me twice to stop touching me, the third time she pulled him back and asked if he wanted a girl to beat him up in public and he left us alone.

I think it's sad that it happened but he really wasn't innocent in anyway. And it's just not OK to grind on someone who clearly doesn't want to be touched.

No it's not ok but you can't make all the bad things in life go away just because they're bad

It sounds like your gf was able to deal with him

Weren't there bouncers in the place?

Actually, you weren't. You were talking about to which, I've said show a bit of tact and most normal, innocent guys will understand.


That's actually quite fair.


He was wearing prison scrubs? Or perhaps a bit tipsy?


Don't know about you, but I find communication and facial awareness in a dark strobe-lighting loud nightclub not the best.

It was an outside concert and he very clearly heard me and responded that he would stop both times. There wasn't any security.

He didn't have to be a convict to be guilty of violating my space.

I AM uncomfortable with men hitting on me, but I never become aggressive unless someone violates my space or says something threatening. Where did I say I was reacting aggressively to innocent and normal men? I may want to, but I'm generally very polite about rejecting advances... but again, this hasn't really continued to be a problem.

I described the behavior which you have apparently failed to read from the same paragraph you quoted from