Are relationships really worth it?
Is the lottery worth it? Assuming you win, yes.
I spend a weekend crying after each one inevitably fails within the first month or so. I'm told to keep trying, keep my hopes up, that people not being there emotionally when I was there for them is a reflection of them and not me. What does that really change, though?
How does one enjoy life and maintain peace of mind when you're being hurt, by someone you've started to trust and care for, on a regular basis?
Because someone who loves you shouldn't hurt you they should build you up to be the best you.
No arguments here, I just can't find anyone who loves me.
Sorry I didn't mean it as a disagreement I just worry that some women thing being hurt in a relationship is normal.
I hope you find someone who really loves you
Is the lottery worth it? Assuming you win, yes.
I spend a weekend crying after each one inevitably fails within the first month or so. I'm told to keep trying, keep my hopes up, that people not being there emotionally when I was there for them is a reflection of them and not me. What does that really change, though?
How does one enjoy life and maintain peace of mind when you're being hurt, by someone you've started to trust and care for, on a regular basis?
Because someone who loves you shouldn't hurt you they should build you up to be the best you.
No arguments here, I just can't find anyone who loves me.
Sorry I didn't mean it as a disagreement I just worry that some women thing being hurt in a relationship is normal.
I hope you find someone who really loves you
Oh, no worries. I understand a lot of people come to expect things they really shouldn't in a relationship. And thank you.
Normally I'm happy on my own, but sometimes I really want someone to cuddle and dote on who won't be conspicuously absent when it's me and not them who needs to vent and who'll find time for me without distractions. This is "normal" for me, even if it's not right.
Hmm I don't know if its me or the people I have dated, but I have always found that am happy when am single and unhappy when am in a relationship.
This has resulted in a not so common very louse relationship, with emm my life long friend`s wife who are swingers. Its gone on for 2 year. Its the happiest I have been.
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goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
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Um, yes.
There's a reason why there's a cliche saying that "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."
Also, without relationships we'd kinda be depending on rape for the perpetuation of our species... soooooo, I think, in general, they're really worth it.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
There's a reason why there's a cliche saying that "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."
Also, without relationships we'd kinda be depending on rape for the perpetuation of our species... soooooo, I think, in general, they're really worth it.
Well no. You can conceive on a consensual one night stand.
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Not me. Some men see this as an impediment. It is. So I came up with a practical solution. Rather than complaining about women wanting guys in their income bracket, I quit my low pay job and got a higher paying job.
Now my career advancement has become a goal in itself, independent from wanting to make myself more attractive to women. I don't blame women for wanting a guy in the same income bracket as them. I'd like a woman in the same income bracket as me. With two middle class incomes we could build our fortune, invest and ratchet ourselves into upper middle class.
I don't want a woman to make me rich, I want a woman who will be my partner getting rich. I want to do it together.
I have to say having a househusband sounds quite nice actually.
It could be especially useful if one partner has an extremely demanding job with very long hours (such as lawyer or doctor) so the other can take care of domestic duties.
However, as I don't usually work more than 8 hours per day, I don't really need a housewife. So long as I work normal hours I can reasonably do half the housework (or all of it while I'm single).
I like girls with some ambition because it's an indicator of their personality type. i.e. if they put some effort into their career, they'll likely put similar effort into other aspects of their life. A stable relationship requires a good deal of effort from both parties.
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The days are long, but the years are short
Not me. Some men see this as an impediment. It is. So I came up with a practical solution. Rather than complaining about women wanting guys in their income bracket, I quit my low pay job and got a higher paying job.
Now my career advancement has become a goal in itself, independent from wanting to make myself more attractive to women. I don't blame women for wanting a guy in the same income bracket as them. I'd like a woman in the same income bracket as me. With two middle class incomes we could build our fortune, invest and ratchet ourselves into upper middle class.
I don't want a woman to make me rich, I want a woman who will be my partner getting rich. I want to do it together.
I have to say having a househusband sounds quite nice actually.
It could be especially useful if one partner has an extremely demanding job with very long hours (such as lawyer or doctor) so the other can take care of domestic duties.
However, as I don't usually work more than 8 hours per day, I don't really need a housewife. So long as I work normal hours I can reasonably do half the housework (or all of it while I'm single).
I like girls with some ambition because it's an indicator of their personality type. i.e. if they put some effort into their career, they'll likely put similar effort into other aspects of their life. A stable relationship requires a good deal of effort from both parties.
