Are relationships really worth it?

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Outrider
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11 Jan 2017, 8:09 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I'd say it's break even. Yes there's arguing and fighting and there's also affection. On good days it's like your girlfriend is also your best friend. Your partner in crime. On bad days she acts like an unruly child. Even on the good days she can distract you from your career. On the bad days you can't get much work done because you're too busy thinking about how mad you are at her.

So have a girlfriend if you want. You'll probably break even in happiness and frustration. But if you have a girlfriend be prepared to give up having a top performing career. Girls are to distracting for the aspiring salaryman. The saying "behind every great man is a great woman" is boulderdash. Only get a girlfriend if you don't value your career.
That's funny - I was thinking the same way about getting a boyfriend. I've got a career plan that takes up quite a bit of my time, so any Hunny better have one too. So far, most that I have met don't have an inkling of what they want to be when they grow up. Either that or they are just too much into their entertainment - time that I don't have. Any Hunny of mine would definitely have to have a career or several hobbies that are solo activities.
Exactly. Love and dating is a big career distraction for both sexes. And who would want to date someone without a career? I wouldn't. There's more to life than frivolous entertainments.
Peacesells wrote:
Infact most successul people are all single, right? :roll:
Who has time for dating when there's work to be done?

Image


Aromantic Asexual men? Yes, very productive.

Socially isolated heterosexual men? Hell no!

Socially isolated straight guys tend to be NEETs/unemployed/underemployed, often complain online sadly (more rare: angrily) and spend all their free time in escapist pursuits like video games, weed, etc. To cope with crippling anxiety, depression and loneliness.



RetroGamer87
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11 Jan 2017, 8:12 am

Outrider wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I'd say it's break even. Yes there's arguing and fighting and there's also affection. On good days it's like your girlfriend is also your best friend. Your partner in crime. On bad days she acts like an unruly child. Even on the good days she can distract you from your career. On the bad days you can't get much work done because you're too busy thinking about how mad you are at her.

So have a girlfriend if you want. You'll probably break even in happiness and frustration. But if you have a girlfriend be prepared to give up having a top performing career. Girls are to distracting for the aspiring salaryman. The saying "behind every great man is a great woman" is boulderdash. Only get a girlfriend if you don't value your career.
That's funny - I was thinking the same way about getting a boyfriend. I've got a career plan that takes up quite a bit of my time, so any Hunny better have one too. So far, most that I have met don't have an inkling of what they want to be when they grow up. Either that or they are just too much into their entertainment - time that I don't have. Any Hunny of mine would definitely have to have a career or several hobbies that are solo activities.
Exactly. Love and dating is a big career distraction for both sexes. And who would want to date someone without a career? I wouldn't. There's more to life than frivolous entertainments.
Peacesells wrote:
Infact most successul people are all single, right? :roll:
Who has time for dating when there's work to be done?

Image


Aromantic Asexual men? Yes, very productive.

Socially isolated heterosexual men? Hell no!

Socially isolated straight guys tend to be NEETs/unemployed/underemployed, often complain online sadly (more rare: angrily) and spend all their free time in escapist pursuits like video games, weed, etc. To cope with crippling anxiety, depression and loneliness.


You don't have to be aromantic or asexual. It's possible for a hetero person to prioritise other things above heterosex.


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Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 9:14 am

If you can find a woman that is not brainwashed by the media and taught to hate men, yes; otherwise no. Third wave feminism has destroyed the relationship between men and women. We now have women who feel that are liberated when they sleep with multiple men, because they want to be more like men that sleep with multiple women. Women are now taught not to have sympathy for men and worse yet they rarely have repercussions when it comes to things like filing a false rape charge. There are actual studies showing how women are the most unhappy as they've ever been. Before any of the radical feminists chime in, the first two waves of feminism were not just a good thing; they were necessary as well. This third wave is all about getting back at men and treating them no better than animals.



Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 9:34 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I'd say it's break even. Yes there's arguing and fighting and there's also affection. On good days it's like your girlfriend is also your best friend. Your partner in crime. On bad days she acts like an unruly child. Even on the good days she can distract you from your career. On the bad days you can't get much work done because you're too busy thinking about how mad you are at her.

