What was my mom warning me about?

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There was this girl who is a sociopath/drug addict who for nearly 3 years used my aspergers against me and harassed me in social situations (I first came across her at a friends barbecue in july 2011). In October 2012 she got a 10 year bar ban from every bar in my hometown. The reason why is because she went to a carnival drunk and started threatening people with a knife and was put in prision because of it.

The last time I saw her was in January of this year when she again harassed me at a nigtclub outside of my hometown. Since then I have been trying to avoid her by stopping going to certain house parties etc.....

My mom commented on me trying to avoid by her saying "now James she will pop up again because she is part of your friendship group". My mum then said "we'll on the outer edges of group that is". How do you think my mom was trying to help me by that comment?



Just to mention she is the girlfriend of one of my friends who I occasionally meet up with at the bar.

She just wants you to be cautious around the girl. Nothing wrong with that. She doesn't react well to alcohol, obviously.

Give me a situation where she might pop up again?

She might show up in the bar/pub one night.

Did you not read my post? She has been banned every pub in my hometown.

I know.....but she could sidle in, nevertheless. She could adopt a totally different look; she could behave well for a while--then---KAPOW!

In this instance, honestly, I believe your parents are looking after your best interest.

I could understand it if there's a fascination with this person; I might be intrigued myself.

No way could she slip in cause the door staff are very strict. Granted I have seen her hang 'outside' pubs in my town I still managed to avoid her.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong but I think your mum was commenting on the hierarchy stablished in your friends group, and kind of telling you not to expect a lot of help from your friends if that crazy girl comes around again.

Friends are supposed to help right?

Your reaction was to stop going to certain house parties.

Your mom normalized the girls presence and then marginalized the girl slightly with the "outer edges" comment. If you accept your mum's viewpoint that the girl's presence as normal and marginal, that might make you feel comfortable about returning to your normal socialization activities of going to certain house parties. Her second comment might help you marginalize the girl if the girl attempts to bother you again or dismiss the bothering as unimportant.