Difference between 'crushes' and 'falling in love'?
Love is a completely different feeling from having a crush, and it is difficult to explain. You'll probably figure it out when it happens. A crush or infatuation could be confused with love, especially by a young person who has never been in love before. With a crush, you simply obsess and daydream about the person in question. I personally think that you have to know someone for many years before love can happen; love is somehow both more mellow and more intense than infatuation. Love is when the person in question drives you crazy, but you still don't know how you could live without them.
I'm not exactly young, I still enjoy crushes, and I regard them as love.
Right. That's what creates the strong attachment we typically call love.
No, love is less intense than infatuation. Infatuation is the strongest feeling I know of, and love is simply a strong bond with somebody that for me always starts with a crush.
A crush can last for quite some time, at least a few years. For me, a crush and obsessing about her is mandatory for love to develop. There simply is no other way to love. Everything else would be a friendship only.
Sweetleaf
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I am not so sure you have to know a person for a very long time before you love them, it didn't seem to take that long for me and my boyfriend to feel that way about each other though it was longer than a week before either of us was sure. But I do agree that you do have to actually get to know someone and accept them for who they are(not try to change this or that about them) before you could accurately say you love them...otherwise its more likely you just like the idea of being in love, but maybe not that person.
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Sweetleaf
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A crush can last for quite some time, at least a few years. For me, a crush and obsessing about her is mandatory for love to develop. There simply is no other way to love. Everything else would be a friendship only.
Yes that is how you specifically see it....without the crush and obsessing it can only be friendship. But clearly as most people don't see it that way there must be other ways to love, you mean that is the only way for you to fall in love.
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We won't go back.
A crush can last for quite some time, at least a few years. For me, a crush and obsessing about her is mandatory for love to develop. There simply is no other way to love. Everything else would be a friendship only.
Yes that is how you specifically see it....without the crush and obsessing it can only be friendship. But clearly as most people don't see it that way there must be other ways to love, you mean that is the only way for you to fall in love.
Sure. Everybody doesn't see it the same way, which was the point. Also, people that are asexual need something to differentiate a relationship from a friendship, and requiring a crush is an excellent way to handle that. Otherwise there would basically be no difference. Many people would define a relationship based on the presence of sex and "intimacy", but that wouldn't work for somebody asexual. I also suspect that the view that "love takes time" is based on bonding with sex, which happens after some time, so this view is actually based on having regular sex, and it implies that love develops because of regular sex.
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