Rules of Attraction for Aspie Women

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It was somewhere between one and two weeks from meeting her that her grandma died, so there wasn’t much of our relationship that occurred before her loss. We we’re still getting to know each other then as we still are, but the theme of our relationship for the most part has been dealing with this loss.

Another thing about her that I forgot to mention in my OP was that she is very shy too. She’s very, very guarded, but that’s not surprising to me considered the way that most people like us are treated growing up. She said her last boyfriend dumped her really badly and that the only reason he went out with her in the first place was because they were both autistic. It’s been about two years since then, and it doesn’t sound like he was a great guy to begin anyway. I keep trying to convince her that I am not this man. Trying to convince her to give me just one chance to show how generous and loving I can be to and how deep a connection I want with a woman. I keep telling her how beautiful she is (she is very pretty, none of those compliments come from flattery), how much I care about her well-being, and how I can’t wait to spoil her this Valentine’s Day.

I guess I worry sometimes about coming on too strong, which has been a problem for me in the past, but every time I ask her if I am, she just laughs it off and tells me that she likes the attention I give her and the questions I ask her. She says she likes me and is willing to give me a chance and that she’ll let me know when she’s ready to talk. She even told me one time that I’m “cute.” Now correct me if I’m wrong ladies, but you usually use the word “cute” to describe a guy that you’re attracted to sexually right? I mean, whenever I’ve heard a woman use that word, it’s because she’s really into him; his looks and otherwise.

Well I hope the space between us is just a combination of her shyness and the bad loss that she’s going through. I tell her all the time that I’m right here and available for anytime that she wants to talk. I hope my actions and words haven’t been interpreted as pressure, but it seems like she’s alright with how I’m working her.

Sinsboldly, your point is a valid one, about if I haven’t received her number yet I may not ever get it. It’s kind of where my fears are originating. I certainly hope that is not the case here, but every indication I’ve seen tells me to wait and be patient. Then again, I’m AS and my ability to read and predict one’s feelings and intention isn’t 100% obviously.

I certainly know about not being able to read people very well! And I know all about someone being guarded as to protect a tender heart!
you sound like you could be a good boyfriend, Darkness, already thinking about Valentine's Day. you sound like the kind of man that would look forward to the joy you can bring when you give someone you like very much some lovely surprise. Hang in there, and send her your friendly upbeat messages of respectful regard. Even if nothing comes of it, you will have done the right thing and gotten a lot of experience in being a stand up guy.
hey, that should be on the top of the list, A Woman, Aspie or not, wants a Stand Up guy!


Merle

She met a new guy at work and now only likes me as a friend. Once again, I'm feeling really great about myself.

we women creep out easily,

sorry.


Merle

Well what was I supossed to do? Tell that I don't care and to take her greif elsewhere? I don't understand. Women say they want to be loved and feel secure and I thought that sticking by her during this time of need would prove both to her. Sometimes I just don't understand women. I'm generous, sensitive to their feelings, loyal, have goals in life, and very loving. Yet I'm always the one that's pushed aside.

I'm sorry this happened, Dark.

Ask her to go somewhere and do something with you. If she says yes, she likes you.

I do and they always say no or give an excuse. Ah, just forget it. I don't have the heart for this anymore. My brain just isn't built to comprehend the significance of "the game." I just want to find someone without the BS, but it comes with the territory. I'm shutting myself away again.