The funny thing I noticed abt Dating and Car.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Dec 2012, 5:15 pm

What I have experienced was the following:

The ladies I dated who HAD cars are the ones who didn't like the fact that I don't own mine - they were the most who kinda complained about it.

The ladies I dated who DIDN'T have cars, didn't even give a s**t about this.


Which is funny, because logically it should be the other way around!! Since it would be enough for one of the partners in any couple to have a car in order...you know, it makes everything easier. It's the car-less ladies who were supposed to complain and nag because we had to rely on the shitty public transports, but they never did nor they even gave the slightest sign of being bothered about this.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 03 Dec 2012, 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MXH
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03 Dec 2012, 5:21 pm

ones with cars felt you were inferior than them because they had one and you didnt. Thus you lost appeal at being inferior.



redrobin62
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03 Dec 2012, 5:45 pm

On a similar WP post, an NT wife said she had to leave her ASD husband because he was too co-dependent on her and leaned on her for everything. She complained he never met her halfway so she bounced. I can see how tiring it'd be for her to drive her husband everywhere, not to mention probably being the one laden down with additional chores like cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, bill paying and maybe even bringing home the bacon. Stressful indeed.



feenie
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03 Dec 2012, 5:58 pm

Do most people in Beirut (isn't that a vibrant metropolis? You'd think they'd have good public transport) drive? Or do you live in some suburban area of Beirut where public transportation is not so good?

I live in a suburban part of the Greater Toronto Area. So it is a turn-off to most girls here if you don't drive. I have a car out of necessity basically. It would take me 70 minutes to get to work via the bus system (I work in a different municipality from where I live). By car, it takes me a third of the time basically. But women who live in parts of Toronto with good public transportation (especially near a subway. I believe they are called metros in your part of the world?) probably don't care either way. I think picking up a lady in a car or offering her a ride home will impress a girl in even downtown Toronto. But it's more of a status symbol. Not something that they see as a necessity. And honestly, automobile travel in Old Toronto, especially downtown Toronto, is so tedious that automobile travel will either be slower or not net you much in terms of time savings. Especially if you are wasting time circling around looking for free parking like most motorists in Toronto. Or if you pay to save time and walking distance, you have to go through the trouble of running over to the meter, paying for parking and then having to put the receipt on your dashboard. All that stuff adds time to your commute. Being a motorist in Old Toronto is such a tedious affair. I would rather chat leisurely with my date on a subway or streetcar than stress myself out braving rush hour downtown Toronto traffic. Even in the suburbs, rush hour traffic can be stressful.

There is too much automobile dependence in our society. It's clogging our roads and causing gridlock. Increasing dependence on foreign oil. And people are becoming fat and sometimes even obese driving around in their cars instead of walking, taking public transit (requires more walking) or riding bicycles. People being isolated in their cars is also breaking down social harmony. And all these cars make our streets a lot less safe, especially for children.

No one wants to invest in public transit for the greater good. Everyone wants to live further and further away from the core cities because they don't want to live near "undesirable" minorities in the city ("white flight". Here in Toronto, the minorities have been moving into suburbs like Mississauga, Brampton, Richmond Hill, Markham, etc. So white people are moving further and further away. And their commutes to work are getting longer and longer until they find another job closer to their new homes). Meanwhile, motorists are heavily subsidized and they have no idea. For eg. all that "free" parking you see out there isn't actually free. Somebody has to pay for it whether directly or indirectly.

I like the convenience of owning a car. But I wish we as a society were a lot less dependent on automobiles.



Last edited by feenie on 03 Dec 2012, 6:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.

wtfid2
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03 Dec 2012, 6:10 pm

MXH wrote:
ones with cars felt you were inferior than them because they had one and you didnt. Thus you lost appeal at being inferior.
yup it's a status symbol..they had the balls in this marriage :p


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Trencher93
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03 Dec 2012, 6:17 pm

Reminds me of Young MC:

Girls are fakin' goodness sakin' / They want the man who brings home the bacon / Got no money and you got no car / Then you got no women and there you are



feenie
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03 Dec 2012, 6:21 pm

Rappers say stuff like "girls like cash", "first I get the money, then I get the b*****s". And yet girls usually look down on guys like me who have visited prostitutes? Hey, what's the difference? I just do things Pay As You Go style instead of going on a month to month contract or god forbid, a long-term contract. :lol: The downside of this is that I pay more per-use just like you would with any Pay As You Go plan (I would hope so anyway. If your girlfriend costs more than the $200-250/hr escorts I've seen, I don't envy you. Though this one regular has been giving me the occasional $140/h discount. lol) But the upside is flexibility, being able to buy only what I use and being able to switch carriers anytime I want (I think it's fair to say I have a low sex drive. There are times where I'll go 6 weeks and not miss sex. And I can go a lot longer without. I think it's largely overrated actually. I'm currently 3 1/2 weeks without as I speak. I could go the rest of my life without it but curiosity gets the best of me. I always have hope that some girl will rock my world and prove to me that sex is not overrated. Sex can be fun and exciting. But I feel ripped off when society and porn have built it up to be so ever amazing. And the reality is always a let down compared to fantasy. A vagina can't come close to replicating the pleasure I feel from my right hand.)



