The funny thing I noticed abt Dating and Car.

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There is a definite gender bias yea. I had a thing with a girl with a car while I didn't have one at the time and she'd drive me around on dates (though I would pay for dates completely because she claimed that she was tight on money until she got her next disability cheque). But she was obese and very unattractive. And I found out that the next guy she dates would borrow money from her (a woman on disability! Meanwhile he worked! Shameless!) and not pay her back. There you go. Desperate women are not only willing to give you rides but be taken for a ride financially too.

Back in my brother's University days, there was a girl who really fancied him. He didn't have a car. But she had her own. He would be the one doing the driving on outings though.

It is what it is. I don't know what to tell you. Women are socialized to care about a man's social status. Women tend to be overly concerned about what their friends and family think about them. Including their choice of boyfriend. "Oh he's a loser girl, dump his ass, you can do better!"

The dating economy is basically what the financial economy would be like without government restrictions. Unfettered capitalism. It's not about your value as a human being. It's about what you can bring to the table for your woman to make her feel good about herself (whether it be status that can impress her friends/family, money to buy her things to impress her friends/family or helping her live out her little Twilight romance etc.)

I've always found it amusing how society has pretty much collectively decided that there should be some sort of economic and social justice in the world in terms of the redistribution of wealth, the welfare state and anti-discrimination laws in the workplace. But dating is one of those realms where social inequality is rampant. A liberal girl may think "poor low socio-economic status person, have some welfare" but she would never dare date a "loser". *gasp* God forbid. You don't see them walk up to a homeless person and kiss/hug them or say "Hey can I interest you in a blowjob?" Maybe, just maybe, a homeless person would appreciate that more than a quarter once in awhile. Society may keep those of low standing alive. But they are left in the margins of society pretty much universally. Humans are social animals and social needs are pretty important in the Maslow hierarchy of needs. Most people, unless they are schizoid or something, resent being rejected by their peers. And yet social inequality and social stratification is universally accepted as the status quo by both the left and the right even though they may agree (even the right to a certain extent) that alleviating economic inequality is a worthwhile cause.

You are focusing on the driving to a date aspect, I wont deny that, however bein with someone that cant drive goes beyond that

1st heres this thing thats called alcohol tests almost whenever you go out.
Couples/groups avoid them by designating someone that wont drink too much that night. Being with someone that cant drive gives you the obligation to be a designated driver every time you go out.
I know you dont really like alcohol but this is a huge deal to most males/females I know

2nd Sometimes you and your partner will have to meet other people:
2) a) Does she drive you there every time?
Quite oftenly my parents/ sisters with their couples/friends go on separate cars to meetings because their schedules dont match.
I know you´ll say that you dont mind taking the bus but society will look down on her if she makes you take the bus and picking you up each time is a bit of a pain
2)b) Do you leave together at all times?
Yesterday I was at a 2 hour long meeting for one of my hobbies.
Half-way quite a few people left. And 6 of us remained there
One of this people didnt look too happy about staying and I begun to wondered why she had stayed. A minute later I found out that she had come with her room mate and she had to wait for her to want to leave as well.
If she is tired:
Does she leave you there to take the bus leaving all your friends/whatever wondering why she didnt wait?
Does she stay there and be mad at you later for making her stay?
.
.
.
Having only one person that can drive can make things a little complicated in a relationship and I know plenty of couples that actually take two cars to avoid this sort of discussions(2 designated drivers, you can leave whenever you want to...)

Last edited by spongy on 04 Dec 2012, 9:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

feenie, the fact that you dated someone (who you clearly had no respect for anyways) when you had no wheels completely belies your point that women must care about men who drive as some sort of status thing. even your brother had a girlfriend when he didn't have a car. you were trying to say that women don't want to date men who don't have vehicles, but your examples prove the opposite - clearly, if a woman cares about a man then the vehicle is a non-issue (which you demonstrated, thank you).

it seems that if a woman is interested in a man's inner worth, then the outer "things" don't matter so much. your examples were very good at showing that. of course, many people are shallow - but many others are not.

also, the issue seems to depend slightly on where a person lives, as well as being an individual concern. it mattered more to men and women in canada, where the public transportation was terrible in my small city. here in the UK in a bigger city i see men and women travelling together on public transportation all the time on their way back to and from a night out. it just isn't a big deal.

Didn't have time to read all this but here's a note:

I drive! But i have no car, in fact i was the one who usually drived after the date.

Boo, this isn't rocket science. People need rides if they do not own a car. I've heard of girls having sex with people simply in exchange for rides places. You'll get plenty of "friends" if you give people rides. And yeah, maybe the reason they don't criticize your car is because their's is nonexistent. Crappy car vs nonexistent car, crappy car wins. It's not like if you have no car you can be like "Nope, I only accept free rides from people in 2011+ BMW 5 Series." But yeah, having a car will get you a lot more "friends" who need rides places.

His point is that the women he and his brotherr dated were of such a quality that they not only dated him but gave him her checks just for a relationship.

no, one of the women had a boyfriend who borrowed money from her, so it sounds like it is the other way around. she was kindhearted and lent him money. it seems like she may have been taken advantage of, but that doesn't make her low quality. she comes out appearing like nothing bad at all, whereas feenie's tirade shows the opposite of what he intends.

Tbh, not owning a car wasn't a dealbreaker for them otherwise they wouldn't have dated me in thr first place - but they complained or criticized about it later on.

maybe they thought it was something you were working to get

I've always had a decent car. But the girls I'm dating don't usually let me drive. hehe

I don't particularly blame them.

Good thing it's not like parts of the world where the "free market economy" leads to "monopolies."

I miss the days of socialism, aka "arranged marriages."

The woman whom was smitten with my brother was superb. I would have liked to have had a girl like that fancy me.

The girl I got involved with on the other hand had such low self-esteem (due to her weight and appearance) that she was basically allowing men to take advantage of her not just sexually but financially in some cases.

Yeah sure it's not always about social status. But if my brother weren't handsome, I doubt he would have been able to grab that girl's interest. Each girl has some individual variation in what they look for. At the end of the day romance is like unfettered capitalism though. Some girls may be looking more for social status. Some may look more for looks. Whatever. Most people get paired up because at a certain point people come to the realization that they can't do any better and have to settle if they don't want to be "lonely".

your last paragraph equally applies to men, not just women: some MEN may be looking for social status. some may look for looks. etc.

by putting down your ex-girlfriend as being so desperate as that, you must realise you are only insulting yourself. is she was truly that desperate in your eyes, you are saying that you're really *that* awful. that's unfortunate you see yourself that way, as i don't think it is likely to be that accurate.

I sold my penis-extender awhile ago~

I wouldn't say that I'm awful. However it is the truth that she is desperate. She practically throws herself at guys (not just me). Ugly guys have been able to "hit that" without much effort.

When a girl tells me that she has feelings for me, I want to feel like I earned that to an extent. She was attracted to me, liked the sex and liked that I paid for dates (as opposed to the losers borrowing money from her), though she promised she would start paying for dates in return once she got her disability check. I didn't really do anything to earn such deep affections.