How can you get a girlfriend if you have aspergers syndrome?
First and foremost, this "PUA" (Pick-up Artist) BS will not get you a girlfriend. It might get you laid, but you will not find a long-term relationship this way.
Personally I met my lovely girlfriend by being my full-out aspie self. She was attracted to my intelligence and the not-so-mainstream fields I immerse myself intensely in (psychoanalytic theory, eastern philosophy, high-level mathematics and physics)
She liked how brutally honest I was, and that she can learn things from me.
A bit of history about her; she is not quite NT, I think. She has some "aspie-like" qualities but I don't think she is an aspie. She has some different interests like sewing, making her own clothes and furniture, random art projects... her father is a lot like me and loves to talk about his obscure interests for hours on end with us (modern art, european history, eastern philosophy to name a few), so she's used to a somewhat aspie-like environment.
In addition, she is from Russia, her parents being first generation immigrants. With that being said, they all know exactly what it's like not to fit in here, and as we recently concluded in a conversation; "No one really fits in here".
Russians seem to be particularly empathetic towards my aspie tendencies, as they prescribe themselves to be "weird" anyway; they do not see my eccentricities as odd but rather charming and unique.
So, to sum it all up: be yourself, find a girl who isn't a typical NT (she doesn't have to be an aspie), try and learn something - work on yourself, make yourself the type of guy she would actually want to be with (instead of pretending to be someone you're not using PUA BS), and maybe try to find a european or asian woman. There are of course caucasian women who would be more than sympathetic to aspie behavior, but they are far and few between in my experience; but I have noticed that asian and european (young) women are very aspie-friendly.
My assertion about these girls is based on my experience at university, being in the math faculty I'm surrounded by many socially awkward ~17-21 year old guys who, if they are not aspies, portray many aspie traits along with general social anxieties and seemingly act very awkward around these girls... but guess what? The girls are still there with them, and some of them even date the girls.
Perhaps it's time for you to learn Chinese or Russian?
Well yes casual sex is the is the point of PUA. Although learning how to be confident and comfortable with yourself can get you a girlfriend; the majority of PUAs do not want one.
Well yes casual sex is the is the point of PUA. Although learning how to be confident and comfortable with yourself can get you a girlfriend; the majority of PUAs do not want one.
You do not become confident in yourself or comfortable with yourself by "learning" how to manipulate women into being attracted to you. No wonder men have so many issues these days..
Well yes casual sex is the is the point of PUA. Although learning how to be confident and comfortable with yourself can get you a girlfriend; the majority of PUAs do not want one.
You do not become confident in yourself or comfortable with yourself by "learning" how to manipulate women into being attracted to you. No wonder men have so many issues these days..
Your confidence would increase regardless.
If you are using scripted routines then no you wouldn't become more comfortable with yourself. You will become more comfortable when you move past the basics and work on your natural game.
Well yes casual sex is the is the point of PUA. Although learning how to be confident and comfortable with yourself can get you a girlfriend; the majority of PUAs do not want one.
You do not become confident in yourself or comfortable with yourself by "learning" how to manipulate women into being attracted to you. No wonder men have so many issues these days..
Your confidence would increase regardless.
If you are using scripted routines then no you wouldn't become more comfortable with yourself. You will become more comfortable when you move past the basics and work on your natural game.
You're not making any point.. Your "natural game"? What the hell is that? You mean being yourself, and confident in that? That requires no PUA s**t.
I can't believe I'm actually replying to this crap. .
Well yes casual sex is the is the point of PUA. Although learning how to be confident and comfortable with yourself can get you a girlfriend; the majority of PUAs do not want one.
You do not become confident in yourself or comfortable with yourself by "learning" how to manipulate women into being attracted to you. No wonder men have so many issues these days..
Your confidence would increase regardless.
If you are using scripted routines then no you wouldn't become more comfortable with yourself. You will become more comfortable when you move past the basics and work on your natural game.
You're not making any point.. Your "natural game"? What the hell is that? You mean being yourself, and confident in that? That requires no PUA s**t.
I can't believe I'm actually replying to this crap. .
I can't believe I'm actually replying to this crap. .
Natural game is when you are not using scripted routines or false DHVs (fake stories). I don't think you actually know what PUA is.
It isn't manipulation and lying. It is understanding the social dynamics and psychology. Stuff Aspies don't know on their own which unless otherwise learned will lead to Incel or rarely getting laid.
I can't believe I'm actually replying to this crap. .
Natural game is when you are not using scripted routines or false DHVs (fake stories). I don't think you actually know what PUA is.
It isn't manipulation and lying. It is understanding the social dynamics and psychology. Stuff Aspies don't know on their own which unless otherwise learned will lead to Incel or rarely getting laid.
I know what PUA is. I'm sorry I don't know your terms like "natural game" aka being a douchebag.
You're in for a rude awakening one day. You and all the other virgins/neckbeards following douchebags that emotionally abuse women and sell it like a commodity.
zarok
Deinonychus
Joined: 4 Sep 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 327
Location: Greenville South Carolina
You've been given some good advice in this thread OP (and I'm NOT talking about resorting to PUA tactics, that is some of the worst advice I've seen unless you want to end up old and alone - at best PUA tactics will find you a trophy wife). Make yourself a fun, interesting person to be around and forget about "finding a girlfriend". Get on with your own life, do interesting things, work on your conversational skills (for example "facepalm" is a pretty f*****g terrible response to sincere advice - every woman (and everyone else) reading the thread at that point thought "what a dick"), stop thinking in terms of "the best" and "scraping the barrel" and maybe, just maybe, you might then meet the occasional person who is interested.
edit: There are plenty of autistic men who have and/or have had awesome wives and girlfriends. I bet they didn't say "facepalm" when someone gave them sincere advice.
Last edited by invisiblesilent on 25 Nov 2013, 9:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
The 3 girlfriends I had I met on forums. My 1st had sever dyslexia, ADHD & some minor OCD & we liked alot of the same shows(met on Comedy Central's forums, it was 11years ago when CC had forums). My 2nd girlfriend was an Aspie who I met on this forum by making a post here asking about how to find a companion & she replied that she was kind of looking for the same thing. The one I have now which is my 3rd messaged me after reading a lot of my posts. I posted aLOT here about being lonely & what I wanted & had to offer but I'm not like the stereotypical Aspie because I'm very emotionally supportive & love being close & affectionate with my partner & have other issues besides Aspergers. She's dealing with depression & I've been through that which is some of why I'm more sensitive & supportive & she liked more attention & is dependent & I am too. She may not be far enough on the spectrum to get an Aspergers diagnoses but she has some traits & her younger brother is a diagnosed Aspie.
I never had much luck with women offline or women on other forums or dating sites I think partly because of my various Aspergers issues & being more dependent & needy & depressed at times.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
You said you have problems with emotional expression and body language?
Well work on it! I spent years working on facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, et cetera.
That's pretty much all I did from ages 16 to 18. It really paid off too.
I don't settle for "bottom of the barrel" as you described, which honestly is a very subjective term.
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