Worried about online friend who hasn't responded in a week

Post Reply New Topic

Yes, they really are based on the things they do but I don't care to get into what they do. However, I will tell you that her mother was a real stinker.
Examples-
1. When I was 13, I was supposed to go camping with my friend as an early birthday since they were going out of town. Being that they lived across town and my parents worked late, my mom asked her to pick me up and she said "Yes." When I called over there, she answered and told me that she could only drive up to a half a mile because of her "Medical condition." That was a lie because she drove up to a campground all the time. When my mom talked to her again, she told her that she was waiting for her son to come home from school and would call me when she was coming. When the phone did ring, my friend told me to ask my parents to bring me because her mom was too tired.

2. I was invited to go camping 4th of July weekend in 1994 and I looked forward to it for weeks. Well her mom called me and told me she needed to talk to my mom while telling me that they were going to bring along the movie "Ace Ventura" which was playing in the background. "You will have to watch it when you come camping this weekend." She got on the phone with my mom and told her a different story about how it was not going to work out for me to come along because her husband had to work. Meanwhile she would be stuck with her two kids at the campground for three days. So my mom offered to come for one night and she said "Yes." We got there and her husband was there. However, the entire time I was there, her mom was awful:

1. She kept snapping at me every time I would turn around. Example- I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I saw her open the door when I got back and said hi to their dog. It was "Summer, get in here!"
2. She told me to shut up as we were going to bed and I had lots of questions about the area. She interrupted me and said "Summer shut up!"
3. When we went to the general store before we left the campgrounds, her mother was going to buy some shirts. I thought she was buying me one as a gift. When she told them to pick out their sizes, I went to look too and it was "Not you! These are for my kids."

Believe me, I was glad when I left with my mom and sister because her mom was so nasty along with several other things not working out. That experience made me believe that her mom bailing on me coming would have been a blessing in disguise.

The girl I was talking to had autism as well. I would have confronted her about the problems she was having with me but she didn't want me to contact her anymore. I am really confused on how to socialize with people now. Everything I tried doesn't work, talking more, being funny and goofy, being more quiet, I have no idea what I need to do to make friends or prevent people from just flat out ignoring me!

I don't know what to do...

That is really messed up. For them to tell you one thing but tell your mom another. As well as for your so called friend's mom to be rude to you.

It's definitely great that you don't associate with them anymore. If all that would have happened to me I would have been glad to leave as you were.

These are to the previous replies.------

I personally wouldn't have tried reconnecting 4 times if the first ones were not good. What made you try reconnecting?

As for the criminal activity, I personally wouldn't associate with that person to not be a part of her acts or even blamed for something i didn't do. Which I hope she didn't do to you. I don't like constant liars either, which is something I also would walk away from.

I think it's good that you seemed to outgrow her. Show her who's the better person. At least you met much better people.

I hope someday that happens to me, that I find another person that I feel comfortable to talk to as I was with this girl. Comfortable to be myself around. I find it difficult to do that with a lot of people during the beginning stages. I don't do well with introductions. I have a fear people think I am weird with weird interests, etc.

My former friend never specifically said anything not to contact her anymore or threatened to call cops, etc. she just stopped responding, then deleted me. I am only ever comfortable talking with my immediate family, nobody else. People say (even the former friend said this once when i mentioned how I never really had any friends & my parents would pressure me to make them) that friends happen naturally. Sadly, not to me it doesn't. I'm not interested in things most people are, I don't jump into conversations or start them, etc. I'm not really that funny in my opinion but people (even her) say that i am.

I'm always told more people are out there & to put myself out there. but yeah. I do have a YouTube channel so that's sort of a way people can see me. I don't like much other social media stuff though. Youtube is actually how me & her started talking.

One thing for sure is that I'm never chatting with people long distance again. No more Dating sites (I have some experiences with that I'll share), Or trying to make online friends if they aren't putting effort. If they ask me to be friends, then maybe, but other than that? no.

Reconnection:
1. First one happened when her mother called our "By accident."
2.The second one happened after my friend got pregnant after ignoring me
3. I just called one day to see how she was doing in the middle of her pregnancy
4.I went to live with them for a little and during my time there

Why did I keep going back? Because I wanted a lifelong friendship with someone I grew up with even though things were unhealthy. I was also hoping she would break away from her mother as she was so abusive to my friend and would start a better life for herself. In fact, I went through a phase where I was very angry and sad about my ex friend. However, those feelings passed.


