Marknis wrote:
I used to post on this forum when I was 18 and the depression I suffer from kicked in. When I told others I was depressed for being single at 18, they either laughed at me or talked down on me. They would say things like "Stop whining, you're only 18!" like I was trying to compete with them.
This didn't help me at all. It made me even more depressed and ten years later I still haven't escaped the vicious cycle I've been trapped in. If I had been given more supportive posts, I think my life would've gone in a better direction.
It seems to me that you have three choices (use them all as needed, they aren't mutually exclusive):
1) Challenge the hurtful opinions/statements of others with your own proofs ("No, you are wrong. Here's why...."),
2) Cast them as the villains for being so intentionally hurtful ("How dare you say that about me?"), and
3) Laugh them off, and act as if they are beneath your notice and care ("Oh. You actually believe that? Who are you?!?").
One of life's truisms is the statement, "Living well is the best revenge." It encourages learning to feel comfortable in your own life. No one has a perfect life, but most have good lives because they have found a happy balance between the "too little" and "too much" parts of life's spectrum.
I stopped dating precisely because I resented the behaviors and comments of others
during the date itself! Sure, I miss meeting people who might be good potential partners, but the calm I have in my life now can't be beat. I have learned that I don't
need another person in my life. Of course, others' mileage may vary.