Why is ASD diagnosis detrimental to romantic success?

Post Reply New Topic

That's a non-answer. Do people with AS fall in love less? Are they less in love when they do? You can't just throw random numbers around and say "aspies have a minus 5-10 to the infatuation stat!"

I'm unsure how that would work. It is ASD that is a subset of NDs, not the reverse. ASD is perhaps at 1%, and NDs are at 15%. Thus, it has to be the reverse. However, perhaps some of the characteristics of ASD that lead to failure are unusual in NDs? Or perhaps those characteristics are cultural, like trying to mimic the relationship behavior of NTs?

I think I answered that one in the opening post. Yes, people diagnosed with AS were less likely to have a crush, and also less likely to be in love or a relationship.



Perhaps. At least if you judge by infatuation score.



I don't think we should use the term "aspie" here. It's unknown what that is. Some people believe it is diagnosed AS, while other believe part or all of neurodiversity is included too.

If ASD is a subset of NDs, then that means that many NDs could have "relationship success" characteristics that also result in them not being diagnosed with ASD. They'd have ND traits but not an ASD diagnosis, as you said.

Of course. That is one possibility. The other is that the failure of those with early ASD diagnosis to get into relationships is because they go about it in the wrong way. Could also be a mixture of both.

But this also means that the social problems in ASD diagnoses are at least somewhat related to relationships, which is not part of diagnostic criteria, but perhaps should be.

You have left out a lot of possibilities. Further, a diagnosis is not detrimental to romantic success. A diagnosis is simply a label for a condition. The condition can be detrimental.

That being said, in my case it was that I often said a lot of stupid stuff to females without really knowing why it was hurtful. Couple that with social anxiety and being awkward and that will lead to lack of romantic success.

Only if the diagnosis is set based on traits that are detrimental to romantic success. If the diagnosis is set early in life before people have romantic interests, it cannot be based on such traits. So, basically, if people that got diagnosed early have a lot more problems getting into meaningful relationships than NDs and NTs of similar age that were not diagnosed, then we definitely can conclude it was caused by diagnosis, not a detrimental condition. OTOH, if the overrepresentation of these problems is in older people that got diagnosed after repeated failures with relationships, then it indeed could be based on detrimental traits, and diagnosis in itself is not the cause.

In my data, the average age is 30, so I think this is not clear, and I don't ask when people got diagnosed.



Those are not specific ASD traits, rather they are ND traits, and thus, are not detrimental to romantic success.

Both of these things sound wrong on way too many levels to be even remotely possible.

Because we are different so we don't fit in as well, thus it can be harder to find a relationship.

I didn't find a real committed relationship until I was 26, before that it was like glorified one night stands...like I'd meet up with the guy more than once, we'd have sex and after a while they'd move on. Or it was guys who really did like me but had other crap in their own lives in the way and regardless of any of my protests broke it off with me...and I am not a creep so I certainly wasn't going to push the issue with them further just had to move on. So yeah it took me till 26 to actually find romantic success.

Looking back if this was my first relationship, I wouldn't be missing anything by not having had those past relationship attempts. I mean maybe I gained some experience with sex and being affectionate but nothing I wouldn't have gained with my current boyfriend.

So when did you get your ASD diagnosis (you are diagnosed right?) compared to your early failures and your current bf?

I believe I am less likely to become infatuated with someone and fall in love with someone than those of the general population, and I think this would be the case regardless of whether or not I had a diagnoses.

When I was 23, and I don't think it really changed much as far as dating for me....I think I gradually became a bit more accepting of myself after the diagnoses and maybe a little bit of confidence so I wasn't so desperate to please guys hoping to get them to stick around and focused more on what I wanted in a relationship to, but that certainly wasn't right away.