Red flags in dating? Early stages

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Luhluhluh
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11 Jan 2017, 1:30 pm

Hexen wrote:
MsV wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Hexen wrote:
It's a red flag to me and I've NEVER seen a relationship where a women likes to go bar hopping last; not once.


What's a red flag to you exactly, just if a girl is out somewhere having drinks?

And well in my relationship me and my boyfriend drink at home, we have also gone out to bars and such to drink as well....you've never seen a woman in a relationship who enjoys going out to bars and drinking?


To me not wanting your SO to go hang out with their friends and dance at a club for example, would be a red flag. Maybe it's lack of understanding that a girls' night does not generally include interacting with men so much as acting a fool with your girls (like litterally just dancing and laughing and telling people who would intrude on this fun to 'pish off'). If your SO wanted to be with someone else, a bar / club is not the only place they could step out. But then again, if they want to step out they shouldn't be with you imo...
So I guess it comes down to respect and trust and the stability of the relationship. But barring them from doing things, is not going to alleviate any potential risk. I think anyway.

It doesn't come down to preventing them from doing anything, it comes down to having a partner that doesn't live that life-style in the first place.


I would consider it a red flag to have a boyfriend who didn't want me to go out with my girlfriends to happy hour because he equates drinking alcohol to a loose lifestyle or something.

Lack of trust is a huge red flag. And I agree, you probably just shouldn't date someone who likes to go out with their friends sometimes. Sounds to me like you have trust issues with women.


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Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 1:38 pm

Luhluhluh wrote:
Hexen wrote:
MsV wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Hexen wrote:
It's a red flag to me and I've NEVER seen a relationship where a women likes to go bar hopping last; not once.


What's a red flag to you exactly, just if a girl is out somewhere having drinks?

And well in my relationship me and my boyfriend drink at home, we have also gone out to bars and such to drink as well....you've never seen a woman in a relationship who enjoys going out to bars and drinking?


To me not wanting your SO to go hang out with their friends and dance at a club for example, would be a red flag. Maybe it's lack of understanding that a girls' night does not generally include interacting with men so much as acting a fool with your girls (like litterally just dancing and laughing and telling people who would intrude on this fun to 'pish off'). If your SO wanted to be with someone else, a bar / club is not the only place they could step out. But then again, if they want to step out they shouldn't be with you imo...
So I guess it comes down to respect and trust and the stability of the relationship. But barring them from doing things, is not going to alleviate any potential risk. I think anyway.

It doesn't come down to preventing them from doing anything, it comes down to having a partner that doesn't live that life-style in the first place.


I would consider it a red flag to have a boyfriend who didn't want me to go out with my girlfriends to happy hour because he equates drinking alcohol to a loose lifestyle or something.

Lack of trust is a huge red flag. And I agree, you probably just shouldn't date someone who likes to go out with their friends sometimes. Sounds to me like you have trust issues with women.

So, let me get this straight. It is illegal to drive drunk, if you go into work drunk you get fired, alcohol affects judgment so you don't think rationally on it; yet it isn't a red flag to get drunk in public without your partner? So, if I wanted to go get drunk with my buddies and goto a club where there are drunk girls, that's not an issue? By the way, my best friend's mother, my grandmother and a few other older women agree with me. What do these women who agree with me all have in common? They grew up before the hookup culture when marriages actually lasted.



Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 1:39 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Hexen wrote:
It's a red flag to me and I've NEVER seen a relationship where a women likes to go bar hopping last; not once.


What's a red flag to you exactly, just if a girl is out somewhere having drinks?

And well in my relationship me and my boyfriend drink at home, we have also gone out to bars and such to drink as well....you've never seen a woman in a relationship who enjoys going out to bars and drinking?

No in an exclusive relationship, no.



Windstorm
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11 Jan 2017, 2:00 pm

Hexen wrote:
it isn't a red flag to get drunk in public without your partner? So, if I wanted to go get drunk with my buddies and goto a club where there are drunk girls, that's not an issue?


Correct, for most couples it wouldn’t be an issue on special occasions. If it happened every weekend then I'd say it would be a red flag.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jan 2017, 2:18 pm

He has his red flags; you have your red flags - why are you all attacking him?

He's not your boyfriend.


Here I am adding one:

Implying what others' red flags should be and shouldn't be is a red flag for me :p.



Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 2:27 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He has his red flags; you have your red flags - why are you all attacking him?

He's not your boyfriend.


Here I am adding one:

Implying what others' red flags should be and shouldn't be is a red flag for me :p.

Thank you. Female members always attack the male members on at Wrongplanet.



