Does anyone actually look for woman with a personality?

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If a lady seems awesome, I talk to her regardless of her being out of my league, that is why I still have friends that would like to see me back in college with them. The friend zone is the best place to be till you know a girl you hang out with is interested.

My personality type is someone that likes to think like me and just love computers, gaming, and watches tv that has funny comedy. likes swimming and loves to walk and talk about general. someone that is lovable and understanding. smart person like me and is honest. not a liar etc.

A problem for me is that I like someone but can get bored of them quickly if they show no intellect. The worse problem is people realise I'm smart and feel unable to compete with that. I've had a girl try to impress me by trying to explain what it means to reinstall a computer system and she had blatantly asked her sister who knew all that. I think there's a deep fear in people sometimes that they wont connect or will never be enough when they realize I'm intellectual, so it's probably two-fold to success for them to be intellectual to begin with.

That said a friend came out and said something to me that completely shocked me once. That is, that I gravitate towards artsy girls - women who like poetry, art, music, drawing, etc. It was a completely astonishing absolute fact that I'd overlooked. I think that could signify a woman with a greater sense of sensitivity and emotion. So I think what we want and what we need are two very different things.

... and maybe the reality is I just need way too much from a woman


Which is a joke btw but it's a tall order still maybe.

I value looks and personality equally; good morals I value more. However, I'll admit I'm weird compared to most. I obsess over math and music, and am childlike in many ways; for example, does anyone cartoons?. It is going to take a special (I don't mean that as dumb, but unique) woman to tolerate me...lol But at least I'm honest, and mean no harm to anyone. I am not even sure if the right woman for me exists out there. (Gets a geiger counter to look for a woman with a magnetic personality)

I read this entire thread. Very few posts mentioned anything specific to an actual personality. Several of those few were vague. So what is the agreed upon definition of the word "personality"? Are you discussing looking for people who have M.P.D.? Are you meaning gullible and suggestive? Do you mean "dominatrix" or submissive"? Are you referring to someone who is adaptive, compliant, independent, rebellious, clingy, ritualistic, happy, somber, arrogant, intellectual, talkative, quiet? Any of these can be a personality alone or a single aspect of a complex personality, or one of several within a multiple personality identity.

What attracted me to my wife was her looks and her laughter combined. What kept me was her sincerity, her intensity, and her tolerance.

But speaking honestly, most neurotypical men who have discussed the issue in my presence have usually mentioned body parts, a face worth looking at during intercourse, a butt worth looking at during intercourse, breasts worth looking at during intercourse.

Those thoughts didn't occur to me when I first saw my wife. My first thought was "she is beautiful". Then I saw/heard her laugh and I thought "she sounds a very kind person". To this day, I don't understand why I thought her laughter was indicative of kindness, but I did, and I was correct. Her laugh emboldened me to speak to her, to "fish" for information on her marital status, to ask her to join me for a night of playing the piano, and to kiss her at the end of that night. Her laughter kept the night perfect and kept me from blundering. Her smile made everything good. Her laugh made everything possible. That first kiss with her that night made life worth living for the very first time.

So was that personality or was it looks? That day, for me, it was one and the same.

Looks are not the most important thing I look for in a partner, but I'm not attracted to women who are morbidly obese, or don't look after themselves.

Personality wise, I'd like someone who isn't an outgoing 'socialite' type, but not too introverted either. We should also appreciate each others interests, even if we're not entirely interested ourselves (for example, I don't read many books, but I'd date a bookworm).

I look for girls who come off spunky, energetic and peppy. NT or autie, does not matter to me.

Sadly, I do go for girls with decent looks. What guy doesn't. Even the sweetest, most accepting guy is guilty of it. Then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While some guys might be un-attracted to a slightly overweight girl, I've met plenty of girls who are a little heavy but are gorgeous.

In general, I'm not going to be attracted to a girl if she doesn't captivate me, for lack of a better word.

And this is the substance of it all. Some guys find heavier women to be attractive. some guys like the botox lips and silicone breasts. some guys like skin tanned to leather toughness. So, yes. beauty is subjective. Some people might think a celebrity woman is attractive.

I don't find people like angelina jolie, elisha dushku, etc. to be attractive. They have sultry faces, but that's it. Sultry faces indicate to me that they are usually women who expect the best men to fawn on them, who expect something for nothing, who expect to be wined and dined like a queen. That is not always the case, but that has been my limited experience, so that type of face was something made me disinterested. Same thing with "manufactured" beauty, botox, silicone, too much cosmetics. These type of women would usually have a superior attitude, which would always make me dislike them. I'm sure there are plenty of women who are obsessed with "manufacturing" their beauty that are very sweet, kind hearted women, but in my limited experience, these women were looking for rich mean and were down right cruel to people without money, so when ever I saw that type of body structure, I immediately associated that type of attitude with it, and those type of women appear ugly to me.

To me, kindness, sincerity, natural beauty, are important. Sure I have physical preferences. I was exposed to porn at a very early age, when porn was technically illegal, so I developed expectations based off of women who were normal, but who's poses were unnatural (contoritionists, etc.). so my expectations based off the physical aspects weren't disappointed.

Thankfully, when I met my wife, I had already started to realize that a lot of the porn poses were nothing more than artificial gimicks. So I had no expectations based off of "positioning" etc. Thus when my wife and I finally entered into a physical relationship, we were both exploring new activity together and I didn't have any expectations. I had questions based off the garbage I saw from the videos the men in the dorm kept bringing in (by then porn was finally legal, and rediculous), but she was as unexperienced as I was, even more because she had never been exposed to the garbage of porn.

So personality and physical beauty are all subjective. For me, based off my limited experience and conditioning, they played an important role together in connecting me with my wife. Now, her heart keeps our relationship going. Her kindness. So it all comes down to personality (each person's definition) in the end, imo. for it to be successful.