Am I missing the point?
We should create a club...Les Femmes Fatales!
Yeah, but that doesn't mean that they want me, toots! Just because I'm weird, doesn't mean I'm delusional.
But hellz yeah, let's!! ! \m/
_________________
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
~Steve Jobs
So the guy says that not having you in his life would be sad for him, (isn't that a feeling?) and asks if you can try and just be friends with him, taking sex out of the equation, like going out, and doing fun things together, and seeing how it goes.
Now, am I thick in the head, or is this conflicting information?
See this is EXACTLY what happened to me, except for months my ex told me she wanted to marry me and she loved me.. yet as soon as some one else she wanted to bonk more than she wanted to bonk me came along.. all of that went out the window. She of course wanted to 'Still be friends, but without the sex part' but that is so her Ego doesn't take a hit. It says to her (and likely your former boyfriend) that you love them sooo much you'll be willing to continue to give them all the emotional support and platonic relationship aspects.. without them having to sacrifice anything to get them, even if it is emotionally destructive to you. That makes them feel even better about themselves since it says you're willing to give up basically EVERYTHING in exchange for nothing in return. Since once sex has been involved, the "friendship" will never be quite the same again.. unless it's that both partners admit they didn't feel anything..
I mean yeah that's exactly it. My Ex would have been perfectly content to continue moaning to me about Other Guys.. continue getting me to take her to shows.. continue getting me to help her with school work or going to see movies with her or whatever.. all the while relegating me back to where I had always apparently been "Plan B".. But she wasn't willing to ultimately give up casual sex as a sacrifice.. That's ultimately all monogamy is.. it's a way of telling your partner that you care about them so much you're willing to give up the option of having sex other than with them.. especially once a new "Plan A" became available to her.
If you want my advice.. tell him to take a long walk off a short pier as he only likely wants to keep you as a back burner option incase whatever new thing he has going for him falls through.. after all he already knows he had you once and could likely do so again.. just not right this minute.
So the guy says that not having you in his life would be sad for him, (isn't that a feeling?) and asks if you can try and just be friends with him, taking sex out of the equation, like going out, and doing fun things together, and seeing how it goes.
Now, am I thick in the head, or is this conflicting information?
See this is EXACTLY what happened to me, except for months my ex told me she wanted to marry me and she loved me.. yet as soon as some one else she wanted to bonk more than she wanted to bonk me came along.. all of that went out the window. She of course wanted to 'Still be friends, but without the sex part' but that is so her Ego doesn't take a hit. It says to her (and likely your former boyfriend) that you love them sooo much you'll be willing to continue to give them all the emotional support and platonic relationship aspects.. without them having to sacrifice anything to get them, even if it is emotionally destructive to you. That makes them feel even better about themselves since it says you're willing to give up basically EVERYTHING in exchange for nothing in return. Since once sex has been involved, the "friendship" will never be quite the same again.. unless it's that both partners admit they didn't feel anything..
I mean yeah that's exactly it. My Ex would have been perfectly content to continue moaning to me about Other Guys.. continue getting me to take her to shows.. continue getting me to help her with school work or going to see movies with her or whatever.. all the while relegating me back to where I had always apparently been "Plan B".. But she wasn't willing to ultimately give up casual sex as a sacrifice.. That's ultimately all monogamy is.. it's a way of telling your partner that you care about them so much you're willing to give up the option of having sex other than with them.. especially once a new "Plan A" became available to her.
If you want my advice.. tell him to take a long walk off a short pier as he only likely wants to keep you as a back burner option incase whatever new thing he has going for him falls through.. after all he already knows he had you once and could likely do so again.. just not right this minute.
Lol@ long walk off the short pier. I love that.
The situation with us was slightly different. He never required any emotional support from me. He liked our intellectual debates and there were many. We also loved the same sports and neither of us was keen on a 24/7 relationship.
I think his aspieness, was evident in his stubborn ways not to admit a relationship can evolve, and things can change.
I know you guys might think I'm delusional, but I really do think he may like me more than he was willing to admit.
I was serious about my intention to walk away. He didn't give me ultimatums, make any dramatic scenes, or tell me I was being nasty. He was very understanding, or appeared to be. But he just asked me if we can please try out this possibility.
I didn't agree or disagree. I left him wondering.
that may be the best way to do it.. if he decides then that you meant more to him than he thought at first, and you're keen.. then go for it.. and see what happens.. If however he just quits talking to you.. it likely means it didn't really mean that much to him..
I dunno.. I don't react well to rejection, I'm not Adele, and I do not wish nothing but the best for whoever has slighted me.. generally I want them to get some sort of biblical plague which will result in being able to use the adjective "Scrofulous" to describe them..
I dunno.. I don't react well to rejection, I'm not Adele, and I do not wish nothing but the best for whoever has slighted me.. generally I want them to get some sort of biblical plague which will result in being able to use the adjective "Scrofulous" to describe them..
Lol
But seriously, if you love someone how can you want harm to come to them?
"It's a thin liiiine between love and hate..."
_________________
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
~Steve Jobs
I dunno.. I don't react well to rejection, I'm not Adele, and I do not wish nothing but the best for whoever has slighted me.. generally I want them to get some sort of biblical plague which will result in being able to use the adjective "Scrofulous" to describe them..
You are too funny. You guys cheered me up a lot.
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