Suffocating feeling of isolation?

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The reason that people like us do this is because it's hard for us to understand other people and their behavior and intentions. It's also hard for other people to understand us and our behavior and intentions. And most of all, it's hard for us ourselves to understand our own behavior and intentions.



I would not want a "close" or "best" friend like him. I would want a close or best friend who would enjoy hanging out with me for hours and hours on any day and who would be equally amiable when it comes to electronic communications between us. My friend who I have written a lot about on this forum, (probably too much, which goes back to us aspies obsessively focusing on every close social interaction that we experience), is kind of like your friend, except that he cut me off less than three weeks after we first met. I may have been asking too much when I hoped that my friend, if I can still really call him that, would become the kind of close or best friend that I really want. However, it was hard for me not to hope that when he actually told me that I had another friend in him the first time that we met and his tone and body language said the same thing.

You make a good point soldier. One thing, you're right. One could say about me that I don't know exactly what I want out of relationships. I've read about people with aspergers wanting a good dose of regular alone time, but we just want I know that some people are there for us when we need them. That sums me up pretty well. It's like my mind just wants to know that I'm not truly alone. When I don't feel that way, my mind goes to bad places. Never anything criminal or anything, just anger toward everyone for not being what I need them to be.
And that friend of mine, it is a suck situation. You know how on that other topic I talk about keeping people at arms length? Well that's what I do with this friend of mine also. The thing is, he's the only friend I got who I will hang out with sometimes all day on occasions, but he's also the person I feel like I can divulge the details of my life to the most. And that's how our friendship works. Will do a bunch of crap and hang out, going to pubs in seeing cool shows and just BSing about life. Although I can tell with this friend of mine that he doesn't understand a lot of what I say… But at least he actually listens when we do hang out. But then he pulls that prick stuff and just won't respond to me for days or weeks at a time. When this happens, although I can tell with this friend of mine that he doesn't understand a lot of what I say… But at least he actually listens when we do hang out. But then he pulls that prick stuff and just won't respond to me for days or weeks at a time. When this happens, if I do feel hurt and text something that could be interpreted as anger, all of a sudden, he'll get back in touch with me almost immediately. Then he acts like i'm the one who's getting upset about nothing or acting inappropriately. I mean it really is not cool of him. But maybe it's like that friend of yours i'm the one who's getting upset about nothing or acting inappropriately. I mean it really is not cool of him. But maybe it's like that friend of yours who felt smothered. The difference here is that I give him that space even when it kind of offends me that I'm getting the silent treatment for no apparent reason. Sadly, he's the closest friend I've got. I think it's my aspie quirks. I do think this friend of mine has a social disease also though. Possibly anti-social disorder.

I don't seem to have issues with reading people, but it's hard to see things objectively, so I can't be sure. Anyhow, I speculate a lot too. It's hard to know whether I am being horribly insecure or what exactly sometimes. I guess, for me, part of it must be that I don't communicate enough, so of course i don't know what is going on.

I've gotta admit, I'm guilty of what your friend does, TheWalrys. I have looked at my pms and simply did not have the motivation and energy to reply. I feel bad about it, but I push it aside and get back to it later as if it's a chore. Honestly, i do like my friend that I do this to. We've never met or hung out in person. Sometimes I just feel so drained...
I usually feel pretty bad and antisocial for my lack of communication, but I do feel too overwhelmed to communicate with EVERYONE. It seems it is the norm for people to be communicative daily with everyone they work with but I just don't even know how to do that. I can hardly gather my courage and energy for the people I work most closely with. You can forget about me remember everyone's name.. or saying hello to everyone. Is that something we're supposed to do? Greet all of our coworkers? Know everyone's name?

That's interesting Seibelin. Maybe he does just feel socially/mentally exhausted or something. It stings me because I do make a lot of effort to be more social with people I know. I try to build deeper relationships and levels of understanding with people. That friend of mine, I'd love to know what his issue because I do think it's possibly something legit. I don't think he's an aspie at all. (One we don't talk about is our respective mental health issues. When I try to delve in a little deeper into that issue, he changes the subject) But so that's how I have to play it. That's my closest friend in the world, so that should tell you something about my amazing social life.
As to your other question, the NTs definitely do make a big deal out of the superficial, everyday platitudes and trite chit-chat at the workplace.
For me as an aspie, this is such bizarre behavior. Like, why do we have to act like we're friends and really like each other when we're at work...when most of the time, people could give two $hits about the people they work with in actual real life? It's so fake and I believe that it's highly due to my Aspergers that I have such trouble with the "acquaintance" concept. If someone engages me in conversation, I tell them what I think or feel. I don't understand the barriers of neuro-typical sociology. Like so many of us, I over-indulge information in a way that they deem "inappropriate". Who am I kidding. This life really is so painful. I just started a new job today at a hospital, and again, I'm going through the motions. I am a starting sonographer. I met many people, techs, patients and even doctors. It is so awkward to be in that position over and over again in a day.
The worst part about it is how I know how this game is played. And I know that I have to pretend I'm normal and try to say all the right things and not fill the room with awkward silence. I know that the penalty of my personality will result in a disrespectful attitude and whispers behind my back. Seem what I mean about over-indulging?

It would annoy me to no end if someone I considered a good friend would choose to keep something like that a secret. But I suppose he does have his reasons...

In a way, I don't know myself. I don't know for sure what I would say in a conversation at work. I think of a lot of different things, daydream, but have never said anything inappropriate as far as I know, in the very few things I've said. I've actually had several people share thoughts and feelings with me and others that seemed a little personal...

I wish I could manage any conversation at this point, even if it's slightly awkward.

I only answer someone's 'hello' or 'have a good night' like 60% of the time or something crazy like that. I probably look like an as*hole.

Well, it seems to me like you're definitely not an a$$hole. But in the normal world, just based on my experiences, I would think that people at large probably interpret that as standoffish and even rude when you don't acknowledge them. It's just the way people are.