Mind Blanking Out While Talking to People?

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You know what I noticed? I've been doing it a bit less since I started this poll and realized that other people do it too. It makes it seem like less of a big deal. So, I wonder if it would help, if you imagined that the person you're talking to also has this problem sometimes? Or, conversely, if you psyched yourself up into believing that you have this problem to less of a degree than you do?

Well yeah, everyone gets it sometimes, that's pretty apparent. I suspect that the difference between people with Asperger's getting it and NTs getting it is the level of discomfort it causes and/or the frequency. When I get it, I just feel like I don't belong with people, that I cannot relate to people, that I have no idea why I'm bothering talking to people, and that I'd like to go sit in a cave by myself. Then I start wondering what that person is thinking about me, I get heaps nervous, and struggle all at once with a. trying to like talking to people, b. trying to not care what they think, c. trying to focus on the conversation while my heart is racing, my mind is wandering, and everything feels surreal, and also d. trying to think of a response, which usually comes out misspoken and filled with stuttering and cutting my words off in the middle of saying them in addition to being just about the stupidest or rudest thing I could possibly think of.

I should try that more. When I try to come up with a lengthier response it ends in a stuttering, incoherent DISASTER.

Aw, that sucks that it happens when talking to your own kid. : ( I don't have kids, but it happens with my fiance sometimes and I can verify that it totally bites, not being able to communicate with someone close to you.

Wow you also sound like you have it worse than I do. You wanna know what I found helps? This forum. Realizing that other people have the same problem I do, that it's not just me, it's been monumentally helpful. Maybe it would help if you imagined that the person you are talking to has the same problem sometimes?

Yup.

Advice: don't overthink things. I think that when most people think of the terrible/weird/boring things to say like you mentioned, they just say them anyway. It seems like the people who have the easiest times in conversations don't actually worry themselves over whether the other people around are going to respond positively to what they say or not. They just say what they want to say. It's sort of like "shoot first, ask questions later" except in this case it's more like "speak first, and ask yourself whether it was a good idea or not later."

Tends to happen to me when people supply insufficient context for me to figure out what they're saying - they know, but they don't communicate enough context so that anyone else could understand. The hamster in my mind starts running wildly on its wheel trying to figure out the missing context. I usually have to start asking leading questions to elicit context. Also happens when things are so old I can't remember doing them, like over five months ago.

Probably good advice for most people most of the time - just like telling people with insomnia to try sleeping and telling depressed people to be happy. The problem here is that, just like the aforementioned issues, it's easier said than done and takes a lot of practice and possibly medication to help.

Advice: don't overthink things. I think that when most people think of the terrible/weird/boring things to say like you mentioned, they just say them anyway. It seems like the people who have the easiest times in conversations don't actually worry themselves over whether the other people around are going to respond positively to what they say or not. They just say what they want to say. It's sort of like "shoot first, ask questions later" except in this case it's more like "speak first, and ask yourself whether it was a good idea or not later."

I need more context to understand what you mean by people don't give you enough context.

Honestly, I have this happen almost every time I talk to people. Nearly all conversations that aren't with a close friend or family member tend to consist of nervous small talk. However, lately I've become determined to try to change that... which has lead me to say the strangest things to people without realizing how strange I really sound.

THIS. When I try to force it while my mind is blanking, I just sound like such a weirdo. O_o

With me, it depends. If I am with my parents and they are talking with someone than I have no problems with it. But if I am by myself I tend to get nervous around people when it comes to having to socialize... my mind will lock down when I talk to them and at times I feel like if I could, I would hide myself as invisible and not be seen... x.x