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Dart
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26 Oct 2006, 3:13 pm

To me it seems that "bullying" is a word that gets thrown around a lot but doesn't have a precise meaning. Is a bully just the stereotypical kid who treats anyone and everyone like crap? (I've never met anyone like that in my life.) Or is it any kid who's ever cruel to any other kid? (By that definition, just about every NT is a bully to some extent.) Does bullying have to involve physical violence, intimidation, etc.? Or can it just be verbal insults, mockery, etc.?



One-Winged-Angel
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26 Oct 2006, 3:16 pm

Wiktionary's definition:

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bully


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sigholdaccountlost
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26 Oct 2006, 3:26 pm

Well, bullying is just a word invented so that abuse doesn't sound like its a problem, IMHO.


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26 Oct 2006, 5:55 pm

I think bullying is getting one's way by force, but it can be through very subtle ego games. I could win an arguement with my boss by just wearing her down, but I think that would be bullying.
Schoolyard bullying is establishing one's superior position in the pecking order by means believed to be acceptable because they were taught or not disapproved of.


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Enigmatic_Oddity
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27 Oct 2006, 1:23 am

Bullying is when a person makes another person feel bad, or attempts to knock them down the pecking order for no justifiable reason.



Mitch8817
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28 Oct 2006, 11:18 pm

Bullying is the willing harm (physical, mental) of another through action or inaction.



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29 Oct 2006, 1:56 am

Inaction? I think there has to be some sort of action on the part of the bully for them to be defined as a bully. Otherwise they're just bystanders, who might just be (wisely) looking out for themselves. Not everyone can afford to be noble.



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29 Oct 2006, 8:03 am

To me Bullying is when someone is picked on and ripped ths s**t out of until they've had enough.

They do this "for a laugh" or "for a joke", and to stop you from worrying, they tell you that they're "only joking."



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30 Oct 2006, 4:25 am

Well, to me it is when someone is trying to take advantage of you.



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30 Oct 2006, 11:51 am

Starbuline wrote:
Well, to me it is when someone is trying to take advantage of you.


That is also true.

I forgot to add that, woops. :oops:



Mitch8817
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30 Oct 2006, 12:04 pm

I meant inaction as in exclusion and ignoring a person. The female stuff (generally I mean - not being sexist).



JulieArticuno
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31 Oct 2006, 10:33 am

Bullying is, and this is by no means a full list.....

Ignoring you/leaving you out
Deliberately not telling you something they should (E.G a message from a teacher)
Shouting at you for no good reason
Kicking/punching/pinching/slapping or otherwise hurting you
Name calling
Follolwing you around, evenb if you ask them not to
Stealing from you, especially repeatredly, or stealing things of no value to them but valuable to you.
Holding your items away from you and making you jump for them
Telling lies/tales about you at school(E.G "she's got fleas", "she said you were ugly")
Lying to you to make you get in trouble/seem stupidTouching you in ANY way you dislike
Pretending to be your friend when they are not
Laughing at you
Making up nasty poems/rhymes or spiteful drawings of you
Deliberately hitting you woith balls, raquets ETC-including making it seem accidental
Anything done with the intention of making you unhappy, distressed or hurting you

This could be added to, but I'll leave other people to-this is too close to my own past and it hurts.

JulieArticuno



Rory
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02 Nov 2006, 4:50 am

Bullying is about power. There are many ways of doing it. But the essence of it is that the bully wants to show the bullied one (and others) that he is "top dog", he is powerful while the bullied one can do nothing against him. It involves putting someone down physically or verbally, thus lowering their status.

Bullying can have a devastating and lasting effect. I was badly bullied at school to the point where I almost had a breakdown. I nearly failed one year after coming top of the class the previous year. My parents had to put me in another school. 45 years later, I think I haven't completely gotten over it, and it explains a lot of my general fear and distrust of people.



summer
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04 Nov 2006, 2:04 am

Women bully more by social means. They get people to gang up on you. Or, they attempt to make you feel like you are less than in some way. And they do things behind your back more often.

I'm a woman, but I don't do these things.

My boyfriend's mother is a horrible bully in that way. My boyfriend, Mike, worked for his parent's business his whole life. He's 30 now and he finally left because I told him I can't take things the way that they are with his mother and working for her. I financially supported him in a job I hated because I had meltdowns every day. He made $200 a week working for his mom in an oil business. And he had car payments and other personal bills. 8 years ago, when he asked for a raise, his mom told him to break up with me. She and his dad told him that he made more money than anyone else his age could make.

She put Dulculax in muffins that she made special for me. I tried them after she left me in her house to watch over things when she was at work. They tasted bitter. I gave one to her favorite dog (before I knew the muffins were spiked.) I should've known anyway by the way she was laughing when she handed me the bowl of fresh home-made muffins. She really thinks she's funny.

Anyway, the next day, she yelled at me for giving her dog those muffins. She said she was up all night with her dog who had severe diarrhea and his stomach can't handle muffins.

I thought to myself, "That's strange. She feeds the dog bacon and eggs and gravy. He handles that just fine. Why not muffins? And how did she know I gave him the muffins? I was watching her house alone. I could've given him anything in the fridge. She always feeds him junk food."

I even entertained the thought that she may have had spy cameras in the house watching my every move. But, that's absurd.

So, I remembered the bitter taste and her laughing her A** off handing me the muffins. I knew she was upset with me because her 22 year old son asked for a raise. And it fit together....she crushed a Dulcolax tablet and mixed it into the muffins she made for me.

I didn't think anyone could be so vindictive and enjoy it so much. She annoys me so much. Even the way she talks. It's like every word that comes out of her mouth is like a song in opera.

I have so much to say about that woman but I think you get the idea of what I've been dealing with for the past 9 years. SHE IS A BULLY!! !! !! !!Rant, rant!



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19 Nov 2006, 12:55 pm

I like to define a bully as someone who purposely causes harm to another for no justifiable reason, even if it has a negative impact on the bully. This can be a punch, or name-calling, or even passive-aggressiveness. As I've gotten older, bullies tend to use passive-aggressiveness because it can more effective and many people don't realize the harm resulting from it if people even recognize what it is. And even if we see that the bully is causing harm from his/her passive/aggressiveness, society tends not to stop that type of behaviour. I think it's because it's easier to qualify the physical consequences of fighting.


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