Are women's standards really this high?

Page 1 of 12 [ 188 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 12  Next

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

31 Dec 2016, 9:01 am

Don't focus on all the things other people want and don't want. Look for someone who wants what you want.. If you don't want to travel, don't date women who want to travel. Simples. Someone who likes to travel won't be compatible with a homebody.



Chichikov
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2016
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,151
Location: UK

31 Dec 2016, 10:37 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Remember, that while I'm 29, the author is 25. She's 4 years younger yet she seems to have much more life experience than me.

Don't be so sure about that :D That is just a list of cliches, more importantly a list of black cliches. It's not immediately obvious from the article (especially as she uses a white woman in the picture) but the author is black and is one of those people who are perpetually offended. Anyone who does nothing but immerse themselves in a certain kind of culture and literature could come up with that list by simply recycling the same complaints that are listed everywhere without ever having had a single relationship their whole life.



screen_name
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,315

31 Dec 2016, 11:51 am

Not having a passport is not *remotely* a deal breaker for me. I don't enjoy traveling either.

With that said, I married at 21 and am still happily married to the same man (I'm 34 now). He does-and did-have a passport at the time. I suppose we did go out of the country for our honeymoon, but as I said...I really don't like traveling. I enjoy hearing about other places, but not having to deal with all the sensory stuff and crowds is definitely preferable.

My husband has had to add extra pages to his passport more than once. However, HE travels for his job. He goes everywhere (seriously everywhere). And I'm more than happy to stay at home while he goes.

But--again--the fact that he had a passport or not was not a factor in me dating or marrying him.

And I think the best way/place to meet a partner is while doing something you love to do. (Work and school are other frequent places to find a mate.) So, what do you like to do?

This random internet person likes to travel. So. That doesn't mean you have to to find someone.


_________________
So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash

31 Dec 2016, 12:14 pm

How is needing travel for leisure different from what is deemed materialism? I would say that feeling that is an ingrained character trait is more a perspective of privilege but saying that I suppose it is probably true that people of similar privileges and backgrounds probably see themselves as more compatible with each other.

I've never left the country because I didn't grow up with money, a vacation for me was seeing relatives in Illinois not visiting the south of France. I've considered getting a passport recently but it's for less glamorous and more utilitarian reasons, I live near the border and medical/dental are a lot cheaper in Mexico than they are in America. I think Europeans need to keep in perspective how large of a country the US is in comparison, you can travel a lot and never leave the country. Personally I find the kind of 'travel' culture typified by the Travel Channel and Yelp generation to be sort of shallow and self indulgent.



Luhluhluh
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Dec 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 755

31 Dec 2016, 12:28 pm

Getting dating advice from the Frisky is just like getting it from reading Cosmo back in the day.

In other words, don't put too much stock into it.


_________________
That which does not kill us makes us stranger.


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,461
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

31 Dec 2016, 12:45 pm

It would seem that specific woman does really have those high of standards, though I thought some of them were reasonable . I myself certainly don't care about passports, neither me or my boyfriend have one and it hasn't effected our relationship.


_________________
We won't go back.


Luhluhluh
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Dec 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 755

31 Dec 2016, 12:52 pm

You know, for the post part, what this writer is saying is that she does not want to date men who are:

1. Angry
2. Egotistical/arrogant
3. Selfish/self-centered
4. Immature

There are a few items she brought up that don't really make a lot of sense, but, hey, we all have our preferences (not having a passport; not being able to fix things, for example)

But most of her items are pretty basic and repetitive and can be summed up in the four categories I mentioned above. No one can fault her for that.


_________________
That which does not kill us makes us stranger.


Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash

31 Dec 2016, 1:23 pm

Luhluhluh wrote:
You know, for the post part, what this writer is saying is that she does not want to date men who are:

1. Angry
2. Egotistical/arrogant
3. Selfish/self-centered
4. Immature

There are a few items she brought up that don't really make a lot of sense, but, hey, we all have our preferences (not having a passport; not being able to fix things, for example)

But most of her items are pretty basic and repetitive and can be summed up in the four categories I mentioned above. No one can fault her for that.


