Why do girls want cocky, arrogant guys?

Page 4 of 29 [ 455 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ... 29  Next

vetivert
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,768

04 Aug 2005, 1:28 am

absolutely - generalising is usually a baaaaaaaad idea.



Malcolm_Scipo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,007

04 Aug 2005, 5:37 am

chamoisee wrote:
I don't. I find such males (I hardly consider them "men") to be very off-putting and unappealing.

Qualities that are appealing to me in the male species:

gentleness
decency
honesty, including (and most importantly) honesty with oneself
fairness
aesthetic taste
intelligence
a logical, rational mind
humility tempered with a healthy self esteem and a realistic amount of confidence
the quality of being able to recognize and admit whether or not they are competent/knowledgeable in an area: I despise it when a man tries to fake knowing something that he doesn't just to seem impressive. There is no weakness in not knowing *everything*! !


[/b]

You are a logical, good person. You rock! You rock! You are officially on my list of people who will inherit the Earth after the infidels are dealt with. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


_________________
THOUGHT IT WAS THE END.
THOUGHT IT WAS THE 4TH OF JULY.
I WOKE UP AND THEN I REALISED,
I WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO EMULATE.
INSTEAD A SHADOW OF FORMER GLORY.
AND THEN I CRIED.


hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

04 Aug 2005, 6:36 am

I would only use cocky males for sex.

I wouldn't even bother with clingy oversensitive insecure drips.

A confident, non nerdy, outgoing and laid back guy would be just perfect.



thatrsdude
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,178
Location: SA, Australia

04 Aug 2005, 6:42 am

Well you won't want me then. I'm an unconfident nerd.


_________________
255 characters max. Type your signature with HTML coding


Malcolm_Scipo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,007

04 Aug 2005, 6:53 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I would only use cocky males for sex.

I wouldn't even bother with clingy oversensitive insecure drips.

A confident, non nerdy, outgoing and laid back guy would be just perfect.

So you have a good social life. Good for you. I have not really got much of one.


_________________
THOUGHT IT WAS THE END.
THOUGHT IT WAS THE 4TH OF JULY.
I WOKE UP AND THEN I REALISED,
I WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO EMULATE.
INSTEAD A SHADOW OF FORMER GLORY.
AND THEN I CRIED.


jmatucd
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 242

04 Aug 2005, 8:20 am

rofl

This is a nice little inquisiti-- er discussion we have going here

Might I ask what this means:

Quote:
honesty with oneself


You mean we can't be in denial about not deserving you? Or perhaps this touches upon realizing your pet martian is just a poodle who hasn't bathed in quite some time and is wondering where her trophy-wife owner has been at. How nefarious and dastardly.


I guess it makes sense to cozy up with someone who will be violent and treat you like s**t. After all, it seems that is what you are after *hides behind the great book of generalizations*

-- sleep, its a wonderful thing when you get some


_________________
Woof, Bark ( jmat )


Malcolm_Scipo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,007

04 Aug 2005, 8:33 am

jmatucd wrote:
rofl

This is a nice little inquisiti-- er discussion we have going here

Might I ask what this means:
Quote:
honesty with oneself


You mean we can't be in denial about not deserving you? Or perhaps this touches upon realizing your pet martian is just a poodle who hasn't bathed in quite some time and is wondering where her trophy-wife owner has been at. How nefarious and dastardly.


I guess it makes sense to cozy up with someone who will be violent and treat you like sh**. After all, it seems that is what you are after *hides behind the great book of generalizations*

-- sleep, its a wonderful thing when you get some

Can I join you in hiding behind the great book of generalisations?


_________________
THOUGHT IT WAS THE END.
THOUGHT IT WAS THE 4TH OF JULY.
I WOKE UP AND THEN I REALISED,
I WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO EMULATE.
INSTEAD A SHADOW OF FORMER GLORY.
AND THEN I CRIED.


jmatucd
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 242

04 Aug 2005, 8:47 am

It is a very exclusive book! You cannot touch it. You must wear a yellow pancho and swear you will never touch it! These are my conditions. Never question any conditions regarding the book of generalization, for the book knows no mercy you poor soul!

heh

don't get me started on kanagroos, penguins, or any other creature worthy of mockery and praise


_________________
Woof, Bark ( jmat )


jmatucd
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 242

04 Aug 2005, 8:48 am

oh my god. I just found out you can PM yourself.

All is lost.


*runs*, the great book of generalizations will not protect me this time!


_________________
Woof, Bark ( jmat )


Yupa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 May 2005
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,520
Location: Florida

04 Aug 2005, 9:55 am

chamoisee wrote:
honesty, including (and most importantly) honesty with oneself

Honesty may be a virtue, but it d*mned well isn't healthy, and I know that for a fact. From experience. People lie and hide things for a good reason. We live in a world where being open about yourself with anyone can degrade you and destroy your soul, where being dishonest with yourself is the ultimate key to security and the best way of dealing with the troubles you've left behind. Think on it.


Malcolm_Scipo wrote:
after the infidels are dealt with.

I am an infidel.



jmatucd
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 242

04 Aug 2005, 10:05 am

hurry infidel! there is still time to hide behind the book of generalizations! It's not too late, you can make it


_________________
Woof, Bark ( jmat )


Malcolm_Scipo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,007

04 Aug 2005, 10:13 am

Yupa wrote:
chamoisee wrote:
honesty, including (and most importantly) honesty with oneself

Honesty may be a virtue, but it d*mned well isn't healthy, and I know that for a fact. From experience. People lie and hide things for a good reason. We live in a world where being open about yourself with anyone can degrade you and destroy your soul, where being dishonest with yourself is the ultimate key to security and the best way of dealing with the troubles you've left behind. Think on it.


