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Red flags in dating? Early stages

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blackicmenace
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11 Jan 2017, 2:53 pm

Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He has his red flags; you have your red flags - why are you all attacking him?

He's not your boyfriend.


Here I am adding one:

Implying what others' red flags should be and shouldn't be is a red flag for me :p.


She didn't attack him, she said he has trust issues which is true.

It's funny how you chime in on every thread.


If you are not willing to accept constructive criticism maybe you shouldn't post on a public forum. As they say, the truth hurts sometimes.


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Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 2:57 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He has his red flags; you have your red flags - why are you all attacking him?

He's not your boyfriend.


Here I am adding one:

Implying what others' red flags should be and shouldn't be is a red flag for me :p.


She didn't attack him, she said he has trust issues which is true.

It's funny how you chime in on every thread.


If you are not willing to accept constructive criticism maybe you shouldn't post on a public forum. As they say, the truth hurts sometimes.

It's obvious that you are white knighting, which is again common in this forum. As for constructive criticism, you haven't been constructive at all. All you are doing is attacking me when I have an argument with a female member.



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11 Jan 2017, 2:59 pm

Why can't we all just be nice to one another and not assume the worst??



blackicmenace
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11 Jan 2017, 3:00 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
White knighting is a red flag :lol:


I will happily accept that designation. I have always spoken my mind and helped those who are bullied or look like they need help.


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Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 3:01 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
White knighting is a red flag :lol:


I will happily accept that designation. I have always spoken my mind and helped those who are bullied or look like they need help.

So these women are weak and thus need your help, because they cannot defend themselves?



nurseangela
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11 Jan 2017, 3:02 pm

Hexen wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Hexen wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Hexen wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
^
What's wrong with going to bars and clubs?

Being in an environment where there are many people drinking a mind altering substance that affects judgment. Willfully putting yourself in that environment and allowing yourself to get drunk around strangers. Okay if you go as a couple, not so much going alone if you're in a relationship.


What if you are out with a group of friends?

If you get drunk willingly around strangers, or friends and your partner is not around; you put yourself in a bad situation to cheat. "I'm sorry I cheated on you, I was drunk." This goes for either sex. The only exception to this, is if you drink with family over a relatives house. Party girls are not good girlfriends.


If someone cannot go out for a drink with friends without their S.O without being at risk of cheating, then I'd say there are some deeper problems in the relationship...as I think most in relationships can handle some drinks without being at risk of cheating on their partner.

It's a red flag to me and I've NEVER seen a relationship where a women likes to go bar hopping last; not once.


I also agree with this. I can't stand the atmosphere and I thought that most Aspies wouldn't either because of all the noise. Anyone going to the bar really still wants to be single and play the field, IMO.

A Hunny + the bar scene = :thumbdown:


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Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 3:03 pm

nurseangela wrote:
Hexen wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Hexen wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Hexen wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
^
What's wrong with going to bars and clubs?

Being in an environment where there are many people drinking a mind altering substance that affects judgment. Willfully putting yourself in that environment and allowing yourself to get drunk around strangers. Okay if you go as a couple, not so much going alone if you're in a relationship.


What if you are out with a group of friends?

If you get drunk willingly around strangers, or friends and your partner is not around; you put yourself in a bad situation to cheat. "I'm sorry I cheated on you, I was drunk." This goes for either sex. The only exception to this, is if you drink with family over a relatives house. Party girls are not good girlfriends.


If someone cannot go out for a drink with friends without their S.O without being at risk of cheating, then I'd say there are some deeper problems in the relationship...as I think most in relationships can handle some drinks without being at risk of cheating on their partner.

It's a red flag to me and I've NEVER seen a relationship where a women likes to go bar hopping last; not once.


I also agree with this. I can't stand the atmosphere and I thought that most Aspies wouldn't either because of all the noise. Anyone going to the bar really still wants to be single and play the field, IMO.

A Hunny + the bar scene = :thumbdown:

Thank you! See, I told you there are women who ACTUALLY agree with me. I guess you don't speak for all women after all, Luhluhluh.



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11 Jan 2017, 3:05 pm

Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
White knighting is a red flag :lol:


I will happily accept that designation. I have always spoken my mind and helped those who are bullied or look like they need help.

So these women are weak and thus need your help, because they cannot defend themselves?

Yeah. I think men and women should be able to debate on a forum without any sort of intervention or nannying.


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blackicmenace
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11 Jan 2017, 3:05 pm

Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He has his red flags; you have your red flags - why are you all attacking him?