I would say the author demonstrates all those characteristics. A lot of the list is just demanding you agree with SJW nonsense which probably should be expected on a website like 'The Frisky', to summarize not agreeing with all of their dogma as one of those 4 things I think is not fair and giving this writer way too much credit. Few are obvious, no s**t she doesn't like pathological liars or predators and others are stupid filler for the article. These websites are typified by clickbait lists like this, best not to give much attention to something like this since I don't think there was a lot of time or thought put into it.



blackicmenace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2016
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,465
Location: Sagittarius A

31 Dec 2016, 1:36 pm

Sounds superficial and petty and I wouldn't be interested in someone that would prejudge someone with insignificant prerequisites as having a passport that could be easily resolved. How can you know who someone is inside from the outside? You can make as many assumptions as you want about me from outside appearance, but I promise you will never know me if you don't take the time to find out.


_________________
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell


blackicmenace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2016
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,465
Location: Sagittarius A

31 Dec 2016, 2:07 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I think #11 is ridiculous. I don't see how it's even important to have one if you aren't traveling out of the country. Mine expired 3 years ago. I let it expire because I can't afford to travel out of the country. If I want to go to Canada, I am going to have to get a passport again.


Here's an example why this type of information is irrelevant. My brother which went 44 years of his life without a passport recently got engaged after finally finding the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Guess what he recently got? She wants to travel and visit places around the world and he can't wait to travel the world with the person he loves.


_________________
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

31 Dec 2016, 2:55 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I think #11 is ridiculous. I don't see how it's even important to have one if you aren't traveling out of the country. Mine expired 3 years ago. I let it expire because I can't afford to travel out of the country. If I want to go to Canada, I am going to have to get a passport again.


Here's an example why this type of information is irrelevant. My brother which went 44 years of his life without a passport recently got engaged after finally finding the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Guess what he recently got? She wants to travel and visit places around the world and he can't wait to travel the world with the person he loves.



This is the time to get a passport then.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


blackicmenace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2016
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,465
Location: Sagittarius A

31 Dec 2016, 3:16 pm

League_Girl wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I think #11 is ridiculous. I don't see how it's even important to have one if you aren't traveling out of the country. Mine expired 3 years ago. I let it expire because I can't afford to travel out of the country. If I want to go to Canada, I am going to have to get a passport again.


Here's an example why this type of information is irrelevant. My brother which went 44 years of his life without a passport recently got engaged after finally finding the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Guess what he recently got? She wants to travel and visit places around the world and he can't wait to travel the world with the person he loves.



This is the time to get a passport then.


Imagine if she wrote him off because he did not have one when she met him. If she didn't get to know him she wouldn't have found out he always liked the idea of traveling, she just gave him a good reason to act on it.


_________________
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell


starkid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

31 Dec 2016, 3:18 pm

I've noticed the zillions of womyn on OkC who all seem to be super into traveling around the world. In fact, I've been thinking about making a post about what seems like a group of class-privileged womyn on the Internet.

Not having a passport doesn't make you immature.

But referring to every womyn who expresses an even vaguely anti-oppression stance as an "SJW" maybe is immature, or at least ignorant. Not talking about you, OP.



Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash

31 Dec 2016, 3:44 pm

starkid wrote:
I've noticed the zillions of womyn on OkC who all seem to be super into traveling around the world. In fact, I've been thinking about making a post about what seems like a group of class-privileged womyn on the Internet.

Not having a passport doesn't make you immature.

But referring to every womyn who expresses an even vaguely anti-oppression stance as an "SJW" maybe is immature, or at least ignorant. Not talking about you, OP.


Anti-oppression is kind of a loaded term don't you think? I just don't care to be lectured about how 'All Lives Matters' is offensive by very sheltered and very privileged white girls who are taking their first sociology class. People like to throw around labels, SJWs are especially obsessed with 'identity' so it doesn't make a lot of sense to me for them recoil so much from being called that since the reputation is totally earned.

