How to tell aspie guys the truth about themselves
Learning2Survive wrote:
Hi,
My aspie friend walks around in a ripped black t shirt with vegetable oil stains and in a pair of lose sweat pants. He looks like a homeless man. He wants to date women and wonders why they won't ask him for his number. Should I tell him to dress better? Or should I meet him where he is at?
My other aspie friend is rude to people everywhere we go, especially women. Should I tell him too? Or should I keep my mouth shut?
And finally, I want my friends to give me feedback on what I do wrong - interrupt, talk rudely, look away, don't smile, etc. - how should I explain to them that I want honest, brutal commentary so that I am at least aware of what I do wrong.
Please tell me the exact words that I should say this as. I might want to just memorize and use your exact words or part of them at least.
P.S. I uploaded a new avatar
My aspie friend walks around in a ripped black t shirt with vegetable oil stains and in a pair of lose sweat pants. He looks like a homeless man. He wants to date women and wonders why they won't ask him for his number. Should I tell him to dress better? Or should I meet him where he is at?
My other aspie friend is rude to people everywhere we go, especially women. Should I tell him too? Or should I keep my mouth shut?
And finally, I want my friends to give me feedback on what I do wrong - interrupt, talk rudely, look away, don't smile, etc. - how should I explain to them that I want honest, brutal commentary so that I am at least aware of what I do wrong.
Please tell me the exact words that I should say this as. I might want to just memorize and use your exact words or part of them at least.
P.S. I uploaded a new avatar
Make sure you give him all advice in private.
About the clothes. Be direct, don't sugarcoat it, that will just be confusing, but don't bring it up until he mentions something about them not asking for his number or he complains about not having a date.
I'm not sure what to say about the rude, what is it he does that you think is rude?
_________________
I will befriend the friendless, help the helpless, and defeat... the feetless?
GoatOnFire wrote:
Learning2Survive wrote:
Hi,
My aspie friend walks around in a ripped black t shirt with vegetable oil stains and in a pair of lose sweat pants. He looks like a homeless man. He wants to date women and wonders why they won't ask him for his number. Should I tell him to dress better? Or should I meet him where he is at?
My other aspie friend is rude to people everywhere we go, especially women. Should I tell him too? Or should I keep my mouth shut?
And finally, I want my friends to give me feedback on what I do wrong - interrupt, talk rudely, look away, don't smile, etc. - how should I explain to them that I want honest, brutal commentary so that I am at least aware of what I do wrong.
Please tell me the exact words that I should say this as. I might want to just memorize and use your exact words or part of them at least.
P.S. I uploaded a new avatar
My aspie friend walks around in a ripped black t shirt with vegetable oil stains and in a pair of lose sweat pants. He looks like a homeless man. He wants to date women and wonders why they won't ask him for his number. Should I tell him to dress better? Or should I meet him where he is at?
My other aspie friend is rude to people everywhere we go, especially women. Should I tell him too? Or should I keep my mouth shut?
And finally, I want my friends to give me feedback on what I do wrong - interrupt, talk rudely, look away, don't smile, etc. - how should I explain to them that I want honest, brutal commentary so that I am at least aware of what I do wrong.
Please tell me the exact words that I should say this as. I might want to just memorize and use your exact words or part of them at least.
P.S. I uploaded a new avatar
Make sure you give him all advice in private.
About the clothes. Be direct, don't sugarcoat it, that will just be confusing, but don't bring it up until he mentions something about them not asking for his number or he complains about not having a date.
I'm not sure what to say about the rude, what is it he does that you think is rude?
I totally agree with you!
I would say something like "Hey man, you'd have alot more luck with the ladies if you updated your wardrobe a little. They like a well dressed guy." Then i would tell him that he does look a little sloppy, nothing to harsh, but enough to get my point across. All of my friends know me well enough to know that my intentions are good, even if i do come off as a little rude, so it's be cool. Even if they did get a little offended, it would be for the best. They'd thank me later. ![]()
_________________
Those who speak, don't know.
Those who know, don't speak.
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