Luhluhluh
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11 Jan 2017, 2:29 pm

Hexen wrote:
So, let me get this straight. It is illegal to drive drunk, if you go into work drunk you get fired, alcohol affects judgment so you don't think rationally on it; yet it isn't a red flag to get drunk in public without your partner?

So, if I wanted to go get drunk with my buddies and goto a club where there are drunk girls, that's not an issue?


Not really, no.

Because you're equating drinking ANY amount of alcohol to getting impaired drunk.

You're comparing getting slightly buzzed and relaxed after one beer to knocking back shots. Yes, there is a difference.

But I seem to remember seeing another one of your posts where you equate women working and having a career to evil feminism, so I'm considering the source.

You should find a woman who thinks like you do; who wants to stay home and have babies. And that's okay. We all have our preferences.


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Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 2:37 pm

Luhluhluh wrote:
Hexen wrote:
So, let me get this straight. It is illegal to drive drunk, if you go into work drunk you get fired, alcohol affects judgment so you don't think rationally on it; yet it isn't a red flag to get drunk in public without your partner?

So, if I wanted to go get drunk with my buddies and goto a club where there are drunk girls, that's not an issue?


Not really, no.

Because you're equating drinking ANY amount of alcohol to getting impaired drunk.

You're comparing getting slightly buzzed and relaxed after one beer to knocking back shots. Yes, there is a difference.

But I seem to remember seeing another one of your posts where you equate women working and having a career to evil feminism, so I'm considering the source.

You should find a woman who thinks like you do; who wants to stay home and have babies. And that's okay. We all have our preferences.

Snarky, snarky. Are you expecting me to cry? I never stated it was evil for women to have a career. Go and re-read my post. Furthermore, again they are putting themselves in a bad situation and gee I wonder why ever woman I talk to over the age of 35 agrees with me. I will go look for a woman that is happy being a housewife and treating their husband wonderfully. It would certainly be better than being with a woman such as yourself, that makes excuses for women who have as you would say "loose" lifestyles.



Luhluhluh
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11 Jan 2017, 2:42 pm

Hexen wrote:
Snarky, snarky. Are you expecting me to cry? I never stated it was evil for women to have a career. Go and re-read my post. Furthermore, again they are putting themselves in a bad situation and gee I wonder why ever woman I talk to over the age of 35 agrees with me. I will go look for a woman that is happy being a housewife and treating their husband wonderfully. It would certainly be better than being with a woman such as yourself, that makes excuses for women who have as you would say "loose" lifestyles.


And you are free to do so and women everywhere wish you well in your search. :D


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blackicmenace
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11 Jan 2017, 2:45 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He has his red flags; you have your red flags - why are you all attacking him?

He's not your boyfriend.


Here I am adding one:

Implying what others' red flags should be and shouldn't be is a red flag for me :p.


She didn't attack him, she said he has trust issues which is true.


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Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 2:45 pm

Luhluhluh wrote:
Hexen wrote:
Snarky, snarky. Are you expecting me to cry? I never stated it was evil for women to have a career. Go and re-read my post. Furthermore, again they are putting themselves in a bad situation and gee I wonder why ever woman I talk to over the age of 35 agrees with me. I will go look for a woman that is happy being a housewife and treating their husband wonderfully. It would certainly be better than being with a woman such as yourself, that makes excuses for women who have as you would say "loose" lifestyles.


And you are free to do so and women everywhere wish you well in your search. :D

Implying that that all women like going to bars and clubs with your :D. I Know this isn't true, just as I know conservative women exist; although they are usually older. Funny, I didn't know that you spoke for all women. Do you do a lot of UN speeches?



Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 2:46 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He has his red flags; you have your red flags - why are you all attacking him?

He's not your boyfriend.


Here I am adding one:

Implying what others' red flags should be and shouldn't be is a red flag for me :p.


She didn't attack him, she said he has trust issues which is true.

It's funny how you chime in on every thread.



MsV
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11 Jan 2017, 2:51 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He has his red flags; you have your red flags - why are you all attacking him?

He's not your boyfriend.


Here I am adding one:

Implying what others' red flags should be and shouldn't be is a red flag for me :p.


I wasn't trying to attack anything/anyone. Just approaching the matter from an other point of view.

Not saying anything is strictly right/wrong. Things rarely are.

Oh and just a thought, I never meant to say that getting drunk is ok. Having a glass of wine (max 2) with the girls doesn't generally get us drunk though.



TheSpectrum
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11 Jan 2017, 2:52 pm

White knighting is a red flag :lol:


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diablo
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11 Jan 2017, 2:53 pm

This thread taught me I'm one big walking red flag