Why do you think a relationship will make you happy?

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hurtloam
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09 Jul 2017, 3:47 pm

Honest truth shadowprophet. Focussing on other things and doing other things doesn't cure how lonely I feel, but it does take my mind off myself and takes the edge off the pain.

Walking is my thing. And photography. I walk and walk and walk and I take photos.

Unfortunately it's been really rainy the past week which is part of why I feel so bad. I haven't been able to go for walks.

I've signed up for a zumba class next week just to do something a bit different. I'll go crazy if I'm stuck in the house every evening next week too.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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09 Jul 2017, 4:03 pm

ShadowProphet wrote:
Like I said in my above post, love and sex is everywhere in our culture. You can't escape it. You try to run away from the things that triggers your loneliness, you won't be able to get very far. The songs you listen to on the radio, the couples you see walking down the street, the tv shows you watch where every main character has had 3-4 partners, it's impossible to escape it.

So what am I supposed to do? Ignore my desires? Ignore my need for love and sex? I won't be able to get very far with that approach because at the end of the day, the heart wants what it wants and I want this more than anything!

So I have no other choice but to press on, to get rejected time and time again. Even if it hurts so bad, even if I feel like drifting away, because to me, my only way out of this war is forwards.


Feeling lonely is normal and lots of people feel that way (including me, sometimes.) What's concerning is how angry you describe yourself getting when your loneliness is triggered. I don't get enraged when I feel lonely, I don't think that's a normal reaction to feeling alone. Perhaps that is why the other commenter suggested therapy, because of that powerful anger you described when you see others having something you want. It might be that anger that is actually part of the problem and what is keeping others from getting close to you, keeping you from being able to form lasting relationships with others. If you are so angry your anger pushes or scares others away, how will you ever relieve your loneliness? Maybe that would be worth taking to a therapist over, to control your anger so you can have a better chance of meeting someone and having a healthy relationship.



hurtloam
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09 Jul 2017, 4:23 pm

Nah I don't think that's fair either.

I had bad anger issues at the end of last year that just grew out of my frustration. I was so depressed and so frustrated all I could do was cry and throw things.

The day I threw a cup across the kitchen and a shard sprang back and cut my face was the day I made a Drs appointment. I could have accidentally taken my eye out.

I don't think my anger was pushing people away. The anger grew out of frustration. I am a problem solver. I like to fix things, but I feel powerless in this love thing. I can't make it work and I don't know why.

I just totally broke down last year.

I'm on medication now.

Yes I would encourage anyone with depression and anger to go see a doctor for help.



cberg
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09 Jul 2017, 4:26 pm

I think relating with the whole world makes people happy.


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09 Jul 2017, 4:32 pm

When the worst moments of your life come, when the shit-storm hits and you have NO ONE to turn to, to talk to, to lean on even for moral support - when the world is literally eating you alive, as a ravenous, bilious monster, and all the NTs treat you like an animal to be subdued and beaten - then, you will understand the value and importance of a true friend, a loyal partner. But it will be too late. You will be crushed in the social machine, spit out into the wilderness, broken and bloodied, and die - alone.

What? Too much? 8O It's the truth.

Forget about pie-in-the-sky romance, it's temporary, and it never ends well - just look at Romeo and Juliet. They may be fictional, but their story is an archetypal template, for a tragedy that has been played out millions of times in the real world. What's important are friendship, bonding and allegiance.


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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09 Jul 2017, 5:43 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Nah I don't think that's fair either.

I had bad anger issues at the end of last year that just grew out of my frustration. I was so depressed and so frustrated all I could do was cry and throw things.

The day I threw a cup across the kitchen and a shard sprang back and cut my face was the day I made a Drs appointment. I could have accidentally taken my eye out.

I don't think my anger was pushing people away. The anger grew out of frustration. I am a problem solver. I like to fix things, but I feel powerless in this love thing. I can't make it work and I don't know why.

I just totally broke down last year.

I'm on medication now.

Yes I would encourage anyone with depression and anger to go see a doctor for help.


I've struggled with anger before too, at different times in my life (not so much anymore.) It does push people away. It's hard to be around people who easily become enraged. I have people in my family who are angry people, and being around them is always hard for that reason, you never know what is going to set them off and whether they will be able to control themselves and might get physical if they do get mad. You are always walking on eggshells, afraid anything you say or do might trigger them. Being around angry people is hard. I'm sorry if that seems unfair, but it is just the truth.



