Best way to hold the attention of an Aspie male ... anyone?

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I'm socially inept, but it's great if you aren't. Whenever I think I read things correctly, I don't and I end up in trouble. If she always just says what she wants. she won't have to worry about how well he can and can't do this. The problem is going to be when he doesn't get what she's trying to convey and she thinks he does. I'm just trying to help her avoid that.

So, I'm not being harsh to all of you but to myself. As to being scared, she shouldn't be if she can be completely up front and direct (some people can't stand to do this day in and out and that has to do with 80% of NT communication being non-verbal so it's a huge switch to be strictly verbal). I've been married 26 years to a NT so it can be done. All I can tell her is what I know from experience. If it helps great. If not, well, it shouldn't hurt.

Thank you all, you have been incredibly helpful and insightful. I would also like to add that it's not a case of me batting my eyelashes coyly from across the room and expecting him to jump through flaming hoops like a trained puppy. I can't help the way my NT mind functions for the most part, any more than he can help the way his AS mind functions. I have been as direct as is socially acceptable within the bounds of NT interaction, but I do not mind trying to be clearer and more concise.

I especially liked the comment that ZanneMarie made about the brain being a sexual organ. It is very much the same for me. The reason I am so attracted to him is because he is the most openly intellectual person I have ever met.

All of that being said, I will update and let you know how it turns out. Wish me luck!

Yeah no games or other BS, just be direct and blunt about it.

Yes it was a typo, sometimes my fingers get away from me. I meant to say bear.

Touching is a good way to show him you're interested, unless he has an issue with touch. When you talk to him, touch him on his arm or his shoulder as you talk to him. Try to keep it casual and brief, and many aspie guys (including me) find it non-threatening, as opposed to a clearly intentional touch.

Aspies are as varied as NT's when it comes to this sort of thing, I think...but being almost always direct does help, as does taking the initiative. A lot of aspies are kinda shy and insecure due to past rejections and it could be he isn't sure if you're interested in being anything but friends with him, if that--so be very upfront about how you feel and take the initiative...maybe ask him to some event you think he'd like (but it helps to ask him if he'd like it first, just to be sure).

Good luck!

Perhaps you are not showing your breasts to the right person calandale.