As for the observation about travel, I'm glad that there are other people that notices this as well. I don't really see it as all that different from desiring a man who will buy them lots of jewelry or fancy clothes, they try to play it off like it's some open minded thing that makes them a better person for doing it but it seems like the epitome of self indulgence to me. People that travel internationally a lot tend to be very snobbish about it for some reason.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

31 Dec 2016, 3:53 pm

I had to click the article to see if it indicated where she was from as I believe it's highly geographical to have that criteria. Sounds like she's from any-small-town USA. I can kind of see how that's an indicator of maturity, financial success, responsibility etc. However, what you need to remind yourself is that chances are she's not talking about taking a 5-star European dream vacation on a whim. She lives in the USA where there are some pretty cheap domestic flights that will take you away from the middle-of-nowhere-with-nothing-to-see-or-do to either a big city or a hot tropical place for pretty cheap. Like.. on a really good flight sale one can buy a ticket to Las Vegas for LESS than the price of a steak dinner out. Or a ticket to NYC for the price of a dinner & movie date for two. Sure, then there are hotel costs etc.. but my point is that weekend getaways by plane CAN cost mere hundreds of dollars, not thousands, depending on where you live.

I've travelled by airplane twice (and helicopter once! :D) and the tickets from Blaine, Washington State, to Las Vegas, Nevada, cost $89usd each way. A friend went to Vegas the same weekend and bought a one way ticket from the same discount airline for $21usd. Tickets to Mexico can be cheap, too. Whereas here at home, flying out of Vancouver, BC, Canada is among the MOST expensive places to fly out of in the entire world - so, lower working class locals almost NEVER fly for vacations here. We take road trips and go camping - which is often preferable, anyways, since we live in one of the most beautiful scenic places on the planet. I have a passport.. sort of - I realized recently that it expired about a year and a half ago lol and I only got it so I could attend a family gathering a stone's throw South of the border, and then have only really used it to be able to cross into Washington state to buy fuel for 30% cheaper than here at home as well as to pick up parcels ordered from Amazon.com etc. Now that Trump is about to be president and the USA is about to legalize homophobic discrimination, as a matter of silent protest & not wanting to spend one red cent in their country under his administration's ideals I may not renew my passport at all and may not bother crossing the border at all for the next 4-8 years even. Time will tell. But then again, I might just renew it and take a trip to the Dominican Republic to go kiteboarding or something.

As an Aspie, having a passport is a matter of practical logistics. If I need one I'll go get it again. If I have no intentions of doing anything with it besides letting it expire in a drawer, then I'll save the money. I haven't ever really caught the "travel bug" and felt a need to go fly away. I used to be jealous of others who could afford it, but, not that I can afford it I still don't care about it and would prefer to save my money towards other goals. IF I ever feel the urge to just up and fly away somewhere warm I guess I'll do it then.. so many people go to Mexico or Hawaii or something like that in the Winter time, but I'm here in the cold rain and snow waiting for Spring & Summer here all like "meh, this weather will pass.. I'd rather keep my money than blow it on a week or two vacation that'll also cost me an additional week or two's wages."

So, yeah, I kinda get her point.. IF you live where travel is cheap! Like so many discount airlines in the USA or throughout Europe or Asia where it doesn't cost an arm and a leg and your first born for an airplane ticket.. but living here where I do where the most common financial situation for our generation is living extremely paycheque to paycheque just making rent and barely buying food and not being able to afford a car on the road.. people do NOT have the same expectations of others being able to travel on a whim unless they are in a very well paid job. Sure, there are dating snobs like that - apparently Vancouver is notorious for high strung women who "require" their potential dates to be earning $100K+ or own a home in the city (Millions) etc but w/e that's a world I don't live in and am glad I don't even visit!!


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,293

31 Dec 2016, 6:56 pm

Reminds me of a few years back when I was in the middle of trying online dating for the second time. I started a thread I believe titled "what is with women's obsession with travel?". EVERY SINGLE profile I looked at mention loving travel, most mentioned that their passport was their favourite possession and nearly all of them had pictures of them at Machu Picchu, the Great Wall of China or the Golden Gate Bridge. I was so frustrated I once yelled out "are there any $@#$@# women who want to do ANYTHING but travel the world?" I was even beginning to suspect these were fake profiles until I actually met a couple of them.

I even once asked a date who worked a basic job flat out "how the heck can you afford to take several international trips a year?" She was obviously offended but I didn't care: it was obvious she was up to her eyeballs in debt and guess who would have been paying those bills off? Sure I would have loved to travel the world but I am not rich and value financial stability. There must be a God because I later met someone who said within minutes of the first meeting "I have never married, never engaged and I don't like to travel". I didn't wait long to marry her!

As my wife pointed out, it's funny how these types of women have such long laundry lists but never mention what they have to offer. No wonder they are chronically single!!