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09 Jul 2017, 7:16 pm

well most of it is just coping with loneliness and longing for some one, anyone. problem is if this is found out you are the most sexist person on the planet, so you just focus on work instead and pretend things are okay.



cberg
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10 Jul 2017, 12:14 am

Because I know.


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hurtloam
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10 Jul 2017, 12:43 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Nah I don't think that's fair either.

I had bad anger issues at the end of last year that just grew out of my frustration. I was so depressed and so frustrated all I could do was cry and throw things.

The day I threw a cup across the kitchen and a shard sprang back and cut my face was the day I made a Drs appointment. I could have accidentally taken my eye out.

I don't think my anger was pushing people away. The anger grew out of frustration. I am a problem solver. I like to fix things, but I feel powerless in this love thing. I can't make it work and I don't know why.

I just totally broke down last year.

I'm on medication now.

Yes I would encourage anyone with depression and anger to go see a doctor for help.


I've struggled with anger before too, at different times in my life (not so much anymore.) It does push people away. It's hard to be around people who easily become enraged. I have people in my family who are angry people, and being around them is always hard for that reason, you never know what is going to set them off and whether they will be able to control themselves and might get physical if they do get mad. You are always walking on eggshells, afraid anything you say or do might trigger them. Being around angry people is hard. I'm sorry if that seems unfair, but it is just the truth.


On I can always keep composed around other people. It was when I was alone that I broke down.

Sorry, I forgot that other people may experience anger differently. Which is bizarre because I know what that walking on eggshells is like. I had to do it with my mother.



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10 Jul 2017, 1:51 pm

Ruling the world would make me happy.


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lidsmichelle
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10 Jul 2017, 2:40 pm

Being in a relationship has made me happier. Then again, I'm also not straight lmao. Having a supportive presence in your life, someone you sleep beside and go experience new things with and who you can talk to about your dreams and fears and all that is nice. I always thought friends were more important, but now that I'm aware I'm a lesbian and dating a woman I realize they're pretty equally important and a good relationship provides you with things a friendship does not. Namely romantic and sexual intimacy.

A relationship won't fix your problems and if it's bad it won't make you happy but it can definitely make you happIER.


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Herein You Will Find Various And Numerous And Innumerable Hexes, Curses, Words In The Old Tongue To Cleave A’Twain Friend, Foe, Family Alike. If You So Choose. Money Hates Me, God Hates Me, My Wife Hates Me, My Own Hands Hate Me. But Thats All Beside The Point. The Point Is That My Time Here On Earth Runs Short. Im Not Dying But You All Are. Im A Glass Of Wine. Nothing Beats A Glass Of Wine. When The Kids Arent Home And Your A Mother Theres A Glass Of Wine There. A Glass Coffee Table And I’m A Glass Of Wine. Stressful Day When The Kids And you're Husband Then Glass Of Wine. Dark Chocolate Indulge. Petty Indulgences. When you're A Glass Of Wine And Let The Body’s Hit The Floor. When Your Glass Of Wine Is Running Short And You Say Heck What Of It. Why Dont I Have Another. Bartender I Am A Glass Of Wine. Bottoms Up And The Devil Laughs. The Bartender Remembers When It Happened. They All Remember When It Happened And If They Knew That You Dont Remember Then They Would Know That Something Is Awry Here Or So They Would Think. Something Would Be Amiss Or Smells Fishy. So Theyre All Relating There Stories Of Where They Were When That Event Happened And The Eyes Move Clockwise About The Room Where We All Share Our Glass Of Wine And Suddenly The Clock Ticks To You And They Ask The Fatal Question That Destroys Your Reputation, The Question You Could Never Answer, The Dead Giveaway: Where Were You When The Bodies Hit The Floor


lidsmichelle
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10 Jul 2017, 2:41 pm

will@rd wrote:
When the worst moments of your life come, when the shit-storm hits and you have NO ONE to turn to, to talk to, to lean on even for moral support - when the world is literally eating you alive, as a ravenous, bilious monster, and all the NTs treat you like an animal to be subdued and beaten - then, you will understand the value and importance of a true friend, a loyal partner. But it will be too late. You will be crushed in the social machine, spit out into the wilderness, broken and bloodied, and die - alone.