Malcolm_Scipo wrote:
after the infidels are dealt with.

I am an infidel.

YOu may become one.....


_________________
THOUGHT IT WAS THE END.
THOUGHT IT WAS THE 4TH OF JULY.
I WOKE UP AND THEN I REALISED,
I WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO EMULATE.
INSTEAD A SHADOW OF FORMER GLORY.
AND THEN I CRIED.


Lionize
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jul 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 32

04 Aug 2005, 10:34 am

Yupa wrote:
chamoisee wrote:
honesty, including (and most importantly) honesty with oneself

Honesty may be a virtue, but it d*mned well isn't healthy, and I know that for a fact. From experience. People lie and hide things for a good reason. We live in a world where being open about yourself with anyone can degrade you and destroy your soul, where being dishonest with yourself is the ultimate key to security and the best way of dealing with the troubles you've left behind. Think on it.


Now, speaking from first-hand experience, I know that's not true.

Honesty to others? Yeah, you're right, that can indeed be harmful, if you're open with the wrong people about the wrong things. Letting others know your true feelings about anything does leave you open and vulnerable for some sort of unjust retribution, so caution's always a good thing. If you look at all the great stars of our era, they have an aura of mystery about them. Why is Bob Dylan considered the greatest popular musician of the 20th century? Because even in his autobiography he lies, tells half-truths or speaks through omission. He is an enigma, a puzzle to be unravelled with a few tantilizing pieces, and that makes him exciting. It also made him a miserable husband, apparently, although he's a good father according to his kids.

But lying to yourself only stores away things you're going to need to come to terms with sooner or later. If you yourself don't know your own mind, you are fundamentally not confident, no matter how blustery you are, and this in the end is a greater problem than being a wishy-washy hand-wringer. People who lie to themselves may do well in the short term, but when problems catch up that they cannot bluster away, they collapse like a house of cards.

Again, I'm not saying it's easy or that I succeed at doing it, because I don't. I wring my hands or bluster way more often than I should. But if you are open with yourself and can project that openness outward, you can be wise and not spill your deepest secrets to everyone while still having a good handle on the world around you. You'd be amazed at how many problems you solve by stopping and saying "what's up with me?" rather than "what's up with the world around me?" The world around us has gotten faster and smaller but hasn't really changed in basic principle for the past few millenia. Look at the stories that're told in the earliest works of literature and history: people are jerks to each other. Bad things happen to good people. Wars break out. Politics becomes a religion. Religions become political. One of the coolest things I found in college was that in reading works from the ancient world that certain fundamental truths still haven't changed much since the times when people first realized their existences. It's you who's the difference in every case, and it's frequently you who determines the outcome - so you'd better have a good grip on what you're thinking or doing, or you'll come to regret it.

Eh, this is getting a little too "deep-yet-trite philosophy" for this sort of discussion, I think. I've been trying to avoid the phrase "to thine own self be true" so often because in the context of where it comes from (Polonius in "Hamlet") it's a terrible satirical joke - the guy who says it is a pompous blowhard who's never true to himself and has just finished giving his son very specific instructions on what to feel. So take that as you will.

Is there room behind that book of generalities? I might need to hide there for awhile. I'll pay rent and my share of the utility bills!



vetivert
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,768

04 Aug 2005, 11:04 am

there's also the little matter of diplomacy. i have learned - to my cost, alas - that being honest all the time isn't the best way to keep a relationship afloat. sometimes, it IS better to holdyour tongue, because i'm afraid that people often don't want to hear the truth (as you perceive it) about themselves, and this goes for most people, aspies and NTs alike. there's a time and a place ofr everything, is what i'm saying, i suppose.

for example, my spiritual path means that i am constantly on the lookout to find out more about me, my strengths and my limitations, so i can develop the former, and change whatever i can about the latter. not everyone wishes to have all this information about themselves, especially their limitations (i'm accused of "slagging people off" sometimes, when i kindly (to my eyes) point them out).

i try not to think of this "not telling" as dishonesty, but as going to where people are, or judicious consideration of whether it's the right time/place/circumstance to tell that person. this involves knowing the person, by the way. i suppose the watchword is: "if in doubt, don't".

and i don't mean dishonesty or deciet either, cos that makes me incandescent with rage - i LOATHE deceit.



Absolute_Zero
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Dec 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 643
Location: New Brunswick, Canada

04 Aug 2005, 11:22 am

Hale_bopp, you need what my sister has, an arrogant, confident nerd. My sister's boyfriend of 2 years is a computer geek who works on mining haul trucks for $80,000 a year. He's not a girly man by any means but he is quite eccentric, often quoting starwars and stuff like that.
Anytime she has a problem with creditors or someone is trying to screw her over (just anything typical like ordering a cellphone or the airline losing her baggage). He gets right on the phone and right in their face and sorts things out really quickly. He will do almost anything for her and it's no figure of speech for him either.
You remind me alot of her for some reason and that's what she used to go after too, the so called "alphas" with the nice cars and the right things to say all the time.

Go find a supernerd my dear, you might not be disappointed.



SINsister
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2005
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,435
Location: Pandaria

04 Aug 2005, 11:49 am

Yupa wrote:
Honesty may be a virtue, but it d*mned well isn't healthy, and I know that for a fact. From experience. People lie and hide things for a good reason. We live in a world where being open about yourself with anyone can degrade you and destroy your soul, where being dishonest with yourself is the ultimate key to security and the best way of dealing with the troubles you've left behind. Think on it.


Hehe - denial ain't just a river in Egypt... :roll:


_________________
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

~Steve Jobs