theres lots of questions i want to ask about dating so......

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dylan760
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04 Jul 2014, 10:46 am

this might be one of the stupidest questions i have ever asked

i have am 17 (turning 18 in September) an aspie and there have been alot of times where i want to approach someone but i always coward out

1.how do you approach someone in a public place (like the shops, game arcade, or maybe even an anime convention)

2.if she gives me her phone number what do i do after that? Do i keep the conversation going or what?

3.if i ask the girl out what do i do after that?

4.when should i kiss the girl first?

5. how do i know when ive reached the girlfriend stage?

please help me ive never dated anyone before and i don't want to screw up when i start

update:i would also like to point out that i had screwed up with a girl who had a crush on me



FrankiDelano
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04 Jul 2014, 11:21 am

This is coming from someone whose never dated, but this is what most who have experience dating have told me.

1. Just walk up to her, she's a human being not a Wendigo, she's not gonna rip your skin off if she doesn't like you. As for what to say just talk about what made you interested in talking to her in the first place (how she looks, what she was doing, etc.)

2. depending on how much time you both have left, most people exchange numbers as they are about to depart. If not then I guess you can talk about when you might want to see each other next.

3. Make plans.

4. Can't answer this one.

5. You will both acknowledge each others love. Sometimes after you have sex, sometimes before.

Like I said though I am in the exact same situation you are, I'm 20, gonna be 21 this October and I've never asked out, kissed, or been intimate with a woman before. Honestly I've tried everything I've told you, but I have warranted no success. That won't stop me from trying though, and that's the big picture is that love is chaotic and you never really know at what moment you are going to share a strong connection with someone that they share back; it could be tomorrow, a year, or maybe even never I can't really say. Just go out there and try, that's literally the best thing you can do, and you should do it in a way you are comfortable with.

Also body language, and how you say something (inflection, and the words you use) will give people a good idea of the kind of person you are. I learned from speech class that it's about 50/50 what you say, and how you say it, when you want to give someone a lasting impression.



Cafeaulait
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04 Jul 2014, 12:08 pm

1.how do you approach someone in a public place (like the shops, game arcade, or maybe even an anime convention)
Don't approach them randomly out on the street. Most girls find that really annoying. If you're going to approach them at an arcade or shops, when you get close just ask something alone the lines of: 'hey, have you ever played this game? what do you think of it?'. There are so many ways to start a conversation, really. If you're at an anime convention, you can use this theme to spark up a conversation. If so many people are dressed op as Sailor Moon you can use that to start a conversation for example and be like: 'Hi, wow, I can tell we're so unique here, there's so many people dressed op like Sailor Moon'. Really, there are so many ways.

2.if she gives me her phone number what do i do after that? Do i keep the conversation going or what?
If she gives you her phone number she probably won't do it in the middle of a conversation, but in the end. So usually this is not of matter.

3.if i ask the girl out what do i do after that?
Wait for her answer. Again, this is usually something you do at the end of a conversation. If you do it in the beginning, and she says no, this might leave the conversation very awkward. If she says yes then you can just keep talking because she obviously like you.

4.when should i kiss the girl first?
It's really hard to tell and this perhaps where autistics face the most difficulty. This is something that there is no concrete manual for.
Kiss her when it feels right; when you feel that there is a strong enough connection and when you feel that she is flirting with you or likes you back.
This can be on the first date, but it can also be much latter.

5. how do i know when ive reached the girlfriend stage?

When you've both developed feelings for each other and like to be in each others company and the both if you make efforts and arrangements to keep seeing each other regularly.
Just ask the girl if you are not sure.