Women who throw themselves at men on dating sites
Ok... not sure this is going to come out the way I intend it, but here goes...
Is it just me or do other guys get turned off when a women practically throws herself at you?
I know that seems counter-intuitive since most of us on here are pretty desperate ourselves, but hear me out on this.
This has happened to me several times already and it usually goes something like this...
1. I get an email that just says "Hi".
2. I think "ok cool... some chick has looked at my profile and is interested"
3. I look at her profile and even though I am not all that interested I decide to go ahead and give it a chance because we do have a couple of things in common and I think it would be kinda rude not to reply to her.
4. I send her an email and ask her a question related to something in her profile (just to get the conversation started)
5. She answers back and the next thing I know she is sending me her email, cell #, facebook, and twitter and we haven't even gotten past "what kind of movies do you like?"
I don't know... maybe I am just being too uptight, but it makes me feel suffocated.
Also as a guy I want to do at least some of the pursuing. Am I just being crazy?
_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")
I don't know if I would consider that throwing yourself at someone. it is a dating site after all. hell the facebook/twitter thing might actually be useful in checking her out.
Honestly at least from my point of view I don't mind a woman showing some initiative since most of the time I get no feedback at all
and wonder what it is that made them totally blow me off.
yah dude i get messages that are 2 paragraphs long telling me how great i am and girls who get pissy when i dont respond and it really turns me off. Ialso get turned off if they reply right away also
_________________
AQ 25
Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
_________________
AQ 25
Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
I think you may be right
Usually they seem like a nice person, but there is no attraction there.
I mean looks aren't everything for sure and I think I could learn to love just about anyone given enough time, but if there is no attraction at all then it is difficult to get things going.
_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")
I am assuming you are in the USA. Are you meeting these girls face to face? Are you guys becoming intimate? I see "throwing themselves" involving direct real physical contact. Or is it some kind of Facebook drama game?
Unless you are actually meeting real people it is just an online conversation with who knows, I mean it could be some guy in Nigeria for all we know.
Being overly interested or more accurately interested for no reason means an ulterior motive is the sole reason for interest. They want something from you like money, have immigration problems etc. If you become involved with someone with overriding ulterior motives, once these motives get fulfilled, your relashenship has a potential to suddenly change.
You don't even need a dating site (I've never used one,) but they do pretty much the same thing on social networking sites.
And yes, it's an extreme turn--off because I don't like the needy--greedy type who acts up like a b***h in heat.
Meanwhile I define myself as asexual (on social networking sites) and set filters in order to avoid being harassed.
I think that if one person is needy, no matter whether male or female, it's just that neediness that's driving others off because the needy person is going to check you out exclusively in terms of their own neediness as if you were an object, only meant to meet their needs.
Very much like they were going to buy, say, a car. It's all about their needs and their wants and how they can get you. They don't even bother to really get to know you. They are not interested in the person you are but all they do is evaluating to what extent you would satisfy their claims.
I told the last one who treated me in this manner that I'm not her dildo, not an object she can use for her own selfish pleasure. It worked.
You can still tell her: "sorry, I'm not interested."
I've never been on a dating site, but when I was about 17, there was a girl in high school who kind of threw herself at me in public. That is, she often yelled "Vectorspace, I love you" across the classroom. She might have been bullying me, but in this case, I don't think so. I was scared anyway, and though it might seem strange, I had no real interest in girls at the age of 17 (neither in guys).
If it happened today, she would have to go through hours of discussion on one of my interests before I would agree on a date. ![]()
yes... all of the above
Again I want to emphasize that I'm not as shallow as this thread might make me seem, but as a guy I need to feel at least a little attracted to her
And overweight doesn't really bother me that much... I have seen many overweight women who were attractive, but there is a difference between overweight and obese
_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")
yes... all of the above
Again I want to emphasize that I'm not as shallow as this thread might make me seem, but as a guy I need to feel at least a little attracted to her
And overweight doesn't really bother me that much... I have seen many overweight women who were attractive, but there is a difference between overweight and obese
You're not that much of a looker to be honest.
Anyway, it makes sense that the women who are less fortunate in the looks department to be more forward/aggressive in seeking males. There seem to be a strong correlation between a woman's attractiveness and her forwardness (Ahhh a taboo subject, I am gonna be killed for that).
In gym, I know 3 totally obese girls who literally touch guys there, one of them literally poked my buddy's butt in a very sexual way - also in my workplace, the one obese girl is also the most forward of all . I've never saw a slim girl who's equally forward.
When I do the "Online Now" search on okcupid, I've always noticed, and it's amazing how it's often the case, that obese or the seriously hideous women are the only ones who put their chat option 'On' - most other women always put their chat option "off".
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