Women who throw themselves at men on dating sites
28 Nov 2012, 11:33 am
nessa238 wrote:
I rarely click with high fliers/high earners as I'm not ambitious or go-getting enough for them and they are too mentally wearing and empty-headed for me. They are too focused on displaying their success to everyone by buying all the right stuff etc - it's a hollow lifestyle imo.
I totally agree... I had even thought about putting something like this in my profile, but thought it might appear too negative
_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")
28 Nov 2012, 11:48 am
steviewonderau wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
In my opinion aspie males are more likely to have success with older women or single mothers as these women are going to be more tolerant of their difficulties and more maternal towards them.
But if the aspie males remain fixated on getting a girlfriend just like their NT peers they are going to have a much harder time. People should be looking to get their emotional and physical needs met more than having some kind of fantasy woman which is highly unrealistic.
But if the aspie males remain fixated on getting a girlfriend just like their NT peers they are going to have a much harder time. People should be looking to get their emotional and physical needs met more than having some kind of fantasy woman which is highly unrealistic.
An older lady or a single mother may indeed be more maternal and understanding. However I believe they would prefer someone who can look after them and be an equal to them emotionally, spiritually and intellectually.
@steviewonderau - I agree, plus many of them are looking for a baby daddy (not that it's a bad thing, just saying they aren't necessarily looking for another "child" to take care of)
@nessa238 - While I agree that many of us guys do have unrealistic expectations, remember that men are wired for visual stimulation so at least we come by our fault honestly... lol
_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")
28 Nov 2012, 11:52 am
sbarne3 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
I rarely click with high fliers/high earners as I'm not ambitious or go-getting enough for them and they are too mentally wearing and empty-headed for me. They are too focused on displaying their success to everyone by buying all the right stuff etc - it's a hollow lifestyle imo.
I totally agree... I had even thought about putting something like this in my profile, but thought it might appear too negative
You can't win on profiles - they need to be as positive and upbeat as possible, with some witty humour thrown in for good measure but if you aren't usually an 'up' person this will mean you are presenting a fake persona that you won't be able to maintain easily. So I let people know how
low key I am and as a result get little interest after the initial people just after sex. Most people on dating sites and in life generally want status, gadgets, drinking and foreign holidays and as a result I've nothing in common with them. Most say the want to 'have a good laugh' - words that send a shudder down my spine as it indicates a character that is the very opposite of sensitive.
Last edited by nessa238 on 28 Nov 2012, 11:57 am, edited 2 times in total.
28 Nov 2012, 11:54 am
sbarne3 wrote:
steviewonderau wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
In my opinion aspie males are more likely to have success with older women or single mothers as these women are going to be more tolerant of their difficulties and more maternal towards them.
But if the aspie males remain fixated on getting a girlfriend just like their NT peers they are going to have a much harder time. People should be looking to get their emotional and physical needs met more than having some kind of fantasy woman which is highly unrealistic.
But if the aspie males remain fixated on getting a girlfriend just like their NT peers they are going to have a much harder time. People should be looking to get their emotional and physical needs met more than having some kind of fantasy woman which is highly unrealistic.
An older lady or a single mother may indeed be more maternal and understanding. However I believe they would prefer someone who can look after them and be an equal to them emotionally, spiritually and intellectually.
@steviewonderau - I agree, plus many of them are looking for a baby daddy (not that it's a bad thing, just saying they aren't necessarily looking for another "child" to take care of)
@nessa238 - While I agree that many of us guys do have unrealistic expectations, remember that men are wired for visual stimulation so at least we come by our fault honestly... lol
I know
We all have an ideal that we really like but in real life we tone down our expectations in order to get what we need
I'm lucky as I'm quite flexible as regards a person's looks if their brain impresses me enough
28 Nov 2012, 11:55 am
nessa238 wrote:
sbarne3 wrote:
I totally agree... I had even thought about putting something like this in my profile, but thought it might appear too negative
You can't win on profiles - they need to be as positive and upbeat as possible, with some witty humour thrown in for good measure but if you aren't usually an 'up' person this will mean you are presenting a fake persona that you won't be able to maintain easily. So I let people know how
low key I am and as a result get little interest after the initial people just after sex. Most people on dating sites and life want status, gadgets, drinking and foreign holidays and as a result I've nothing in common with them.