What? Too much? 8O It's the truth.

Forget about pie-in-the-sky romance, it's temporary, and it never ends well - just look at Romeo and Juliet. They may be fictional, but their story is an archetypal template, for a tragedy that has been played out millions of times in the real world. What's important are friendship, bonding and allegiance.

Ok there edgelord.


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Herein You Will Find Various And Numerous And Innumerable Hexes, Curses, Words In The Old Tongue To Cleave A’Twain Friend, Foe, Family Alike. If You So Choose. Money Hates Me, God Hates Me, My Wife Hates Me, My Own Hands Hate Me. But Thats All Beside The Point. The Point Is That My Time Here On Earth Runs Short. Im Not Dying But You All Are. Im A Glass Of Wine. Nothing Beats A Glass Of Wine. When The Kids Arent Home And Your A Mother Theres A Glass Of Wine There. A Glass Coffee Table And I’m A Glass Of Wine. Stressful Day When The Kids And you're Husband Then Glass Of Wine. Dark Chocolate Indulge. Petty Indulgences. When you're A Glass Of Wine And Let The Body’s Hit The Floor. When Your Glass Of Wine Is Running Short And You Say Heck What Of It. Why Dont I Have Another. Bartender I Am A Glass Of Wine. Bottoms Up And The Devil Laughs. The Bartender Remembers When It Happened. They All Remember When It Happened And If They Knew That You Dont Remember Then They Would Know That Something Is Awry Here Or So They Would Think. Something Would Be Amiss Or Smells Fishy. So Theyre All Relating There Stories Of Where They Were When That Event Happened And The Eyes Move Clockwise About The Room Where We All Share Our Glass Of Wine And Suddenly The Clock Ticks To You And They Ask The Fatal Question That Destroys Your Reputation, The Question You Could Never Answer, The Dead Giveaway: Where Were You When The Bodies Hit The Floor


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11 Jul 2017, 2:51 am

lidsmichelle wrote:
Being in a relationship has made me happier. Then again, I'm also not straight lmao. Having a supportive presence in your life, someone you sleep beside and go experience new things with and who you can talk to about your dreams and fears and all that is nice. I always thought friends were more important, but now that I'm aware I'm a lesbian and dating a woman I realize they're pretty equally important and a good relationship provides you with things a friendship does not. Namely romantic and sexual intimacy.

A relationship won't fix your problems and if it's bad it won't make you happy but it can definitely make you happIER.


Glad its made you happier.

Straight, lesbian, asexual or other, nearly everyone needs somebody to love for wellbeing an healthy living.



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11 Jul 2017, 3:00 am

lidsmichelle wrote:
will@rd wrote:
When the worst moments of your life come, when the shit-storm hits and you have NO ONE to turn to, to talk to, to lean on even for moral support - when the world is literally eating you alive, as a ravenous, bilious monster, and all the NTs treat you like an animal to be subdued and beaten - then, you will understand the value and importance of a true fr

Hes rxaggerating, iend, a loyal partner. But it will be too late. You will be crushed in the social machine, spit out into the wilderness, broken and bloodied, and die - alone.

What? Too much? 8O It's the truth.

Forget about pie-in-the-sky romance, it's temporary, and it never ends well - just look at Romeo and Juliet. They may be fictional, but their story is an archetypal template, for a tragedy that has been played out millions of times in the real world. What's important are friendship, bonding and allegiance.

Ok there edgelord.


He's exaggerating, but I think he's right.

We live in a cold, cruel world. At the end of the day we all just want somebody to love because no one gives a damn about you or me, so just one person makes all the difference.

If that one person isn't there, than you've got no one.

Most people just care about what they can get from you and not who you are.

Our teachers, bosses, etc. Don't really care except for a very basic level of human respect if it'll make it easier to get something out of you.

Most bosses care about their employees wellbeing to make the employee work harder and bring them the $.

Even many peoples families pretend to care just to get money loans or driven somehwere or whatever.

Love and friendship is the warmth of our lives.



Shahunshah
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11 Jul 2017, 3:17 am

Delete.



Last edited by Shahunshah on 11 Jul 2017, 8:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

Aaron Rhodes
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11 Jul 2017, 7:14 am

^ You misunderstood what edgelord means. So calm down there edgy.