aspiemike
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03 Dec 2012, 7:18 pm

feenie wrote:
Do most people in Beirut (isn't that a vibrant metropolis? You'd think they'd have good public transport) drive? Or do you live in some suburban area of Beirut where public transportation is not so good?

I live in a suburban part of the Greater Toronto Area. So it is a turn-off to most girls here if you don't drive. I have a car out of necessity basically. It would take me 70 minutes to get to work via the bus system (I work in a different municipality from where I live). By car, it takes me a third of the time basically. But women who live in parts of Toronto with good public transportation (especially near a subway. I believe they are called metros in your part of the world?) probably don't care either way. I think picking up a lady in a car or offering her a ride home will impress a girl in even downtown Toronto. But it's more of a status symbol. Not something that they see as a necessity. And honestly, automobile travel in Old Toronto, especially downtown Toronto, is so tedious that automobile travel will either be slower or not net you much in terms of time savings. Especially if you are wasting time circling around looking for free parking like most motorists in Toronto. Or if you pay to save time and walking distance, you have to go through the trouble of running over to the meter, paying for parking and then having to put the receipt on your dashboard. All that stuff adds time to your commute. Being a motorist in Old Toronto is such a tedious affair. I would rather chat leisurely with my date on a subway or streetcar than stress myself out braving rush hour downtown Toronto traffic. Even in the suburbs, rush hour traffic can be stressful.

There is too much automobile dependence in our society. It's clogging our roads and causing gridlock. Increasing dependence on foreign oil. And people are becoming fat and sometimes even obese driving around in their cars instead of walking, taking public transit (requires more walking) or riding bicycles. People being isolated in their cars is also breaking down social harmony. And all these cars make our streets a lot less safe, especially for children.

No one wants to invest in public transit for the greater good. Everyone wants to live further and further away from the core cities because they don't want to live near "undesirable" minorities in the city ("white flight". Here in Toronto, the minorities have been moving into suburbs like Mississauga, Brampton, Richmond Hill, Markham, etc. So white people are moving further and further away. And their commutes to work are getting longer and longer until they find another job closer to their new homes). Meanwhile, motorists are heavily subsidized and they have no idea. For eg. all that "free" parking you see out there isn't actually free. Somebody has to pay for it whether directly or indirectly.

I like the convenience of owning a car. But I wish we as a society were a lot less dependent on automobiles.


Up here in Ottawa, things are becoming more and more like this. Avoid the Queensway during rush hour of course, and a few other roads if you don't want to wait 10 minutes or more at each green light.

I think having a car plays a huge role in why anyone here even gives me a date. However, living with roommates on the other hand.... bit more of a turnoff.



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03 Dec 2012, 7:49 pm

MXH wrote:
ones with cars felt you were inferior than them because they had one and you didnt. Thus you lost appeal at being inferior.

Sad but true.

I guess it's the same thing with women who wear glasses and those who don't, most of the latter probably would despise you if you wear them, the former possibly don't care...



Fnord
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03 Dec 2012, 8:01 pm

MXH wrote:
ones with cars felt you were inferior than them because they had one and you didnt. Thus you lost appeal at being inferior.

"He who walks, walks alone." -- High School Dating Rule


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feenie
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03 Dec 2012, 8:09 pm

aspiemike wrote:
Up here in Ottawa, things are becoming more and more like this. Avoid the Queensway during rush hour of course, and a few other roads if you don't want to wait 10 minutes or more at each green light.

I think having a car plays a huge role in why anyone here even gives me a date. However, living with roommates on the other hand.... bit more of a turnoff.
It depends on the environment yeah. Here in the Greater Toronto Area, living with your parents doesn't seem to hurt guys anywhere near as much as pretty much the rest of North America. Not having a car here in the suburbs is a much greater liability than living with your parents, let alone room mates! lol.

Yeah I've seen women here in Toronto mock guys who live with their parents. But many girls seem to be understanding if the guy is a full-time student or working full-time.

