Left alone by my boyfriend for a while...for his ex

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Hey,

After going out for about a month my boyfriend (AS) asked me to go out with his friends.
We went to the house where his best friend, who happens to be his ex, lives with other of his closest friends.
They were together for about 3 years.
His friend went to took a shower, and disappeared longer than expected an my boyfriend went to check out what was going on.
This is the first time that I was with his group of friends, so it was a little awkward for me to be alone for like half an hour. Also,
It started to break my confidence that he was spending so much time with his ex instead of me. The situation repeated a couple of times
during the night. It doesn't help to know things like he spend most of his time at his best friend's house after work.

We spoke about this after the party (during it I behaved my best and tried to have fun), and he apologized. He said that he was slightly drunk and that he didn't notice he was hurting me.
He reassured me that he was over his ex, but I still feel really insecure.

Do you think he honestly could've been oblivious of how he was hurting me? And also that I'm overreacting?
I keep wondering If I'm not what he deserves because I'm not able to understand his AS

Your boyfriend's behavior seems suspect to me. I would definitely be jealous and suspicious. He kept on disappearing and sneaking off with his ex, or should I say, so-called ex. I'm willing to be they weren't just talking about old times or current events on TV. I don't know. To me he seems like he can't be trusted.

It's comforting to hear from somebody with AS that I'm not being irrational. Thank you.
I'm afraid I may not be able to trust him after this, so I should probably face the facts.

He's not treating her as a "friend". The whole situation seems very suss to me. I wouldn't be trusting him at all, nor believing him much at all either, if it was me.

Hi "best friend" is his ex? That would already ring an alarm...Inaddition if the best friend even let him leave you alone also rings a bell. What caused their relationship to end?

It's not unheard of to be friends with ex's.

He said that nothing in particular, that it just stopped working.

I asked him what they could possibly be talking about in that moment that they couldn't talk any other time. Me? Life?
and he said that both of those things.
I was shocked that he would even consider to talk about life with his ex, while I was alone upstairs for so long, and he replied that he didn't understand why that was so surprising.

*edit* I think he is attched to that girl be is best friend or be it that he still has feelings(which he denies). I think I would be too uncomfortable personally and the curiosity would make me sick. I also think you would be better off finding someone who doesn't have such attachments.

From what I have read here, I think it may be obvious he may be thinking about hooking back up with this ex of his. I hate to state this, but that's what I really think. And the fact that he is hurting you like this, going behind your back? It makes me mad, really mad. A real man wouldn't ever hurt you this way. I am so sorry.

Thank you all for your advice and support. I feel really sad. I don't want to leave him but my mind tell me is for the best.

I dont see anything wrong.

he did say that there was no attempt going on for hooking up with his ex, so trust him and forget it.

if you don't trust him, than you have a very good reason for breaking up.

really, what is up with all you damn suspicious poeple? relax.

So why don’t you leave him for someone else for a while … with an arbitrarily large value of “a while”?

Those with nothing to hide, hide nothing.

The mere fact that he was slinking around in a clandestine manner should be suspect. Honest people with pure intentions don't act secretive. I don't care what his excuse was, he should be concerned about a) how this made you feel and b) how it would look to others.

Be careful with this. It sounds like a slippery slope!

just dump him and tell him you do it because some dudes on the internet told you to do so.

you just feel hurt because he ignored you over someone else.

get over it or dump him.

Your boyfriend snuck away to have sex. If this bothers you, you should bite the bullet, accept the lonliness you will certainly feel initially, and break it off. Wasn't it obvious to you? Do you have to actually see it with your own two eyes? You need to free yourself to meet someone else that can genuinely love you and only you. This advice is in your best interest unless you are SO weak that you refuse to accept it. The fact that you stayed there tells me that you are in denial because the PAIN is SO BAD, that you refused to see what was right in front of your face.
Open your eyes!! Think about it: In the shower (my God! of all places) in there too long to where your boyfriend had to go and see why!! ! Dear God! Are you that naive!?
To me it looks as though you are AS and your boyfriend is neurotypical. You're being used.
Sorry. There can be better days if you move on. Have faith. Try to meet others.