As for blaming me for things, her mother and daughter did blame me for their choices of actions during the month in a half of my living with them. On the last night, I was there, she carelessly left her grandson on the floor. (My ex-friend's baby). I accidently did not look where I was going, and her mother exploded "Get away from there you are going to step on the baby." After that, her mother got really nasty and I tired of it and tried to set boundaries for being told to "Shut up." "If you are going to be like that then you can go down stairs." She kept on yelling at me so I droppped the F bomb on me which she kicked me out on account of being "Mouthy" and "Unruly." I wrote her a letter and apologized. She changed her story based on my being careless with her grandson.

Her daughter was also mean to me that night too and said that if his father were there, he would have "Boxed me for that." I shouted at her, "No I would call the police." So that was the end of the line for me.

Oh I'm sorry I misread a bit on those parts. Thanks for clearing it up



Yeah, I guess I understand now why you'd want to still be friends with her all those times. It's like people like us over value our little bit of friends, despite them not really giving a damn or caring enough. I deep down want to speak to my former friend again, despite her poor communication, failure to initiate, etc.

I guess your friend still stood close with her mom? It isn't wrong to care and be sad about your "friend's" home conditions.



Ouch, I agree with you trying to set boundaries. Gotta stand up for yourself, you know? She's not your mom & you were an adult by then I'm assuming? It wasn't your fault. Why was HER baby on the floor unattended? & it's wrong of her to kick you out without hearing your side. Especially if you were paying rent, which I don't know if you were? I'd try to apologize as well.



I assume you mean try to send you to jail? And why would he if it was an accident?

After being kicked out like that, I never wanted to see them again and good riddance too because they were scary that night. At that point, I learned that my "Friend" not be interested in round 2 was a blessing in disguise. After that second round, I was very angry and confused so I retaliated against she and her mother during the summer of 2000. By the times 3 and 4 rolled in, I realized that I wasted all kinds of energy chasing a toxic relationship.

Yeah, I could imagine not wanting to see them again. All in all, I guess it's best that you have moved on from her. It's painful to think of the wasted time invested into the friendships, relationships, etc. when things go downhill.

As for me, I've been generally fine after not speaking to her for so long. At night, I do sometimes wish I could speak to her again, have someone to play games with every now & then, etc.

But now I've just been immersed in my own hobboes, school, etc. Made me think back to my Middle & High school years as to why I was never interested in relationships at all.

While deep down I always thought it would be nice to have some kind of friendship or relationship, particularly with a girl and even had crushes over the years, I was nervous about probably ruining the relationship (kinda like what I probably did here), I thought they would eat away at my free time, and I just generally avoid the topic of girls and relationships due to feeling embarrased.

This also may be a shock but I have been a ghoster to someone, except when I was annoyed, I politely told them to stop emailing me & gave reasons, rather than ignoring. Sorry for the long post but I feel like I should share.

I met a girl (profile said age 22) on a dating site early last year by just asking her a question regarding an interest in her profile. She responded, which I didn't expect, and then started telling me about her anxiety & depression which I can relate to. She told me a story of her disability and being bullied so I sent a nice message. She then started telling me she loved me & started calling me babe, etc.

Problems were that I would say I'm going to get ready or had to leave or just go and she would repeatedly send the same message until I respond. This wasn't a scammer because out of curiosity I googled her & it was a real girl. Red flags arose when I saw she wrote on Instagram that her HS graduating class is 2019. I even seen her on a different dating site that said she was 18 and in 10th grade.

I asked her what her real age was and she told me 16. Then I said I could only be her friend as she was too young. I even told her not to get on dating sites anymore due to the trouble she could be in, which she actually seemed to stop. She started calling me big brother because I'm the only that was ever nice to her online and not being nasty & she thought of me as an older brother. I ghosted her once for a few months by deleting my dating account because I didn't want it.

She emailed me again a few months later & politely I responded, she gave me her number, started calling me her prince babe, once she even asked me for a shirtless pic & that's where I drew the line.

