I'm in such a difficult situation...
07 Mar 2014, 4:49 pm
While I am not one to judge before knowing someone, I think it's best that you stay strictly friends and see what occurs.
He could be making out to be something he isn't and have you wrapped around his finger. (He says "jump" you say "how high?")
On the other hand he could be honest... but I'm not sure.
All I will say though is that the first relationship isn't always the last.
_________________
www.wrongplanet.net/postp5013377.html&h ... t=#5013377
Sora: "My friends are my power."
Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me."
08 Mar 2014, 6:22 am
I am acting naive but I am not thinking naively. Deep down I know that there is more chance of what he says being lies than the chances are of it being true, but I seem to be focusing on the small chance that it could be true because I am hearing what I want to hear and wanting to believe it. After all, you never know (which is my new motto at the moment). Very slowly I am having doubts, but then when he rings me up and sounds all charming and promising and comes out with all these possibilities, I suddenly start being optimistic about it again.
I know that he has lied to me loads of times already. Every time we plan to meet (and he promises), something ''happens'', and he acts all angry with his life and goes ''oh every time we meet something happens...'' Like last week he was meant to be off from work and had promised he'll see me, and when I heard that I had that funny feeling, so I said, ''are you sure? I mean, you won't let anything get in the way this time?'' and he was like ''yes, I promise nothing will get in the way. I am entitled to those days off work, they have to let me have them, and all I want to do is see you in my time off.'' I still had a funny feeling about that, but the way he said made me think ''perhaps we will actually get to be with each other this time.'' But about two weeks before this holiday from work, he suddenly rang me and said, ''I am really annoyed, I can't have my week off now, they are so short-staffed at work that they have put me down to work. The boss said he will pay me for my holiday days as well as working days so I will be getting extra.'' I didn't know whether to believe that or not. And then last week was the week he was supposed to have off, and he hadn't rang me all week, and normally he does ring me during his lunch-breaks or when he's coming home from work. So yeh, that sounds very upsetting.
I am thinking about suicide, because all of my cousins and friends have a boyfriend or girlfriend now, and I feel like my chances of meeting a man is going nowhere, as I am shy, unconfident, ugly and weird. f**k my life I want to f*****g die.
_________________
Yes I am a straight female.
From East UK
Aged 25
08 Mar 2014, 6:39 am
This is a mistake we all often make. We know how bad we want something, and we typically ignore the consequences when we want it bad enough. I know how hard being hopelessly lonely can be, but settling only complicates things. When you go into a situation like this knowing it's most likely not going to work out, it usually doesn't. The slight "what if" I found is usually a bunch of made up scenarios in our head we put there to overlook the highly obvious fact that it won't work out. Wishful thinking, if you will.
Then stop talking to him. Frequent liars are the ones you need to stay far, far, far away from. The more you believe them, or even pretend to believe them like I'm sure you could be doing, the more they happen, and the more they try to take advantage of you. I'm speaking from experience, as both the liar and the one being lied to - if you really like someone, you don't need to tell these lies. You don't need to lie about plans, you don't suddenly need to make excuses like those. They are almost never legitimate.
It's again the wishful thinking. The side of you that wants him to like you and the side of you that doesn't want to be lonely believes that. Is it really believable? If someone wants to see you bad enough, they will. I work 5pm-5am, 6 days a week, if I want to see someone I really like, I can and will. He wants to have his cake and eat it too, as cheesey as it sounds - he makes a bullshit excuse to not see you, then butters you up to make you feel good about it. Old trick.
I know how hard it is to feel this way, I've been there (granted, I'm male) I assure you staying lonely and waiting for the right person is ten fold better than settling for someone who is just trying to take advantage of you. I've settled for people I found myself to be VERY incompatible with because I was lonely and well, mutual attraction I guess. I found both times it happened, I wish I stayed lonely. It just created drama, caused us both to get hurt, there was never trust or communication. On the bright side, I'm wiser for it, though.
_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.
08 Mar 2014, 8:03 am
I know that he has lied to me loads of times already. Every time we plan to meet (and he promises), something ''happens'', and he acts all angry with his life and goes ''oh every time we meet something happens...'' Like last week he was meant to be off from work and had promised he'll see me, and when I heard that I had that funny feeling, so I said, ''are you sure? I mean, you won't let anything get in the way this time?'' and he was like ''yes, I promise nothing will get in the way. I am entitled to those days off work, they have to let me have them, and all I want to do is see you in my time off.'' I still had a funny feeling about that, but the way he said made me think ''perhaps we will actually get to be with each other this time.'' But about two weeks before this holiday from work, he suddenly rang me and said, ''I am really annoyed, I can't have my week off now, they are so short-staffed at work that they have put me down to work. The boss said he will pay me for my holiday days as well as working days so I will be getting extra.'' I didn't know whether to believe that or not. And then last week was the week he was supposed to have off, and he hadn't rang me all week, and normally he does ring me during his lunch-breaks or when he's coming home from work. So yeh, that sounds very upsetting.
I am thinking about suicide, because all of my cousins and friends have a boyfriend or girlfriend now, and I feel like my chances of meeting a man is going nowhere, as I am shy, unconfident, ugly and weird. f**k my life I want to f***ing die.
It's natural that you feel the way you do but 886 is correct.
While you may hold on for one person, there are other opportunities you don't see because you are caught up in one person. Anyone can be guilty of not seeing other possibilities instead of fixating on one person.
You should be thinking that you don't need someone in your life and that when the time arises, it will be better.
No-one can make you happy except yourself. You need to be happy with yourself and inside yourself.
At the moment, you aren't ready to be in love because you need to love and respect yourself. Saying that you want to die isn't gonna help you find a relationship but you can make steps to improve your self-esteem and self-worth.
_________________
www.wrongplanet.net/postp5013377.html&h ... t=#5013377
Sora: "My friends are my power."
Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me."
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