Deep hang-ups that last for years, typical for autism?

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alpacka
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18 May 2017, 3:14 pm

Is it typical for autistic people that you can think about someone special for years even if you not seen the person for a very long time?

I would love to know the reason for why hangups do accure and why I don't just forget about it and move on. I was not in a relationship with him or saw this person regulary either, so I really don't get it. I feel bad about it because I am in a stable relationship since many years back and I don't think this hangup would be a better choice.

I always been like this, being TOO interested TOO long time but other people just move on from REAL relationships. How on earth are they coping with that so easy?

Anyone feeling the same or know why hangups happen such a long time?


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Closet Genious
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18 May 2017, 5:27 pm

I have had a very hard time recovering from relationships. I am scared about attatching to someone again.



MjrMajorMajor
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18 May 2017, 10:25 pm

I've always been the same way. It sucks sometimes.



QuillAlba
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18 May 2017, 10:30 pm

alpacka wrote:
Is it typical for autistic people that you can think about someone special for years even if you not seen the person for a very long time?

I would love to know the reason for why hangups do accure and why I don't just forget about it and move on. I was not in a relationship with him or saw this person regulary either, so I really don't get it. I feel bad about it because I am in a stable relationship since many years back and I don't think this hangup would be a better choice.

I always been like this, being TOO interested TOO long time but other people just move on from REAL relationships. How on earth are they coping with that so easy?

Anyone feeling the same or know why hangups happen such a long time?



We preserve feeling, it does not decrease and fade over time.

Other people refresh love and relationships to prevent them fading.

Ours seem to pause instead.

Hope that makes sense.



rdos
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19 May 2017, 9:45 am

I think it is meant to be that way. My best memories are from long-lasting crushes that I couldn't (and wouldn't) move on from. Doing things the "normal way" tends to create shallow attachments that won't work in the long run. I need a strong crush, and a few years of obsessive thoughts to create something that is worthwhile and that will last.



Richardf269
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19 May 2017, 1:48 pm

alpacka wrote:
Is it typical for autistic people that you can think about someone special for years even if you not seen the person for a very long time?

I would love to know the reason for why hangups do accure and why I don't just forget about it and move on. I was not in a relationship with him or saw this person regulary either, so I really don't get it. I feel bad about it because I am in a stable relationship since many years back and I don't think this hangup would be a better choice.

I always been like this, being TOO interested TOO long time but other people just move on from REAL relationships. How on earth are they coping with that so easy?

Anyone feeling the same or know why hangups happen such a long time?


It happened to me 13 years ago. I met a woman (young lady, really), and I was in love with her for that long. She recently told me that she didn't consider us to be in a "relationship" even though I clearly asked her out. When she told me that...I was pretty hurt by it. I now have the realization that I wasn't as important to her as I thought I was, even though she emailed me and told me before that that she missed talking to me on the phone. Then I expressed how I felt about her, and now she's been totally ignoring me, and it honestly hurts me when I think about it. And now I find myself in an odd situation with another woman closer to my age, and I find myself liking her a lot.