I started talking to her less, mainly because her age, different interests which led to not much to talk about, her desire to see pics of me underdressed, and I had started talking to the girl that I made this whole thread about. Eventually I told her to stop emailing me for those reasons above. I had never given my address to her. For all I knew, She could have lied & said I tried raping her or sent dirty pics. Those are things I never condone & won't do.

It sounds like you did the right thing with that "Girl" who kept bothering you because she sounded like someone who had a knack for getting into trouble and you don't need that.

One of two reasons why she might have really kicked me out
1. I ran out of money and she had gradually been getting mad at me every time I turn around-
-Or-
2. She didn't like it that I finally started standing up for myself

As far as what I had paid to stay there:
1. I had no bedroom to myself but rather had to sleep on my friend's floor while her guy friends were there
2.Her mother set a rule that I couldn't be in her house when no one was home because her mom supposedly felt funny with people alone in her home. Yet, her daughter's guy friends could be there no problem.

The only reason why I was living there was because I was trying to get settled into my own place while holding down a job and going to school but it wasn't right situation.

Yes it's for the better. Though I felt a little sorry for the girl when first speaking to her, she seems to be a bit crazy. When googling her username (I do that with anyone I talk to privately online just to be sure they're real, not to be a creep.), it seems she was on many dating sites in desperate need for friends or a boyfriend. For an underage girl, that's not good. Things happen for a reason, as seen in that example, I'll never ghost someone unless there's a valid reason for it & I'll tell them exactly that.

As for more, not so serious times I was ghosted, Last summer, I was ghosted by someone I was talking to online for a month after we went on a date. This one was mutual, Upon meeting, I didn't like her all that much. We did talk and that seemed ok. But as for why I didn't like her, First off, she looked a lot different from her profile. The pics were actually 4 to 5 years old. She was rude on the date by looking at her phone constantly. Left prematurely with an excuse of her sister's car broke down (she had no sisters). Lucky for me, she insisted to pay despite me originally going to. I asked her how she was doing the next day & nothing. It was my first ever date.

I still think it's good you stood up for yourself. As for your financial issue, if she was really your friend, wouldn't you think she'd be more forgiving?

Ugh, they made you sleep on the floor? Hopefully nothing was going on between her & her guy friends while you were there, that'll be a bit rude & disturbing.

Why wouldn't she trust someone who's paying & knew for years to be there alone, but trust some guy I'm assuming your former friend didn't know that long?

Yeah, I understand the struggle of trying to find somewhere to live for school. Did you not get any financial aid?

Thank you for summing up the trust issues piece because the guys who she allowed to be in her house only knew each other for a year. Maybe it's because her mother was a crook and perhaps knew that I would be the type of person to discover the truth and report them. I hated living there and couldn't wait to get my own place because the environment there could get hostile.

Yeah, you're welcome. A good friend is supposed to trust you. A year is not long enough to trust someone alone in your home. I think you're not wrong in regards to reporting them. If it needs to be done, you should've. Of course now you're probably living better off right?

The only roommate I have is a cat and she doesn't pick on me like that.

That's good. I find it better living alone anyway or wirh 1 pet, not cat for me because allergies.

I've had to share a dorm with someone. He was a cool person, but he was extremely messy, my parents even commented on that not to him but to me. I was more organized. Occasionally, he used my stuff w/o asking, such as used all my printer ink without telling me then he moved out so I couldn't say anything, etc.

About a decade later, I went through a time of anger towards my childhood friend for choosing the path that she did while dumping me to the side and treating me so poorly while forgetting the nightmare that she and her mother put me through in late 2001. I have since done some guided meditations which helped me to realize and accept that she didn't have any boundaries in her life. Why would she? Her mother was a sick woman.

A decade later? After all you been through with her & her mom, you should have not even bothered with her anymore. It is always difficult to make new friends but it's more difficult to forget the good or bad memories of the old friend. Doing meditation is a good way to go about things. My mom does them all the time for various things. Her mom sounds like a sick woman.

Today marks 2 months since she last spoke to me. :/ Oh well. While I do miss her a bit, I'm really feeling a bit better off without someone that in a way was playing mind games & driving me a bit insane. Of course, I always guess I'll never find another. They always say someone will come to me but that's unlikely I always feel.