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Nicnic
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 12 Nov 2012
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 15

14 Aug 2017, 3:25 pm

Hi, could you give me any recommendations for my dating profile? I know I am in a wheelchair, and slightly autistic but it still feels like I am getting less interest than I should. It's been 3 months and I haven't found anyone. Does it sound too much like a resume for a job? Do my pictures suck? Do I come across as too nice? Is my username not cool? I honestly have no idea what to write.

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Sciencefalcon

As far as messaging goes I usually just bring up something I notice that I have in common then I ask one sentence question specific to the profile. I do get responses sometimes but it never gets offline.



0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

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Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,208
Location: London

14 Aug 2017, 4:22 pm

Put a shorter and to the point paragraph at the top that sums you up, to allow them to read on should they wish.

It is a little like a interview tbh. Yes. you are selling yourself, but you are pitching as a boyfriend not an employee. Given your age, you don't need to over emphasise the provider angle, which is perhaps a tad implicit. People your age are more about just enjoying their time together typically.

I understand the angle of positivity and self-determination, though be careful to do that in a way that doesn't come across as too defensive. A little self-deprecation and easy going nature can go a long way. Do you have a sense of humour?

You haven't said much about social life hobbies, the sort of person you are looking for and what you are open doing on dates.

Don't get me wrong some people focus too much on that, it is a balance.

BTW many intelligent, inquisitive and intellectually minded people don't consider themselves "an intellectual". You set quite a high bar, and people might be put off by that.

People might find it hard to know what to write when they send you a message. Make sure that not only do they have something to go on, but it is not simply a comparison but results in a conversation. With that in mind, how about pose and question to anyone would would want to contact you? I'm not talking about disability. Keep it simple.

With any kind of social media site you have to consider how they are going to find you, no matter how sophisticated the algorithm you you want to be smart, in order not to attract hit from suitable matches and not waste other people's time.

I have a good friend who is non-verbal on the spectrum has CP, and although he semi mobile needs the chair a lot due to the fatigue from his muscles and gait. Certainly being upfront about disability is good, but maybe don't make it the first sentence, put something about your personality first.

Alternately you can just put a picture of yourself in you chair and not mention it at all. If they haven't noticed by then that is a talking point for sure :lol: