Do you have friends?

Post Reply New Topic

I have some friends in real life at school, and I also have some online friends.

I understand how you feel though. I get kind of excluded a lot, and I worry that I am isolated or withdrawn. I kind of am socially isolated, but I want to have friends. It’s just hard, especially in certain situations.

As for how I met friends, I posted a lot here, and other people came up to me in real life and made me their friend, or it happened by accident. All of my friends are like me, and they get excluded a lot too. This year is kind of the first year where I actually have noticed how socially disabled I really am, and how different I am to other people. That doesn’t prevent me from making friends; it just makes it harder.

Kind of.
I know some people, and I like them and they like me. But I don't actually do anything with anyone, and we rarely talk to each other.
Some days, like today, I really, really wish that I could have friends. That someone would get ahold of me to hang out, and that it would actually be fun to do that. But I know I wouldn't really enjoy it.
I don't think I've ever had what would qualify as a group of friends, really. At one point, all of the people I knew were a group of friends, but I was mostly separate from them. I worked at a place where they all hung out, and we all shared the interest of playing music. But other than when they stopped by the shop, there was only one of them I ever hung out with.
School friends, when I was back in college, there were a few of us that would always meet at the smoke tent on campus. There was one guy in that group who ended up becoming my best friend for a while. He kind of made it possible for me to access that group, although I don't think either of us actively knew that was going on. I didn't, anyway. He was really good at getting me to talk and smoothing out my awkwardness.
But basically no, I don't have friends. I have acquaintances, and I call them friends because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to say that I have friends.

I still don't think I understand what this means.
I have people I know, that I think of as friendlies. As in, they're friendly to me, I'm friendly to them. We see each other in the specific context I have them assigned to, such as studies, jobs or interest groups.
But they're just ... people who are there. I don't understand very well what friendship actually means. I imagine this is due to my extremely atypical emotional makeup. Doesn't mean I'm adverse to learning.

Yea, sure, I have Friends, all 10 seasons!
Two years ago I had one remaining friend, who was my boss at that time. Not that I made friends with my boss, it's just I was invited to work because my friend started his business, so I basically was spending every day with a friend. It was fun, but annoying at times. I also was in good relationships with a girl who worked there too, then I had to move to a different country and now I'm alone and see a lot of obstacles in making friends in your 30s , for example, everyone is a couple, so I can't really pursue getting to know a guy from a couple, because it's not good in the eyes of society. I am just much better being friends with guys. Women have their friends from school, work, etc and don't really need strangers.
I realized recently that I lost all my friends from school because I am just too intolerant to people's flaws. I recalled almost every event that led to my break up with people and it was because I found their actions stupid at some point. Some of them were bad and I don't regret it, like a girl started hanging out with some idiots and getting drunk all the time and asking me to give her money, but some were silly, like one girl and I were making a poster for school and she drew something not perfect enough for me, so I got upset and stopped talking to her forever.

No, I don't have friends. Friendship is a voluntary social obligation, and I have to spare my energy for the mandatory ones. Friendship has always been hard for me to define; there have been people who I am nice to and occasionally spend time with, but is that enough to call them a friend? I've known a handful of people online who I could talk to, but even then I didn't really think of them as friends, because we were brought together by a common interest in whatever we were talking about, not necessarily because we liked each other.

Besides, I'm terrible at keeping in touch. My father moved out of state eight years ago and I've never attempted to communicate with him even once. When I graduated from one school and went to another, I just let all my old relationships die because the pleasure of maintaining them wasn't worth the energy it would take.

I am living in another country and I am completely isolated. Not only do I not have any friends, I also do not have any acquaintances. There are some days I don't even say a word. Generally I am okay with not having any friends, because it's a lot of effort to make them and keep them. But I'm in college and I don't even have proper classmates, and this situation is taking a toll on my mental health. I spend most days feeling very defective.
I miss my dog. Back in my home country he was my only friend.

Excluding soulbonds, I have exactly 3 friends. Who of which I've met online and talk to on Skype.

