Red flags in dating? Early stages

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None of my ex's were smokers to be honest but if anyone smells like smoke, red flag because I know that there are smokers that do smoke in their house and car so if that is how they smell, that is how their home and car smells too. I know of smokers who do smoke but their homes do not smell that way nor their clothes because they do it outside or in the smoking room. But the rest were my personal experience except my ex's room was a mess because he lived with his parents and the rest of the house was normal because his parents cleaned it.

Even as a smoker I hate the smell, it's why I go outside
I have medicine to help quit but it intensifies your mood aaaand let's just say now isn't the best time

These are the ones that would really worry me. This indicates a lack of respect for you and your needs. These would also indicate a possibility of an abuser.

I used to talk to a guy online who was still an underage teen at the time and I was 18 and he always dictated how I felt and seemed to be in charge of my feelings like if I told him he was making me uncomfortable, he would tell me I wasn't feel anything and he wouldn't let me quit talking to him because he would quit coming back and get nasty with me for blocking him and telling me to quit it. Totally a creep and a narcissist and I also felt he was emotionally violent. I say he stalked me because he wouldn't leave me alone because he would contact me under different screen names and he was like a virus I couldn't get rid of. I also felt he didn't take me seriously because anything about me was cute and I also couldn't set boundaries with this person because he would violate them and then blame it on Asperger's and he wasn't even diagnosed. He self diagnosed and got worse after that and started this behavior which is why I never bought into the aspie thing and I didn't have this issue with them anyway except him and I never bought he had it. Now that my friend is a textbook example of why lot of people hate the self diagnosed aspies and say they use it as an excuse.

No she's not saying the red flag was that her ex was showing kindness, she means her ex said to her that every guy who showed her kindness was trying to get in her pants. He was saying this out of jealousy and possessiveness which are red flags.

- if he says no one else will love you apart from him
- if he calls you ugly and makes you feel bad about yourself
- if he tells you you cant get anyone else

Thanks you all. Confirms I'm not bonkers myself... and probably dodged a bullet before the really scary stuff reared its head.
Really. A lot of people are incredibly skilled at fooling others. Wish I knew how to notice it from the get go.

Hurtloam, totally on point there.
Feral botanist, I suspected this but wasn't sure...
League girl, sounds like textbook narcissism tbh. Sorry that happened to you...
Alliekit that's scary stuff...

My cousin looks really young and innocent so she has been caught up in bad things twice. These are things she has been told constantly and she believes it.

I think all women should know that a boyfriend saying things like that isnt normal

If they ask for favors and hesitate to return any, always expect you to pay for stuff, only ever tell you what you want to hear, ignore texts, send you their nudes and tell you not to tell their boyfriends or husbands f*****g lol it's no wonder I've lost all romanticism or respect for anyone anymore

hahahahah funny rape joke.

You really need to stop shouting in empty rooms.

- Listing a lot of red flags on a forum.

lol

Lots of male friends on social media
pic comments from male friends
taking long to text back
having a lot of male friends
smoking
has been in "an open relationship"
States they're a socialist while texting from their iPhone
Didn't have a good relationship with their father
history of dating abusive men
likes going to bars and clubs

^
What's wrong with going to bars and clubs?

You need to stop making rape jokes that aren't funny. Serial rapists often have kit bags with such materials in them, and that is not fodder for hilarity. It's not a joke, it's a real horror for many rape victims.