Yep and there is nothing that I hate more than having to pretend to be someone I'm not.
So what do you think the answer is?
_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")
28 Nov 2012, 12:02 pm
sbarne3 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
sbarne3 wrote:
I totally agree... I had even thought about putting something like this in my profile, but thought it might appear too negative
You can't win on profiles - they need to be as positive and upbeat as possible, with some witty humour thrown in for good measure but if you aren't usually an 'up' person this will mean you are presenting a fake persona that you won't be able to maintain easily. So I let people know how
low key I am and as a result get little interest after the initial people just after sex. Most people on dating sites and life want status, gadgets, drinking and foreign holidays and as a result I've nothing in common with them.
Yep and there is nothing that I hate more than having to pretend to be someone I'm not.
So what do you think the answer is?
Well I met the male friend (ex partner) who lives with me off an aspie discussion forum when he wanted to escape from his living circumstances in an unhappy relationship so you can do a lot worse than getting to know other aspies on forums as the more a part of a person's daily life you can become the more likely things might go further as they will come to see you as a friend/source of emotional support.
Some people state they have Aspergers on their dating profile - I've seen people do that.
It's useful to try and get a person you are in contact with to chat on MSN as you will have more chance to work out if your personalities gel with talking in real time and also if you enjoy talking to them.
You could also ask other aspies in your area on here if they can recommend any local aspie support/social groups
28 Nov 2012, 12:22 pm
nessa238 wrote:
sbarne3 wrote:
Yep and there is nothing that I hate more than having to pretend to be someone I'm not.
So what do you think the answer is?
So what do you think the answer is?
Well I met the male friend (ex partner) who lives with me off an aspie discussion forum when he wanted to escape from his living circumstances in an unhappy relationship so you can do a lot worse than getting to know other aspies on forums as the more a part of a person's daily life you can become the more likely things might go further as they will come to see you as a friend/source of emotional support.
Some people state they have Aspergers on their dating profile - I've seen people do that.
It's useful to try and get a person you are in contact with to chat on MSN as you will have more chance to work out if your personalities gel with talking in real time and also if you enjoy talking to them.
You could also ask other aspies in your area on here if they can recommend any local aspie support/social groups
So your ex partner lives with you?
Was he someone that lived in your area or was it a long distance thing?
I would think that being long distance would only complicate things further.
_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")
28 Nov 2012, 12:31 pm
sbarne3 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
sbarne3 wrote:
Yep and there is nothing that I hate more than having to pretend to be someone I'm not.
So what do you think the answer is?
So what do you think the answer is?
Well I met the male friend (ex partner) who lives with me off an aspie discussion forum when he wanted to escape from his living circumstances in an unhappy relationship so you can do a lot worse than getting to know other aspies on forums as the more a part of a person's daily life you can become the more likely things might go further as they will come to see you as a friend/source of emotional support.
Some people state they have Aspergers on their dating profile - I've seen people do that.
It's useful to try and get a person you are in contact with to chat on MSN as you will have more chance to work out if your personalities gel with talking in real time and also if you enjoy talking to them.
You could also ask other aspies in your area on here if they can recommend any local aspie support/social groups
So your ex partner lives with you?
Was he someone that lived in your area or was it a long distance thing?
I would think that being long distance would only complicate things further.
He was living a long distance from me so the first time we met was when he turned up at my house with his stuff as he'd left his wife. So the day we met was day he moved in.
We had a relationship at the start but after about a year became just friends and we get on better that way. We still live together and I see someone else.
28 Nov 2012, 12:34 pm
MXH wrote:
TrainofLove wrote:
AspieRogue wrote:
Well why would I give someone a chance when I don't find them the slightest bit attractive?
because attraction builds
Sometimes it does, but sometimes it does not.
