The worst part

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...the absolute Worst part about this business of romantic relationships is just how little control
you have over it. That goes for being single and wanting to change it IMMEDIATELY; it goes for being in a relationshop and having the other person defect on you. I often wonder why being single or NOT being single is something that seems to be uncontrollable and its unknowable for me right now when that will change.

It's at times like this we overanalyse these things, try really hard to find some sort of meaning to the chaotic mess that is human relations. I know I've been doing that constantly. Maybe it's why NTs get drunk and find it's the only way they can let go enough to meet someone. If there was a logic to it all we'd all have partners now.

But yes, I know the frustration well, the fact you feel helpless, you struggle to understand how you can do something to get things going RIGHT NOW. And all the while there are people out there who just do it, drop of a hat and all that. What do they have that we don't? More questions that just get in the way.

When someone leaves you it's like the floor goes out from under you, what can you do? And if you try to talk about it to most people they back away, not wanting to get involved. No wonder we feel even worse.

I found this to be a rather interesting philosophy in life... for example, in another thread I was making a star trek example talking about how if you only have a spock element to your character with no mccoy element to balance it out, you're not getting the complete picture...

They have backups! Those are the people that string others along with lies. When they are already in a relationship, they are already seeking new ones or they keep open the possibilities of going back to old ones.

I think people do have a lot of control over whether or not they are single!

I'd guess that you either aren't trying hard enough or you expect too much out of the other person.

Oh Im trying' HARD alright! But if you have some suggestions Im certainly open to them.

Suggestions:

make more money
join clubs
play sports
talk to every person of the opposite sex that you see whether you are attracted to that person or not
get off of your damn computer and GO OUT!

Well, I'm 3 for 5 in that category (I need to make more money and I don't play sports)... unless by "GO OUT!" you exclusively mean go clubbing or something, in which case I'm 2 for 5...

I also take a loose interpretation of "join clubs", as I put in something like 20 hrs/week volunteering at my church, and the people there are sort of my "club" in a sense, although most of them are much older than me...

I talk to many women all the time, and it's especially easy so long as I don't let things get romantic... that's when I seize up...

Nope, I don't mean to go clubbing. I just mean to go to wherever there are people.

Join clubs w/ women your age.

Also, you might want to try online dating and live speed dating.

My main problem with the whole "clubbing" thing, as well as online dating and speed dating, is that it seems WAY too shallow for what I really need... I would rather have one meaningful relationship with a woman than 100 dates... not to mention the club atmosphere is too noisy and makes me uncomfortable in most cases...

Well, how are you going to meet that woman if you don't put yourself out there?



Then don't go clubbing, but that's no reason not to try online or speed dating.

GR8T IDEAS! Absolutely BRILLIANT..........................
I sure *never* would've thought of such things myself. If your idea of going out is going to clubs/bars well then suck it bro.
Im not in the mood for some flirty drunk slut to come on to me and then leave me with a phoney phone #.

How are you going to find a meaningful relationship if you don't go out on 100 dates?

I only needed 3 dates-third time lucky! 11 months on Sunday!

It's like S Club 7 say:

Don't stop
Never give up
Hold your head high
And reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you!

Dream of falling in love
Anything you've been thinking of
When the world seems to get too tough
Bring it all back to you!

Lol

Because I take everything in reverse order... I want to know someone before I go on a date with them...