He's not your boyfriend.


Here I am adding one:

Implying what others' red flags should be and shouldn't be is a red flag for me :p.


She didn't attack him, she said he has trust issues which is true.

It's funny how you chime in on every thread.


If you are not willing to accept constructive criticism maybe you shouldn't post on a public forum. As they say, the truth hurts sometimes.

It's obvious that you are white knighting, which is again common in this forum. As for constructive criticism, you haven't been constructive at all. All you are doing is attacking me when I have an argument with a female member.


You don't have to believe you have trust issues. I simply agree with her assessment. To us, it sounds like you do. It's not an attack. I am not looking for an argument, I won't reply.


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Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 3:10 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He has his red flags; you have your red flags - why are you all attacking him?

He's not your boyfriend.


Here I am adding one:

Implying what others' red flags should be and shouldn't be is a red flag for me :p.


She didn't attack him, she said he has trust issues which is true.

It's funny how you chime in on every thread.


If you are not willing to accept constructive criticism maybe you shouldn't post on a public forum. As they say, the truth hurts sometimes.

It's obvious that you are white knighting, which is again common in this forum. As for constructive criticism, you haven't been constructive at all. All you are doing is attacking me when I have an argument with a female member.


You don't have to believe you have trust issues. I simply agree with her assessment. To us, it sounds like you do. It's not an attack. I am not looking for an argument, I won't reply.

Yet, you have constantly started arguments with me in multiple threads. Call me crazy, but just because a few people whom I've never met on an aspergers forum tell me I have trust issues and I should date women who bar hop; doesn't make it a good idea. Even a woman on the forum agreed with me, but I guess she doesn't receieve "constructive criticism". It's funny how that works.



blackicmenace
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11 Jan 2017, 3:11 pm

Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
White knighting is a red flag :lol:


I will happily accept that designation. I have always spoken my mind and helped those who are bullied or look like they need help.

So these women are weak and thus need your help, because they cannot defend themselves?


I have always been this way from a young age, it's not forum behavior. It's my nature to speak my mind and help people. In this particular case, I speak my mind, agreeing with her assessment. Like I said, I am not looking for an argument, good day.


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Last edited by blackicmenace on 11 Jan 2017, 5:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 3:13 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
White knighting is a red flag :lol:


I will happily accept that designation. I have always spoken my mind and helped those who are bullied or look like they need help.

So these women are weak and thus need your help, because they cannot defend themselves?


I have allows been this way from a young age, it's not forum behavior. It's my nature to speak my mind and help people. In this particular case, I speak my mind, agreeing with her assessment. Like I said, I am not looking for an argument, good day.

Copping out, like in the other thread and also no mention of nurseangela agreeing with me; how interesting.



Last edited by Hexen on 11 Jan 2017, 3:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

feral botanist
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11 Jan 2017, 3:15 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
White knighting is a red flag :lol:


I will happily accept that designation. I have always spoken my mind and helped those who are bullied or look like they need help.

So these women are weak and thus need your help, because they cannot defend themselves?

Yeah. I think men and women should be able to debate on a forum without any sort of intervention or nannying.



The philosophy forum is a little less strict on the rules, but in the other forums, let make sure we are being supportive of everyone.



TheSpectrum
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11 Jan 2017, 3:15 pm

I wouldn't date a lady who bar hops, either, and I work in one.
I don't feel the need to do it - it seems to be the kind of thing someone single does.
Perhaps it's a generational thing, or a need to keep up with friends in the sense of not looking like a wet blanket. But all my friends are older and settled down so that sort of behaviour with them is associated with sad lonely people wanting to hook up.


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Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 3:16 pm

feral botanist wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
Hexen wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
White knighting is a red flag :lol:


I will happily accept that designation. I have always spoken my mind and helped those who are bullied or look like they need help.

So these women are weak and thus need your help, because they cannot defend themselves?

Yeah. I think men and women should be able to debate on a forum without any sort of intervention or nannying.



The philosophy forum is a little less strict on the rules, but in the other forums, let make sure we are being supportive of everyone.

That doesn't happen here, at least if you're not a female member.



Luhluhluh
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11 Jan 2017, 3:16 pm

Hexen wrote:
Thank you! See, I told you there are women who ACTUALLY agree with me. I guess you don't speak for all women after all, Luhluhluh.


I didn't say "all women" I said "women everywhere."

No one is stopping you from preferring and finding a conservative-minded woman who wants to stay home and not go out to happy hour. I'm not understanding the attitude?


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