So have a girlfriend if you want. You'll probably break even in happiness and frustration. But if you have a girlfriend be prepared to give up having a top performing career. Girls are to distracting for the aspiring salaryman. The saying "behind every great man is a great woman" is boulderdash. Only get a girlfriend if you don't value your career.

It depends on the type of woman you date. If you are Christian, I suggest you date a conservative Christian woman. They will be less likely to cheat and more prone to being a house wife. If you have a wife that is a house wife, you can spend more time with them and you two will be ultimately happier. That's not to say you CANNOT be happy with a career woman, but if you are both working all the time you will not have time for each other and if you have kids; that will exacerbate the issue. That outcome can only happen if you make the big bucks though. See housewives are demonized now, thanks to modern day feminism. There are women who would actually like to be house wives, but modern day feminism teaches women that, that is wrong and shames them into wanting a career in some cases. This is not to say that women shouldn't have the same rights as men, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying, is that something that has worked for years and years and years, has worked for a good reason. Were all women happy in their marriages back then, no but there were WAY more happy marriages in the 90s,80s,70s,60s,50s,40s,30s,20s then there are now. My best friend's parents love each other the same as when they first got married and she's a stay at home mom. She used to work, but no longer does.



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11 Jan 2017, 9:48 am

Hexen wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I'd say it's break even. Yes there's arguing and fighting and there's also affection. On good days it's like your girlfriend is also your best friend. Your partner in crime. On bad days she acts like an unruly child. Even on the good days she can distract you from your career. On the bad days you can't get much work done because you're too busy thinking about how mad you are at her.

So have a girlfriend if you want. You'll probably break even in happiness and frustration. But if you have a girlfriend be prepared to give up having a top performing career. Girls are to distracting for the aspiring salaryman. The saying "behind every great man is a great woman" is boulderdash. Only get a girlfriend if you don't value your career.

It depends on the type of woman you date. If you are Christian, I suggest you date a conservative Christian woman. They will be less likely to cheat and more prone to being a house wife. If you have a wife that is a house wife, you can spend more time with them and you two will be ultimately happier. That's not to say you CANNOT be happy with a career woman, but if you are both working all the time you will not have time for each other and if you have kids; that will exacerbate the issue. That outcome can only happen if you make the big bucks though. See housewives are demonized now, thanks to modern day feminism. There are women who would actually like to be house wives, but modern day feminism teaches women that, that is wrong and shames them into wanting a career in some cases. This is not to say that women shouldn't have the same rights as men, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying, is that something that has worked for years and years and years, has worked for a good reason. Were all women happy in their marriages back then, no but there were WAY more happy marriages in the 90s,80s,70s,60s,50s,40s,30s,20s then there are now. My best friend's parents love each other the same as when they first got married and she's a stay at home mom. She used to work, but no longer does.

I am not a Christian so I believe marrying a Christian would cause conflict. I'd rather marry a careerwoman so we can enjoy a wealthier lifestyle together

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androbot01
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11 Jan 2017, 9:59 am

I don't think they are; at least, not for me. People have too many illusions about themselves which I have a hard time staying interested in.



Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 10:04 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Hexen wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I'd say it's break even. Yes there's arguing and fighting and there's also affection. On good days it's like your girlfriend is also your best friend. Your partner in crime. On bad days she acts like an unruly child. Even on the good days she can distract you from your career. On the bad days you can't get much work done because you're too busy thinking about how mad you are at her.

So have a girlfriend if you want. You'll probably break even in happiness and frustration. But if you have a girlfriend be prepared to give up having a top performing career. Girls are to distracting for the aspiring salaryman. The saying "behind every great man is a great woman" is boulderdash. Only get a girlfriend if you don't value your career.

It depends on the type of woman you date. If you are Christian, I suggest you date a conservative Christian woman. They will be less likely to cheat and more prone to being a house wife. If you have a wife that is a house wife, you can spend more time with them and you two will be ultimately happier. That's not to say you CANNOT be happy with a career woman, but if you are both working all the time you will not have time for each other and if you have kids; that will exacerbate the issue. That outcome can only happen if you make the big bucks though. See housewives are demonized now, thanks to modern day feminism. There are women who would actually like to be house wives, but modern day feminism teaches women that, that is wrong and shames them into wanting a career in some cases. This is not to say that women shouldn't have the same rights as men, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying, is that something that has worked for years and years and years, has worked for a good reason. Were all women happy in their marriages back then, no but there were WAY more happy marriages in the 90s,80s,70s,60s,50s,40s,30s,20s then there are now. My best friend's parents love each other the same as when they first got married and she's a stay at home mom. She used to work, but no longer does.