The reason I posted the smartassed response to TrainOfLove is that the rest of don't really care about his preferences nor do we care to care to observe him stroking his ego.
28 Nov 2012, 3:45 pm
steviewonderau wrote:
a male may have to ask 10 women out and be lucky if he gets with one of them. a female may be asked out by 10 guys and she gets to choose the one guy she gets with, an easy female would sleep with all 10 guys. in both situations the females have the power to choose, the males are powerless.
there is no power at all for a female if the male she desires is not one of the ten who asks her out. it's not as though females get to select which men will be attracted to her. i think you're maybe missing that point.
aspie females often give out mixed signals or "incorrect" signals, which exacerbates the issue. so all 10 men could be ones that she has no interest in whatsoever.
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28 Nov 2012, 3:47 pm
wtfid2 wrote:
steviewonderau wrote:
a male may have to ask 10 women out and be lucky if he gets with one of them. a female may be asked out by 10 guys and she gets to choose the one guy she gets with, an easy female would sleep with all 10 guys. in both situations the females have the power to choose, the males are powerless.
An Aspie male would have to ask out 100 females in order to be lucky enough to get with one. Due to our lack of social skills and inability to read between the lines Aspie males have the least success when it comes to dating.
on the other hand males are interested in who they ask out most of the time. If a woman gets asked out by 10 uggo-s she really isnt choosing anyone she is in the saem boat as us..BUT women usually get asked out by average looking guys so it's only a matter of tie lol..plus if a woman asked a guy out he prob would say yes...for f**k buddies atleast.An Aspie male would have to ask out 100 females in order to be lucky enough to get with one. Due to our lack of social skills and inability to read between the lines Aspie males have the least success when it comes to dating.
i've been turned down by men before, even just for sex. women do get rejected, you know.
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28 Nov 2012, 4:46 pm
hyperlexian wrote:
steviewonderau wrote:
a male may have to ask 10 women out and be lucky if he gets with one of them. a female may be asked out by 10 guys and she gets to choose the one guy she gets with, an easy female would sleep with all 10 guys. in both situations the females have the power to choose, the males are powerless.
there is no power at all for a female if the male she desires is not one of the ten who asks her out. it's not as though females get to select which men will be attracted to her. i think you're maybe missing that point.
aspie females often give out mixed signals or "incorrect" signals, which exacerbates the issue. so all 10 men could be ones that she has no interest in whatsoever.
_________________
AQ 25
Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
28 Nov 2012, 5:56 pm
wtfid2 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
steviewonderau wrote:
a male may have to ask 10 women out and be lucky if he gets with one of them. a female may be asked out by 10 guys and she gets to choose the one guy she gets with, an easy female would sleep with all 10 guys. in both situations the females have the power to choose, the males are powerless.
there is no power at all for a female if the male she desires is not one of the ten who asks her out. it's not as though females get to select which men will be attracted to her. i think you're maybe missing that point.
aspie females often give out mixed signals or "incorrect" signals, which exacerbates the issue. so all 10 men could be ones that she has no interest in whatsoever.
it might be men she finds unattractive/ not to her taste asking her out. just like you can't score a second date with any girls of your choice, similarly many girls can't score a first or second date with a man of their choice. when a female has no power over who asks her out, it is quite frustrating for her on the dating scene.
there is no reason to assume a female of a certain level of attractiveness will get men of certain levels of attractiveness asking her out. some women put men off without meaning to, particularly some aspie women that may seem too cold or "off".
i'd say you are not an authority on pickiness by any stretch of the imagination.
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28 Nov 2012, 9:47 pm
there is no equality and fairness when it comes to dating/relationships. some people are born into wealth and have good looks that make them most desirable to attracting partners. if you are an unattractive poor, broke loser guy you have absolutely no chance at all.
Last edited by steviewonderau on 28 Nov 2012, 9:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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