The way I see it, If I moved out of my parents' place and got my own apartment, I wouldn't have any money for prostitutes probably. The prostitutes are a sure thing (though from my experiences, sex is so overrated that I should probably cut back on them or quit it entirely). An aspie with a car and his own place, not a sure thing! There have been girls that have been eager as f**k with me despite living with my parents (it helps that girls tend to think I'm cute and that I have a real job and a car. Which are things that I want anyway for myself. Not to impress chicks). Until they figured out the extent of my social awkwardness. You can take the Aspie out of his parents' house. But you can't take the Aspie out of the Aspie.

It's also not a sure thing that a relationship is what's going to make me happy in life. So why should I sacrifice $650+/month out of my savings to get my own place just to impress some b***h who judges a man based on his social status and whether he can impress her friends and family or not and not on how good he is to her? Getting a girlfriend might make me appear "normal" to family members and random acquaintances that I shouldn't give a s**t about. But I don't know if that's what I really want. I have "fallen in love" before. But for the wrong reasons. And it was more about being in love with being in love rather than loving the person. And more about chasing a fantasy. Rather than a real relationship, which is more sobering and less lovey dovey. At the end of the day, I'm a very independent person. I can tolerate living with my parents because I've known them all my life. But I don't know if I can handle living with a girlfriend. I need my own personal sanctuary to recharge my batteries. It's kind of like how Dexter Morgan kept his apartment a secret from his girlfriend/wife. Not saying that I'm a serial killer that has homicidal urges or anything. lol.



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03 Dec 2012, 8:53 pm

In some parts of Europe if you don't have a car shortly after driving age you simply won't get many dates, or if you do get girls attracted to you don't expect anything long term to come from it. All a bit sad really. It's not so bad here in the UK if you live in the cities a lot more people are open minded about it due to our very good transport links. I know people here complain about public transport but if anything they take it for granted :) it's leagues better than even some of the more developed countries like the states.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Dec 2012, 2:42 am

JanuaryMan wrote:
In some parts of Europe if you don't have a car shortly after driving age you simply won't get many dates, or if you do get girls attracted to you don't expect anything long term to come from it. All a bit sad really. It's not so bad here in the UK if you live in the cities a lot more people are open minded about it due to our very good transport links. I know people here complain about public transport but if anything they take it for granted :) it's leagues better than even some of the more developed countries like the states.



But that doesn't explain why car-less women are more cool about it.


:( I hope MXH isn't right about inferiority thing, but again, women (I am fairly stereotyping here) have this need....to mate up.



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04 Dec 2012, 3:15 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
In some parts of Europe if you don't have a car shortly after driving age you simply won't get many dates, or if you do get girls attracted to you don't expect anything long term to come from it. All a bit sad really. It's not so bad here in the UK if you live in the cities a lot more people are open minded about it due to our very good transport links. I know people here complain about public transport but if anything they take it for granted :) it's leagues better than even some of the more developed countries like the states.



But that doesn't explain why car-less women are more cool about it.


:( I hope MXH isn't right about inferiority thing, but again, women (I am fairly stereotyping here) have this need....to mate up.


The way I see it:


- Women that are used to waiting for buses/whatever dont have to change/adapt their lifestyle
-Women that do have a car may be afraid of needing to drive you around everywhere...(I have had to do this with a few friends for a somewhat short period, it becomes extremely tiring) and do need to adapt their lifestyle.
Nobody with a car makes their partner take a bus wherever if they can get them there... if this changed most of this women would be ok with you being carless.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Dec 2012, 6:34 am

spongy wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
In some parts of Europe if you don't have a car shortly after driving age you simply won't get many dates, or if you do get girls attracted to you don't expect anything long term to come from it. All a bit sad really. It's not so bad here in the UK if you live in the cities a lot more people are open minded about it due to our very good transport links. I know people here complain about public transport but if anything they take it for granted :) it's leagues better than even some of the more developed countries like the states.



But that doesn't explain why car-less women are more cool about it.


:( I hope MXH isn't right about inferiority thing, but again, women (I am fairly stereotyping here) have this need....to mate up.


The way I see it:


- Women that are used to waiting for buses/whatever dont have to change/adapt their lifestyle
-Women that do have a car may be afraid of needing to drive you around everywhere...(I have had to do this with a few friends for a somewhat short period, it becomes extremely tiring) and do need to adapt their lifestyle.
Nobody with a car makes their partner take a bus wherever if they can get them there... if this changed most of this women would be ok with you being carless.



Most guys drive their gfs around, why we never hear them complaining about that? No, this issue is not totally genderless.