I am not a Christian so I believe marrying a Christian would cause conflict. I'd rather marry a careerwoman so we can enjoy a wealthier lifestyle together

Image

I'm not Christian either, but I'm conservative in a lot of area; that's what makes it very difficult. I'm a pagan pantheist libertarian. Everyone hates me, lol.



Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 10:06 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Hexen wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I'd say it's break even. Yes there's arguing and fighting and there's also affection. On good days it's like your girlfriend is also your best friend. Your partner in crime. On bad days she acts like an unruly child. Even on the good days she can distract you from your career. On the bad days you can't get much work done because you're too busy thinking about how mad you are at her.

So have a girlfriend if you want. You'll probably break even in happiness and frustration. But if you have a girlfriend be prepared to give up having a top performing career. Girls are to distracting for the aspiring salaryman. The saying "behind every great man is a great woman" is boulderdash. Only get a girlfriend if you don't value your career.

It depends on the type of woman you date. If you are Christian, I suggest you date a conservative Christian woman. They will be less likely to cheat and more prone to being a house wife. If you have a wife that is a house wife, you can spend more time with them and you two will be ultimately happier. That's not to say you CANNOT be happy with a career woman, but if you are both working all the time you will not have time for each other and if you have kids; that will exacerbate the issue. That outcome can only happen if you make the big bucks though. See housewives are demonized now, thanks to modern day feminism. There are women who would actually like to be house wives, but modern day feminism teaches women that, that is wrong and shames them into wanting a career in some cases. This is not to say that women shouldn't have the same rights as men, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying, is that something that has worked for years and years and years, has worked for a good reason. Were all women happy in their marriages back then, no but there were WAY more happy marriages in the 90s,80s,70s,60s,50s,40s,30s,20s then there are now. My best friend's parents love each other the same as when they first got married and she's a stay at home mom. She used to work, but no longer does.

I am not a Christian so I believe marrying a Christian would cause conflict. I'd rather marry a careerwoman so we can enjoy a wealthier lifestyle together

Image

Fair enough, just know you can run into the issues I've mentioned. I'd suggest you two trying to be on the same work schedule, if possible.



voidofcontext
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11 Jan 2017, 10:14 am

You sure do have some very odd views on women, for a pagan.

Also functional marriages and acceptance of status quo =/= happy marriages. The inference is flawed from the outset.


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Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 10:18 am

voidofcontext wrote:
You sure do have some very odd views on women, for a pagan.

Also functional marriages and acceptance of status quo =/= happy marriages. The inference is flawed from the outset.

Please explain why on both accounts. Providing sources if necessary and I will do the same. Although it is hard with certain studies, considering how facts can now be viewed as sexist; however I will still provide sources if you do and we can discuss this. Not as an argument, but as a civil debate if you wish. This may severely derail the thread however.



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11 Jan 2017, 10:22 am

Hexen wrote:
This third wave is all about getting back at men and treating them no better than animals.


So it's pretty much even now, eh? :D
For centuries women have been treated like animals, breeding stock and property, with no chances for education, careers, actual freedom... many women are still being treated as such, so don't be surprised to see the same attitudes in reverse.

Hostile attitudes have always been there, now they're just being expressed. You get men treating men like animals, women treating men like animals, men treating women like animals... it's all human nature I'm afraid. Women are no angels with endless patience, radiating gentle warmth half-holy beings. We can also be full of aggression, vindictive, narcissistic, controlling just like men.

More women now than ever are aware of all sorts of horrible things that some men do to women and girls and this can really have an impact on their general attitude towards men (tough, we all generalize just like you did). Blame abusive, violent men, human traffickers, child pornography addicts, rapists who get ridiculous sentences, wife-beaters... Decent men need to unite against all that pond life and show them those horrible behaviours won't be tolerated.
In many developing, poor countries it's still hell for women and girls and guess what's their main problem? Men and their attitudes, entitlement and tradition placing women next to goats and pigs. Whenever I see a documentary from let's say poorer parts of rural India with young girls in brothels my blood boils. Why won't decent men unite against all that?
(Rant over)

I don't even consider myself a radical feminist... more like a garden variety, quiet one.