Sorry if it came across badly when I said "I know you don't say it Retro" i meant that I know you dont have that mentality.
Your view is a very healthy one in my view. I would happily have a househusband or an equal partner
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Not me. Some men see this as an impediment. It is. So I came up with a practical solution. Rather than complaining about women wanting guys in their income bracket, I quit my low pay job and got a higher paying job.
Now my career advancement has become a goal in itself, independent from wanting to make myself more attractive to women. I don't blame women for wanting a guy in the same income bracket as them. I'd like a woman in the same income bracket as me. With two middle class incomes we could build our fortune, invest and ratchet ourselves into upper middle class.
I don't want a woman to make me rich, I want a woman who will be my partner getting rich. I want to do it together.
I have to say having a househusband sounds quite nice actually.
It could be especially useful if one partner has an extremely demanding job with very long hours (such as lawyer or doctor) so the other can take care of domestic duties.
However, as I don't usually work more than 8 hours per day, I don't really need a housewife. So long as I work normal hours I can reasonably do half the housework (or all of it while I'm single).
I like girls with some ambition because it's an indicator of their personality type. i.e. if they put some effort into their career, they'll likely put similar effort into other aspects of their life. A stable relationship requires a good deal of effort from both parties.
Sorry if it came across badly when I said "I know you don't say it Retro" i meant that I know you dont have that mentality.
Your view is a very healthy one in my view. I would happily have a househusband or an equal partner
Thanks Alliekit. I didn't think you came across badly.
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The days are long, but the years are short
I know that some men who are unemployed or at minimum wage, when confronted by a woman with a higher salary who says she'll only date guys in her income bracket, I know that some men get very upset by this.[/quote]
The thing that bothers me about it, is when people equate pay to character. When I was younger I always got told by friends and family to study math, or finances, because I have a sharp mind. But I didn't want that. I work as a live and studio mix engineer. My paycheck is not impressive and some months very unpredictable., and it's likely to stay that way for a while, unless justin bieber calls me tomorrow to mix his new record... I do however work extremely hard, meet lots of people and get alot of compliments from the bands I work with, and I love doing it.
Reading through some of the answers in the thread I started about bitterness, and talking to my sister yesterday, I guess I am starting to shift perspective a bit though. I can somewhat understand why money is such a desirable trait in a partner, for some women especially. There's no use in being bitter about reality. Many people don't judge you by what you do, but by what you get from what you do. My life choices have made me less loveable in the eyes of alot of women, but doing what you want comes at a cost. I've had alot of doubt about the choices I've made, but I think I am getting closer to reaching contentment.
In the end, I only have one life and I don't want to live it for others. I'd rather stay true to myself, than strive to become a mindless utility object, even if that means ending up alone.
I'm just over a breakup, and even though the end was bitter and devastating, I think the relationship was worth it. We had ups and downs like every other couple, and now I'm stranded far away from my family in a job that I don't like (I started it to make sure we have enough money to be together), but all the happiness we gave each other outweighs the bad stuff. At least for me it does. Every person is different, I guess.
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
There's a reason why there's a cliche saying that "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."
Also, without relationships we'd kinda be depending on rape for the perpetuation of our species... soooooo, I think, in general, they're really worth it.
Well no. You can conceive on a consensual one night stand.
Although a very short lived several-inch-deep & meaningless relationship, it's still, technically, a relationship. Not the LTR type the OP was likely meaning, but still a relationship.
Regardless, though, people have evolved like many other animal species.. intended to pair up and reproduce. Or just to pair up and enjoy each other's company & partnership in life vs. make babies, simply because relationships are, in general, healthy for us. So much so that people in LTR's literally live longer than those who fly solo forever. Love is a very powerful and important force. It's absurd to discount it's value and suggest that relationships, in general, are not worth it. Perhaps they're not worth the stress or challenge for some people, but for most NT's and most of us, they are - even if they're not romantic partnership relationships and just platonic relationships with close friends.. they happen for a reason and are worth it to almost everyone.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
And being loyal to each other is too basic rule to me that I didn't mention it.
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"Embrace the glorious mess that you are."
^ I think my answer may confuse you worse.
I'll say again. I would rather have separate place.
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"Embrace the glorious mess that you are."
And RetroGamer87, thanks for your greeting!
As a workaholic I've been working wandering around and dating.
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"Embrace the glorious mess that you are."
Because men like to be loved for what they are and not for what they achieved perhaps?
And women want that too.
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