I have one really good friend, my SO. He's the best person I've ever met, and I still don't know why he puts up with me. When he agreed to be my best friend I teared up a little because I'd always wanted one of those. I have another person who, along with his wife, I would consider friends. I only ever see them when I initiate contact (which happens rarely) they never actually reach out to me so I don't know if that counts. I'm really awful at keeping in contact with other people, most of the time it doesn't really occur to me, so maintaining friendships can be hard.

I've recently decided to think about trying to make some new friends, because I've been reading about how unhealthy social isolation can be for humans. I don't really know how to go about it though, it's one of the reasons I decided to join this forum after I'd spent so long lurking. My best friend growing up was my cat, and I still prefer my animals to most people. I like to watch a tv show called Community, it's like having a group of friends without the pressure of interacting with them.

I watch "Friends" for that purpose.
Doesn't it bother you guys, that your "friends", cousins and other relatives (except mom) actually never ever ever reach out to you? I mean, of course if it's something like your soulmate or smth, they would text you first, but others always wait until you write them first. I mean obviously they don't wait, they don't care. I also encounter this a lot - you write a person for the first time in five years (because you remember them and miss the times you spent together (like being pen pals, for example) and in their answer they say smth like: "Oh, wow, I haven't heard from YOU in a while!" "This and that happened since YOU stopped writing me", and I would always make sure that the last unanswered message from five years ago was to them from me. I don't understand how people think they can blame you and get away with it. It never occurs to them also, that they could initiate the talk. Of course it doesn't because they don't want to.
I realize I don't have value for people, I am boring, not rich, not talkative, not able to tell jokes. I had a couple people in life, who enjoyed my company, but everybody is in different countries now.

Actually I have a couple. I have enough social skills to talk about what other people want to talk about. And, when they have difficult things to talk about, like divorce, abusive relatives, or their really sick kid, they seem to feel better after talking to me.

When I was a child I had 2 friends, my cousin, and a boy who lived up the street. Even when he moved 20 minutes away (other side of the world as a kid) we still hung out. Once we were about 19 or 20 we all stopped talking. We became different people. It was really hurtful to me because I had no idea why they would not talk to me. All I had in the world was them and during this time I REALLY felt like I needed some support and people to talk to. Turns out the boy who moved had really had issues with me for years. I guess he was resenting me a long time but still talked to me because he himself was not that popular. He made new friends and I did not.

So I just got stoned by myself many nights. You would think it was the drugs that drove us apart. Maybe because at one point he did say look my brother is a cop I can't be seen doing that but my former friend would call me only to ask me to score him said drugs. So clearly he was OK with taking that risk.

I have not had any friends since and I'm 32 now. At this point I don't really want them anymore. It's not the same everyone has kids and wives and I don't know how to relate. I'm still excited about concerts and video games they are not. So I am OK with being content with myself. I can go wherever I want and enjoy life.

Nope. Been working on it for 20+ years but still beyond my abilities to figure out how

I have friends, but it's hard to be on "the same frequency" if you will, due to the fact it's hard for me to actually help people when they're upset/dealing with other negative feelings, unless they yell, then I assume they're angry. It's because I can't tell that's what they feel at the time, because empathy is hard to understand. I seem to be rushing down a slippery slope in which I'm going to lose them, as I've been informed that I have been making them sad, by not telling them the right things, but it's hard for me too. They say I need to learn how to empathise, but why do I have to be the only one to change, friendship works both ways. But, so it goes.

I have a few close friends, but I don't have a best friend, so I feel similar to you. However, my friends keep secrets from me, and I never get involved, so I feel left out. Also, when I want to join a conversation, there's always that cold stare I get for some reason, which I don't like because it confuses me.

I've gone through many segments of my life with functionally zero friends, but now is not one of those times.

My friends are people who have issues who latch on to me. I only hang out with them because I have no one else.

They tend to be single women who are older than me who are social outcasts. I feel like I've never been young because my friends are always older.

I've moved to a new area and straight away someone with issues has latched on to me.

My life will never change.

I feel like I'm always supporting people and I've got no one in my life who has their own life together. I feel like i have no positive influences.

It's like the blind leading the blind.

I don't know how to break the cycle.