This pretty much nails it on the head - relationship advice

Post Reply New Topic

I haven't been here in a while, but thought of this site when I read this. It's a post card submitted to the PostSecret project.

This actually applies to any relationship, but especially romantic ones. How you go about doing this depends on the person you're with (sorry - I know that's vague).

Welcome back to WP!

That is a good post card.

Works both ways, too. Don't let the guy feel unimportant either.

When I meet my future husband, he will never, ever be made to feel he is unimportant.

I disagree with that advice. Don't validate her unless she deserves it.

I wish you much luck with your future girlfiend, Praetorius. ^_^ Methinks you may need it.

Last edited by Veresae on 17 Aug 2008, 12:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

"If you really want her to stick around, don't ever let her feel unimportant..."

Good advice. Fnord's corollary:

"If you really want someone to stick around, don't ever let them feel less important than anyone or anything else, including you."

Constantly making your girlfriend feel important makes you come across as needy. If your girlfriend is being bitchy or abusive to you, making her feel important is not productive. And if you make her feel important all of the time, she is going to stop seeking validation from you because you're constantly giving it to her for free. She'll go to some other source. Girls like a challenge.

Hmm.

Yes.

and no.

Methinks that someone forgot to mention that women like to be built up, because they have trouble remembering sometimes that they are beautiful; per instance they may have parents who are verbally/mentally abusive to them and as such they don't feel loved at home, and as such when you show them this affection and caring and so forth, it reminds them that they are human. I do agree she may go to another source, but the only type that would do that is the type that just wants one thing...Sex, and if you're not giving, then she's not gonna stick around. But if it's the type of relationship and girl who strongly loves you for your complimenting and making her feel important, then that is a relationship that is destined for good.

There's a good chance, Praetorius, if the woman is 'bitchy' that she is feeling unappreciated and unloved. It's also possible she's mad at her boss or something...but if she's 'bitchy' toward her romantic partner? Maybe not at that moment but I'd say more dates and flowers could help. Or even just listening and holding her hand while she rants.

There've been times when I've been on a rant like that and what I really wanted was a big ol' hug. And longer term? To feel more appreciated and loved...

I'd even say a guaranteed relationship-killa is taking the other person for granted.

A woman needs to feel more important than anything else in her man's life, including his own needs. This explains why:

- A woman will interrupt her man with a phone call or visit to his office "Just to say 'I love you.'"
- A woman will wake her husband up "Just to talk."
- A woman will expect gifts on even the least significant holiday or anniversary.
- A woman will expect her man to attend a boring social function when he'd rather be home watching a game on TV.

Strange how a woman will remember every little detail of when she and her man first met (clothes, music, time of day, et cetera), but can't remember from one day to the next just how important she really is to her man.

"Do you love me? Do you love me now? Do you still love me? How about now? Or now? Or now? Do you still love me now? You don't love me, do you? No you don't! Really? Do you really, really love me? Well, how about tomorrow? Will you still love me tomorrow? The next day? Or the next? Tell me you love me..."

I thought about it and what's on that postcard is so true. That is what makes me feel so good, that I'm important and I matter to someone.

I think this goes for any relationship, romantic or otherwise. When I've felt most secure and happy, I've believed I was special, even indispensable to someone. A lot of my interpersonal relationships, however, have gone south when I have felt taken for granted, ignored or replaced. Many people would do well to remember this sort of advice.