Are women's standards really this high?

Page 4 of 12 [ 188 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ... 12  Next

Outrider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2014
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,007
Location: Australia

01 Jan 2017, 8:42 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Outrider wrote:
Anyway, riddle me this, goldfish: Why does it appear that there tends to be far more young men complaining they are lonely and single than women on the internet?


As someone else pointed out, internet forums are male dominated, just like video games, sports, and other male things. So there are a lot more guys online to begin with.

Then there's the simple evolutionary biological fact that it's males who compete for females. Also, it's a bigger deal to a guy to be single/foreveralone/not getting laid etc than it is for a woman, in general. Women tend to not care about being single or not getting laid nearly as much as males, period. I think it has to do with biology and physiological needs. Guys want sex/pleasure etc whereas women are more about the emotional connection vs. physical gratification, and are willing to wait longer for it to come along vs. complain about not finding a mate.

So many reasons.. I think they're all valid. It's just one big compound effect of all of these factors that make way more guys whine online about not getting any.


Men don't just want sex/pleasure though, they want love to. It's just, admittedly, men approach it in a far more efficient way.

The.male.method is essentially: see woman we are attracted to (doesn't have to.be model looking or anything), approach her, get a date, and get to know her on said dates. Ask if she wants to be in a relationship. Use online dating to increase chances, be on the lookout for compatible female acquaintances.

Women do the male method too but it appears more rare to me. The female method appears to be: Wait until man your interested in asks you out, either by giving him signs you're interested, or not due to shyness and just passively being there. Perhaps ask.him out yourself (much rarer) or just get on with your life and be friends with both men and women until either you hit it off with a friend of friend or after 2-8 years+ possibly but not guaranteed develop feelings for your best.male friens, who has probably had feelings for you since mere months inp the friendship as in my experience when a man and woman are just friends most of the.time the male WILL developed feelings or be open to a relationship or aex if she we're to simply ask while when a woman sees a man as just as friend, she really sees him as just a friend. There is zero attraction on her part whatsoever, never was and likely never will be. Use online dating to increase chances.

Some men appear active in dating, ad some.women reactive.

Some Men cant just get on with their lives as many of us see love as a big part of it, it IS living our lives to just live our life while simultaneously seeking love

Some women just get on with their loves as they appear happy to be single.

Some men want to find love, some women want to wait for love to find them.

And guess which one makes.me think who in general appears places far.more value into relationships and gives the illusion of wanting love far more at least in the short term?

I completely agree with absolutely everything else you say, word for word.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

01 Jan 2017, 9:19 pm

How's the wrist doing?



Kiprobalhato
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2014
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,119
Location: מתחת לעננים

02 Jan 2017, 3:25 am

white_as_snow wrote:
if some of us lonely guys lived in 1950 we would have a wife and 2 kids.


things that are certain: worry of the current day being the last before earth is consumed in nuclear fire, education and living standards behind today's, possible social safety net not comparable to that seen today, lack of creature comforts taken for granted, risk of polio, risk of smallpox

things that are not certain: any one of today's modern loners having a wife and two kids


be careful of which you desire.


_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

02 Jan 2017, 3:59 am

white_as_snow wrote:
well some few females have low standards but its like 00000.1 %.

its the new generation females that are like this, the older generation females did not have so big standards.

if some of us lonely guys lived in 1950 we would have a wife and 2 kids.
True.

And if some of us aspies lived in the 1950s, we'd be far worse off.

First of all we'd have no diagnosis or treatment and second of all the 1950s culture was ultra-macho. I don't think some of us nerdy guys could thrive in that.

Maybe I've got better odds in 2016 where I can be a respected IT worker instead of in 1950 where I'd probably be unemployed.

The 1950s was a dark time for nerds. Without computers I'd have nothing to do. Some of us with social anxiety would feel very cut off from the world without the internet.

Back then it was socially acceptable for tough guys to bully nerds. Guess who the girls liked? Not the nerds. They liked the tough guys. Nowadays girls have more respect for computer nerds with stable employment.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Kiprobalhato
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2014
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,119
Location: מתחת לעננים

02 Jan 2017, 4:22 am

i'm sure there was lots of demand for IT 60 years ago, too.

you work on different things, clearly, but working towards advancements in technology is huge, and always has been.

are you an IT worker? what do you do?


_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

02 Jan 2017, 4:31 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
i'm sure there was lots of demand for IT 60 years ago, too.
Not when there were only a few dozen computers in the world
Kiprobalhato wrote:
are you an IT worker?
Yes.
Kiprobalhato wrote:
what do you do?
I analyze software specifications and write test cases to confirm that all the changes have been properly implemented, then I record the results. If the results don't match spec I have to consider factors such as the spec writers intent and the possibility of user error before I raise a spec with the business analyst. In some cases the defect is with the spec itself, rather than the software.

At the moment I'm working on a Sharepoint database as a side project.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Last edited by RetroGamer87 on 02 Jan 2017, 4:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

314pe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2014
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,013

02 Jan 2017, 4:34 am

It's unsurprising that traveling is so popular. People are lazy and traveling is the laziest hobby ever.



Kiprobalhato
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2014
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,119
Location: מתחת לעננים

02 Jan 2017, 4:55 am

^ how does someone come to that conclusion?


