Touch Hypersensitivity

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Hi all, I'm curious - I usually cannot stand being touched, if I'm not expecting it, it's like being scalded. Short backstory, I never kissed anybody growing up. I never understood why pecking people on the cheek was so commonplace, especially between mother-child. A longtime friend cried because I didn't hug her when she moved away to another province, because of my aversion to expressing emotion/whatever. No experience with anything sexual before this, I was a right 'frigid' one, my promiscuous friends enjoyed teasing me about this for years until they dropped it for some reason, I guess they matured. But now, after having a significant other (long distance, was terribly anxious about the whole issue when I met him the first time); it seems to be the exact opposite. The lightest touch will be electric, and even him just applying pressure on my neck drives me wild. He doesn't understand why it feels so good to me. Is it just the person doing the touching, how close you are to them? Is it common to have both extremes?

Maybe you are very comfortable with this person, and yes I think it's probably common to be both extreemes.
Because my closest friend is very touch averse but with me he's affectionate and likes it when I touch him.

I am a bit similar.
So in same situations when other people maybe dream about sex, I dream about for examble holding a hand of the person or hugging a bit, because it is miraculous enough for me. More would be too much.
So my heaven is nothing for others

I have been dreaming about lover who would like only hugging and holding hands style forever.
But could never find.
Who could appriciate expressions of love which others see as nothing, maybe because they are not so sensitive they hardly notice it what is miraculous to me.

Light touch makes me want to scream. I can handle heavy pressure, like hugs and massage. Is there any kind of touch you can tolerate?

Don't beat yourself up for being who you are. I think we're all designed the way we are for a good reason.

I can relate to all of this.

I never touch my family or friends, in any way, and hate it if they touch me. But when I'm interested in someone romanticaly the slightest touch sends shivers down my spine, but in a good way. So yeah even if it's not common to go from one extreme to the other you're ceartainly not alone.

And I could happily have a loving relationship without sex, as long as there was enought general effection. I like sex, but I find things like having my neck kissed or just holding someone really tightly far more intense.

I learned this trick from my daughter's PT. I work in the medical field (I am only a Medical Assistant not a doctor. I would recommend to ask your doctor if it is okay before trying this) and I have easy access to scrub brushes. (You know the brush with soap that surgeons use to wash and scrub their hands). Take one of those and apply slight pressure (push as hard as a hug) and rub it all around your body. Do not do this to any sensitive areas (including face, genitals...etc.) The alternate therapy is to use a body puff or play in a sand box (if you are young enough). I found this helped my daughter in many ways. It even calmed her down, and help her focus in school. I did this 1-3 times a day, depending on how much she can tolerate. Some days she couldn't tolerate the brush, so I let her play and clean her with the body puff in the bath with warm water.

I don't like being touched when I am not expecting it, or if it's by someone I don't want touching me. It feels like they are violating my personal space or something. I just hate it when someone comes up to me out of the blue, pats me on the shoulders, and says "hey, hows it going?". lol

I can only tell about my experiences, take what you want, leave the rest