test
Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

how to become un-obsessed

Page 2 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

lotusblossom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Age:36
Posts: 3,106

01 Sep 2010, 5:13 am

Mutate wrote:
dont get rid of your PC. i might post some critisism of you tonite and you wont want to be curious and sleepless about it. 8)

Its the only way. I cant carry on as I am. Its like picking at a scab all the time and never letting it heal. I came so close to killing myself last night, Im in such a bad state at the moment. I need to do something to make things better, I cant carry on how things are.



jdcnosse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Age:26
Posts: 613
Location: Tucson

01 Sep 2010, 9:28 am

lotusblossom wrote:
jdcnosse wrote:
The hardest part for me, was when we first met and dated, we were together all day every day. Like I was her support or something. And now, she wants space. And is dating some guy. And I doubt we'll ever get back together because even though logcially I know it's bad to act this way, I don't know why I keep doing it.

I think I need to like move away. Or pull an Alexander Supertramp. (reference here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Supertramp )

I know how you feel there is something very attractive/romantic about Alexander supertramp.

Im going to get rid of my computer later today as I think thats the only answer, Im too lazy to go to an internet cafe or the library so it will stop me checking what he does online or checking to see if he has emailed me. I cant carry on as I am, torturing myself and making myself ill, so its better to have the inconvenience of no internet rather than keep doing this to myself.


I actually don't think he's romantic or attractive, just stupid lol

I'm actually very relieved to say that we worked everything out last night :)


_________________
Aspie score: 110/200, Neurotypical score: 89/200. Apparently I have Aspie and NT traits.


lotusblossom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Age:36
Posts: 3,106

01 Sep 2010, 9:33 am

jdcnosse wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
jdcnosse wrote:
The hardest part for me, was when we first met and dated, we were together all day every day. Like I was her support or something. And now, she wants space. And is dating some guy. And I doubt we'll ever get back together because even though logcially I know it's bad to act this way, I don't know why I keep doing it.

I think I need to like move away. Or pull an Alexander Supertramp. (reference here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Supertramp )

I know how you feel there is something very attractive/romantic about Alexander supertramp.

Im going to get rid of my computer later today as I think thats the only answer, Im too lazy to go to an internet cafe or the library so it will stop me checking what he does online or checking to see if he has emailed me. I cant carry on as I am, torturing myself and making myself ill, so its better to have the inconvenience of no internet rather than keep doing this to myself.


I actually don't think he's romantic or attractive, just stupid lol

I'm actually very relieved to say that we worked everything out last night :)

great! I hope it stays good between you :D



jdcnosse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Age:26
Posts: 613
Location: Tucson

01 Sep 2010, 9:36 am

lotusblossom wrote:
jdcnosse wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
jdcnosse wrote:
The hardest part for me, was when we first met and dated, we were together all day every day. Like I was her support or something. And now, she wants space. And is dating some guy. And I doubt we'll ever get back together because even though logcially I know it's bad to act this way, I don't know why I keep doing it.

I think I need to like move away. Or pull an Alexander Supertramp. (reference here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Supertramp )

I know how you feel there is something very attractive/romantic about Alexander supertramp.

Im going to get rid of my computer later today as I think thats the only answer, Im too lazy to go to an internet cafe or the library so it will stop me checking what he does online or checking to see if he has emailed me. I cant carry on as I am, torturing myself and making myself ill, so its better to have the inconvenience of no internet rather than keep doing this to myself.


I actually don't think he's romantic or attractive, just stupid lol

I'm actually very relieved to say that we worked everything out last night :)

great! I hope it stays good between you :D


Well unfortunately we're not dating anymore, but she finally figured out why we broke up, and why she only wanted to be friends. She's only 17, so she told me essentially she just wants to date more, live life, experiment, all that crap teenagers/college students do.


_________________
Aspie score: 110/200, Neurotypical score: 89/200. Apparently I have Aspie and NT traits.


Meow101
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Age:52
Posts: 1,700
Location: USA

01 Sep 2010, 8:53 pm

I still say a delete button for memories would be a great idea *sigh*....can't obsess about what you don't remember...

~kate


_________________
Ce e amorul? E un lung
Prilej pentru durere,
Caci mii de lacrimi nu-i ajung
Si tot mai multe cere.
--Mihai Eminescu


zombiecide
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2009
Age:32
Posts: 200
Location: Europe

14 Sep 2010, 10:18 am

Maybe reading a bit about the works of Dr Helen Fisher regarding romantic love can help a bit.
I'm in no mind to actually sift through the articles and write some coherent abstract for you, but what I remember is that it seems that romantic love has the same effect as a drug addiction on humans, or rather that drugs use the circuits that developed to allow us to bond with a mate and start a romantic relationship. Maybe the obsessive part of it is worse for people on the spectrum because it's unproportionally more dominant than the other kinds of bonding menchanisms than in NTs?
Which means that breaking up with somebody is about as difficult as going cold turkey. I haven't had a drug addiction, but I had habit-addictions and ... well, getting over the one person I fell in love with so far was worse than getting rid of those habits.
But it's possible. I think what made it worse for you was that it wasn't an official end, but a 'time away from each other', because that leaves hope. And that kind of hope can make the obsessiveness and addiction-like behaviour worse.
So, be nice to yourself, but also be honest and realistic, and don't do things that may hurt you or others.


_________________
My name is BUPANTS and I'm a superhero.
Also: http://languagelearners.myfastforum.org