_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


314pe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2014
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,013

02 Jan 2017, 5:11 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
^ how does someone come to that conclusion?

Unlike most other hobbies, travelling does not require you to do any activity. Hotel deals with your living situation, restaurant deals with your meals, tour guide deals with any information you need to know. Any activity is optional.

Unlike, for example, jogging, where you need to do the action yourself.



Lunella
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2016
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,067
Location: Yorkshire, UK

02 Jan 2017, 5:12 am

League_Girl wrote:
Lunella wrote:
The article was kind of cringeworthy tbh. She over exaggerates. I bet half of her relationships weren't even that bad.
She reminds me of those Buzzfeed people who act like something is waaay worse than it actually is.

But no, womens standards are no where near that high unless they're fussy like this woman clearly is. She was right on a few of the types of men you'll bump into as a woman, like as an example the man baby/mamas boy she was sort of accurate with but like exaggerated a little. Sometimes that isn't even a bad thing depending on the circumstances, but ofc if their mother is interfering in every aspect then it's a bit weird. She gives no detailed context in how they were bad to her because half of these guys could be on different levels of the groups she's put them into.

I think she was too brief in some of the points she made. If she'd have gone into proper detail of the men she had to deal with then it would make a lot more sense I think because she is generalizing a lot and teaching other women to do the same which is pretty horrible really.



I am not sure what her experience was wit those type of guys but I have noticed that people will make ridiculous standards when they have had a bad experience with someone who had that characteristic. Like someone didn't want to date anyone who is a musician because her ex was one and he would keep her up at night with his music and do it all the time and it would give her a headache and he would go "if you accept me and really care about my hobby, you will let me do it." I told her that was just an as*hole and nothing to do with being a musician and even other musicians chimed in trying to reassure her not all of them are that way and they rent a spot to practice their hobby so they are not disturbing anyone. I have seen people say how they will never date a gamer just because someone they were with only wanted to play games and ignored them and never did anything else so other people were telling her that was just a gaming addict.

Mine was I didn't want to date anyone who is always playing on their computer and doesn't have a job and doesn't drive because of my bad experience with one of my ex's but then I met my husband and changed my mind.


So they basically put people into categories or like labels of gamer/musician/whatever and then put a big naive stamp on it saying bad and then never bother with other people of those labels despite the fact they are completely different people? haha

I agree with you though, it seems to be the case with this girl that wrote the article.


_________________
The term Aspergers is no longer officially used in the UK - it is now regarded as High Functioning Autism.


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

02 Jan 2017, 5:36 am

She sure does like putting people into categories. It's rather dehumanising.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

02 Jan 2017, 5:39 am

314pe wrote:
Unlike most other hobbies, travelling does not require you to do any activity. Hotel deals with your living situation, restaurant deals with your meals, tour guide deals with any information you need to know. Any activity is optional.
This is why I love being waited on while I'm flying but hate going through airports.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

02 Jan 2017, 5:46 am

314pe wrote:
Kiprobalhato wrote:
^ how does someone come to that conclusion?

Unlike most other hobbies, travelling does not require you to do any activity. Hotel deals with your living situation, restaurant deals with your meals, tour guide deals with any information you need to know. Any activity is optional.

Unlike, for example, jogging, where you need to do the action yourself.


That's a naive way of viewing it. Not all travelling is like that. You have to carefully plan it and when you are there yoy have to make efforts to learn local culture and language. Especially as an aspie you have to be brave to go to new places and meet new people

I enjoy travelling but would never put someone down for not wanting to.

Also you could jog to the gate at the airport :P



314pe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2014
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,013

02 Jan 2017, 5:59 am

Alliekit wrote:
314pe wrote:
Kiprobalhato wrote:
^ how does someone come to that conclusion?

Unlike most other hobbies, travelling does not require you to do any activity. Hotel deals with your living situation, restaurant deals with your meals, tour guide deals with any information you need to know. Any activity is optional.

Unlike, for example, jogging, where you need to do the action yourself.


That's a naive way of viewing it. Not all travelling is like that. You have to carefully plan it and when you are there yoy have to make efforts to learn local culture and language. Especially as an aspie you have to be brave to go to new places and meet new people

I enjoy travelling but would never put someone down for not wanting to.

Also you could jog to the gate at the airport :P

I didn't say traveling can't be active, but, unlike many other activities, it doesn't have to be active. You can always rely on someone else to make all the arrangements and you could find an interpreter to talk for you. But you can't pay someone to jog for you.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

02 Jan 2017, 6:28 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
white_as_snow wrote:
if some of us lonely guys lived in 1950 we would have a wife and 2 kids.


things that are certain: worry of the current day being the last before earth is consumed in nuclear fire, education and living standards behind today's, possible social safety net not comparable to that seen today, lack of creature comforts taken for granted, risk of polio, risk of smallpox

things that are not certain: any one of today's modern loners having a wife and two kids


be careful of which you desire.


In the 1950s I could worked in a repetitive factory job making good money, which would attracted women a,one with my kind personality. My granpa was an aspie. He got a wife and 4 kids. I doubt he would have today. He was able to serv in the military. Aspies can't serve today. Repetitive factory jobs don't exist anymore. Life would been a lot better for me then.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

02 Jan 2017, 6:38 am

The risk of polio and smallpox only occurs if the anti-vaxxers have their way.