do you find autistic girls attractive?

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hale_bopp
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07 Sep 2009, 7:30 pm

No more or less than anyone else... I can't say as I'm not gay or bi.

In terms of attractive.. all I can judge is on aspie males i've met in real life.. and the answer to that is no. :/



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07 Sep 2009, 9:37 pm

I was just thinking about this whole business of attaraction in realtion to a discussion I was having with a friend earlier on today.

But I also work from a thesis that contends that personality is unique, and while a disorder can alter and influence personality to an extent, it would seem that even on the autistic spectrum (in my opinion at least), there is still a full range of personalities at play.

So then to the question at hand. I haven't had much to do with the autistic community at large. A lot of people remain undiagnosed or are able to fit in to the NT world a little better. I have one female friend who I am pretty certain is at least mildly AS, and while she is pretty cool and is into maths and physics and is quite attractive, I just know she is not my type exactly. I would like to say I have met other girls I could say were possibly on the spectrum, but I think it takes time to get to know with some people.

But tying this back in to the whole thing of personality and attraction. I think while I would like to meet someone onthe spectrum because it immediately means that things like the problems of communication and social skills are understood, it also becomes a case of me being scared off by the lack of verbal communication. My most successful relationship to date (although my most emotionally fraught for me) was with someone who was very NT, loud, bubbly, gregarious (but probably mildly bi-polar).

So is it a case of even though we are all on the spectrum, we all are different personality types, and therefore may not necessarily attract people on the spectrum, but people who more suit out personality type?


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11 Sep 2009, 7:38 pm

I've only known two who were in my social transitions class during high school. They both were hideously ugly and awkward but that's only two people. So really, I can't judge all autistic girls and I won't.



Rhapsody
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11 Sep 2009, 11:01 pm

No, but I’m not attracted to girls anyway.

I have met a lot of aspie guys though, and they usually scare me. They’re so intense and focused and a lot of them are loud. I tend to avoid them whenever possible. But I avoid everyone else with similar characteristics (except my brother, but I can't really get rid of him, can I?), so it’s nothing with aspie guys in particular I guess.

I do have one guy friend with AS, but I can’t stand to be around him for long periods of time. I like him better than most of the guys I meet at AS support groups though. But he’s a friend from high school, and I had to work with him last year so maybe I just developed a tolerance for him.



CelticGoddess
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11 Sep 2009, 11:41 pm

I'm an Aspie, and I've dated a few Aspies guys and they've been awesome. I've met some pretty good looking Aspie women too. I think it's just like everything else. There's good looking and not so good looking women/men no matter where you look...aspie or not.



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12 Sep 2009, 12:37 am

Never met an aspie girl before. Heck, never met an aspie in real life before either.

To me, it wouldn't matter honestly. Aesthetic qualities are practically on the bottom of my list when I judge a girl. What I care about more is whether or not they actually care about my wellbeing. That alone makes somebody my friend. Sad that I only have 2 friends then.



Tim_Tex
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12 Sep 2009, 1:43 pm

For many guys on here, it doesn't sound like it's an issue of them being attractive, but more of the mindset of a female Aspie being the best they can ever hope for.


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LePetitPrince
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12 Sep 2009, 1:45 pm

I find their green skins and their antennas very sexy...



Aqua_Dragon
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12 Sep 2009, 4:36 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
For many guys on here, it doesn't sound like it's an issue of them being attractive, but more of the mindset of a female Aspie being the best they can ever hope for.


I would have imagined the two to be synonymous. Typically, there seems to be a correlation between attractiveness and beauty. But I digress - many people may not see that as true.

To answer the actual question then, I would expect no less of an Aspie girl as from any other one. Some will learn how to dress their best all the time, while others will prefer to ignore it and just put on whatever they want to. The same as any other regular people.



SDFarsight
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12 Sep 2009, 7:27 pm

I would like to have an aspie partner, but each time I've gotten to know an aspie girl I've found that they're either:

A: Too frigid, even by Aspie standards.

B: Already has a boyfriend.

C: Too frigid and already has a boyfriend, though god knows how.

And that's after knowing ALOT of Aspie girls in person. Wish is why I've pretty much given up on the idea of 'find someone who you have alot in common with= Aspie perfect partner' :roll: I've now been much more successful in dating NT girls (and one special one :))

But don't let that put you off from searching guys, maybe you are more favoured by fate.


As for phyisical attractiveness, I've found that they are just as varied as NTs; though that's strictly Aspies, not other autism. There was one Aspie girl in my college Aspie room that was quite possibly the most attractive girl in the college. *nods*



Last edited by SDFarsight on 12 Sep 2009, 8:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

idiocratik
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12 Sep 2009, 7:44 pm

I prefer anyone who can be on the same page as me without making a bunch of stupid assumptions.


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Tim_Tex
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12 Sep 2009, 8:43 pm

What does frigid mean?


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Briana
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12 Sep 2009, 9:51 pm

I think there is a fine line between beauty and attractiveness. People tend to find the same traits attractive. But men are usually attracted to a woman's beauty instead of her personality. In this case aspie girls arent all attractive, if aspie males arent either. If every woman and every man looked the same, had the same financial staus, and everything/ Well let's say that the world was in extreme socialism and everyone looked the same and no one was more successful than the other. What would be attractive then. This is where aspies as a whole may succeed or fail as one. These men dont really like most of these women, they just want sex. This is why aspie girls are attractive.
Why do men call women beautiful, the rape them? because they like their beauty, but hate them as a person or is not attracted to them as a whole.
So are autistic girls really attractive? it depends on what personaluity traits you find attractive. If one likes shy, introverted, awkwards girls (all of us aspies are awkward to NTs), then thats what floats your boat. But most guys just like shy girls because they think they are stupid and naive and can get in their pants quicker.
So thats how it is.



Teung
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12 Sep 2009, 11:25 pm

oppositedirection wrote:
Teung wrote:
shy and innocent (because that is really attractive).
I never can tell when people are being sarcastic… If you were forced to socialise with a group of ten people I’d naturally gravitate towards the quieter ones, largely because we’d be more likely to have a similar personality and hence compatibility. This is precisely how I’d feel about an awkward woman. That these traits could be intrinsically attractive (or indeed unattractive) is not something I really follow.


No, I really mean it. Sorry if I made it sound like I was sarcastic.

I'd pick an autistic shy girl over a noisy, bitchy NT girl anyday.



SplinterStar
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17 Sep 2009, 9:50 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
What does frigid mean?


Frigid means "emotionless b***h" if I'm not mistaken. Many people I know that apply for 'frigid'. Mind you, they are NT so I won't count them on the wrong planet.



SDFarsight
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17 Sep 2009, 10:17 am

SplinterStar wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
What does frigid mean?


Frigid means "emotionless b***h" if I'm not mistaken. Many people I know that apply for 'frigid'. Mind you, they are NT so I won't count them on the wrong planet.


Not necessarily unemotional and bitchy. Just so socially-phobic that it's like asexualism and epic shyness combined. Indeed one girl I knew did think she was asexual, though I'm sure some guy would eventually catch her heart someday.