Hexen
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11 Jan 2017, 10:45 am

RandomFox wrote:
Hexen wrote:
This third wave is all about getting back at men and treating them no better than animals.


So it's pretty much even now, eh? :D
For centuries women have been treated like animals, breeding stock and property, with no chances for education, careers, actual freedom... many women are still being treated as such, so don't be surprised to see the same attitudes in reverse.

Hostile attitudes have always been there, now they're just being expressed. You get men treating men like animals, women treating men like animals, men treating women like animals... it's all human nature I'm afraid. Women are no angels with endless patience, radiating gentle warmth half-holy beings. We can also be full of aggression, vindictive, narcissistic, controlling just like men.

More women now than ever are aware of all sorts of horrible things that some men do to women and girls and this can really have an impact on their general attitude towards men (tough, we all generalize just like you did). Blame abusive, violent men, human traffickers, child pornography addicts, rapists who get ridiculous sentences, wife-beaters... Decent men need to unite against all that pond life and show them those horrible behaviours won't be tolerated.
In many developing, poor countries it's still hell for women and girls and guess what's their main problem? Men and their attitudes, entitlement and tradition placing women next to goats and pigs. Whenever I see a documentary from let's say poorer parts of rural India with young girls in brothels my blood boils. Why won't decent men unite against all that?
(Rant over)

I don't even consider myself a radical feminist... more like a garden variety, quiet one.

And how do men "unite" exactly? Also, are you defending women who file false rape reports; because you are implying that you do and I would like to clarify. I myself am an egalitarian. There should be no special treatment for any set group. Yes, women are still treated poorly but not in western society. Women are favored in divorce court, in custody battles, in pretty much everything in modern day western society; women are given special privileges. Suffering as a majority women do exist OUTSIDE of western society, specifically in Muslim countries; however Muslim countries are given a free pass by the media and the United Nations. They way women are treated in Muslim countries is sickening, yet there is little to no outrage for it abroad. Women in Muslim countries are sentenced to death if they are raped, because they "caused the man to lust". When you go and state things such as, "
So it's pretty much even now, eh? :D" with the stupid :D, you are essentially making fun of the suffering of men in western society as a result of extreme "feminism". Every man who has had their life ruined because of a false rape report, every man who has be a victim of rape, every man who has lost his children in a custody battle. To make comments such as "So it's pretty much even now, eh? :D", means that you are part of the issue. Suffrage is not a joke, no matter what sex.



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11 Jan 2017, 11:42 am

Drawyer wrote:
In my humble opinion, if the two person let each other live like they're single the relationship is worth keeping. :mrgreen:


How do you live like you're single if you're in a relationship though....I don't get how that would really work, especially if you live with your S.O. like I do.


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11 Jan 2017, 11:47 am

If a couple were wealthy enough they could maintain separate homes, and get together on weekends. For instance, it would be nice to stay out near the ocean during the summer, but get together at the city home during the winter.



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11 Jan 2017, 11:57 am

Hexen wrote:
If you can find a woman that is not brainwashed by the media and taught to hate men, yes; otherwise no. Third wave feminism has destroyed the relationship between men and women. We now have women who feel that are liberated when they sleep with multiple men, because they want to be more like men that sleep with multiple women. Women are now taught not to have sympathy for men and worse yet they rarely have repercussions when it comes to things like filing a false rape charge. There are actual studies showing how women are the most unhappy as they've ever been. Before any of the radical feminists chime in, the first two waves of feminism were not just a good thing; they were necessary as well. This third wave is all about getting back at men and treating them no better than animals.


:roll: It is a fraction of women who hate males, usually that is among extremist feminists and people who sympathize with that ideology. Also the media as a whole is not 'anti-male' as far as I can tell, whilst some outlets may be biased that way. The relations between males and females are not completely destroyed.

Also maybe a lot of them sleep with multiple men because they want to, not because they're trying to be like anything.

And who is it that is 'teaching' all the women to have no sympathy for guys, whoever it is they don't seem to be doing a very good job as I don't observe this being widespread in the real world. Also pretty sure if you were caught falsifying something like rape there would be repercussions, I thought false reporting was a crime they prosecute.


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