Dealing with my new aspie boyfriend's interests

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totalnumpty
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 1

Today, 5:55 am

Hello everyone,

I'm an NT and my new boyfriend is an aspie. He's incredibly creative, intelligent, and talented. He shares my interest in literature and music, and loves the same bands, writers, and poets as I do, only knows much, much more about them than I do. However, it should be said that he is more interested in the biographies of these people than in feelings/ideas/subtleties/influence (which I am).

Which is wonderful. This means I can learn about different aspects of the things I'm interested in.

My problem is essentially this. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to participate in our conversations. He does seem to take over a little bit. I'm an abstract thinker and always have been, and I have always been interested in people, how they think, how we work. I don't feel I can talk about the things I love in a way he would appreciate. He interrupts and seems impatient when I talk. He also seems offended when I disagree with him. Somehow I'm now finding myself speechless even when there is silence and space for me to talk. I find it extremely attractive to hear him talk about something he knows well but at the same time...7 hours can go by and he can still be going on about the same topic.

He does realize this himself and often apologizes. He tries to ask questions. He says when he's nervous he tends to talk "at" people. The thing is, I want him to be comfortable with being himself. I want him to share. But I'm afraid of feeling invisible, if that makes sense. I worry that he will never really know who I am, when the only thing he seems to be able to talk about are our interests (and somewhat one-sidedly). We don't really talk about anything else, either, except maybe his ambitions.

Ah. I hope this all made sense. I was just wondering if anyone has had similar experiences? Advice, maybe? How do you balance a relationship when special interests dominate the conversation? I like him very much and want it to work.