Dantac wrote:
lazamb_girl wrote:
There is a classmate N. I have tried a lot to reach out to her. She was always alone. I went and spoke to her and all. I brought her in the "group" and so on.
....
Is this normal? or am i being plain immature and petty?
The first part tells me she is either introverted, has social anxiety or something like that. If so, bringing her into a 'group' was probably not comfortable for her.
I think your reaction is normal... so normal its practically typical of how people react to me when I don't try to integrate with their social clique when theyre together (as in, chatting in a group, hanging out as a group, etc).
She sounds a lot like me actually. I detest being with a group of people but I do OK on a 1-1 basis. How does she behave when you are hanging out with her? Just the two of you? Is she still unresponsive or seem to be only interested in what she can get out of you or does she lighten up and become friendly?
As far as I observed, she was fine with other people in the "group". When I talk to her, to me it seems as though she seems like she does NOT want to talk. I try hard to think of topics to talk and all. Yeah I get that she is introverted. But when I see her talking to other people normally it seemed like she wasn't interested in talking to me and stayed away.But when she asks me for help, she acts as though we have been friends for ages. This is what I don't get.
muff wrote:
the first thought i had when i read your post was to ignore this person altogether. they sounded like a real jerk to me and maybe you dont want to be around a jerk, you know?
i went back and read it though and i thought about "acquaintances." i have had a lot of trouble in my life understanding this social role and what the function of these people are and how to maintain them in my life and if it even takes any work at all and maybe im over thinking it and if i ask them a quesiton, doesnt that mean we then have to get together and hang out and if i see one of them in a coffee house should i ask them to sit down and then should we talk and if so for how long and then should i call them sometime and when they say that do they mean it and....................
i want to learn more about the concept of acquaintances. i can see how they would be imporant to people. ive heard the term 'single serving friend' also to refer to someone you only do one thing with (go ice skating, for example) and dont see otherwise. this also makes very little sense to me.
As such I understand "acquaintances" and most of my contacts are so. I have a line for them which I do not cross. But when other people have different definitions and their lines are too hazy, I get confused and frustrated and shut them out.
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AQ- 37/EQ : 15/SQ : 44/ BAP : Autistic/BAP (120 aloof, 104 rigid and 92 pragmatic)
Aspie Quiz: Aspie :130/200;NT score: 72/200;You are very likely an Aspie. Alexithymia test :135
07 Nov 2012, 5:49 am
