Well, I hit off on another date with a girl from OK cupid recently. I talked to her much earlier but didn't make much of it because she was much taller then me (by about 5 inches) and I thought it would be weird. Then after another horrible date went wrong I decided to ignore that misgiving because dwelling on stupid physical differences are for neurotypicals. I asked her out and she agreed. I met her sort-of impromptu at a coffee shop near my work. She looked taller (and admittedly, a bit more attractive) then her profile. Didn't bother me so I went through the whole meet and greet routine with her. I made the unfortunate mistake of ordering an ice-blended drink while it was cold outside and ended up shivering through half our meeting. I even threw in a joke about. Anyways, for the time being, things thawed between us and it felt like I was talking to the first person who was interested and capable of holding a deep intellectual conversation with me. We ran the gamut of subjects, ranging from science, art, to star trek. Time had flown by rapidly and I had noticed that she was buttoning up her coat (the store owner also told us they were closing) so I decided it was time to leave the store. The problem was that I wanted to know more about her, but it was late and she wanted to head back. I decided rather out of the blue to ask if she wanted to see me for a movie or drink again. She said yes.
I waited three days (which I heard was the acceptable time to call someone after a good date) before I called her up to schedule another meeting. I told her I had a lot of fun in our meet prior to that in email and left it off at that. She said she was busy with work and didn't know how her schedule was going to be like in the next week. She sounded a little hesitant and nervous while she said that, come to think of it. I said it was alright, and I asked if she would call me back once things come into focus. Almost four days later I got no phone call from her, so I called and left a short message on her voice mail to keep in touch. Finally, yesterday, I had run into her on Google and asked what was wrong. She said she totally forgot about calling me, and that she had contract work on some storyboard for the next week. I told her I was very happy for her, and I didn't want to get in the way of her life. She suggested if we could talk again on Thursday. I thought it was OK and I told her good night and good luck.
Well, 5 min later I looked at her profile again on OK Cupid just out of curiosity, and her relationship status had changed from SINGLE to SEEING SOMEONE. I was panicky at the prospect that I had failed and she had met someone else, or that it could even be me. I clicked on a link in her profile and saw and updated journal where she talked about meeting someone who interested her because they were 'very kinky' in their profile on the same day that I had called and got busy messages. Worse, when I skimmed through her journal, apparently she had made what I believe to be references to some of the events that took place in our date - most notably the length of time it lasted and my behavior. It seems like the whole time she was trying to flake out on me, and while I had suspected it I didn't want to believe. But why would she still want to talk to me on Thursday? Unless she thinks I'm a total idiot, it is obvious that she had treated me pretty callously during the events after the first date. If she is waiting all this time to just 'officially' blow me off, or worse, give me the 'lets just be friends' business, I think I might just hang up on her.
This is depressing. Someone else got chosen over me just because they may have been a better lay in bed. It seems that OK Cupid is great for meeting people, but unless you're some kind of talented sex god with impossibly sharp social observation, you have no chance of hell beyond the first date. Writing this rant has released some of the tension in my system, but I'm beginning to think that I have no hope at all - stuck perpetually in a 'catch 22' zone.
23 Jan 2007, 2:10 pm
