What TV/Movie Characters Have Been Your "Social Models"?

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dryope
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16 Apr 2015, 3:16 am

I've heard from a few people here that they studied models to learn socializing behavior. I'm just curious: did any of you pick a specific actor/character from a video (movie, TV, etc.) as a model for voice tone, eye contact, and body language?

I know I've picked a few over the years, but the only time I really threw myself into modeling myself on a person overall -- not just certain characteristics -- was Peter Falk in the "Columbo" series. I also used his lines for social scripting. I'm as unalike as possible from him in appearance/background/job, though -- I just thought he was a generally good guy. I didn't do the accent, though. ;)

Has anyone else done this in the past and mind sharing who it was you picked? I have no reason for asking other than I'm just curious.

Does anyone still find it useful? I'm trying hard to be myself, though, so I avoid modeling now (except for learning languages). But I really enjoyed "being" Columbo. ;)


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QuiversWhiskers
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16 Apr 2015, 1:26 pm

I think when I was a kid I wanted to be Deanna Troi In elementary school I acted like a certain boy I knew because I liked his silliness. In middle school I tried to copy another girl in school. In eighth grade I was obsessed with Kellie Martin and tried to emulate her or wanted to but felt self-conscious because my mom knew about my obsession and I felt stupid and embarrassed, and I was scared of losing myself. My father also had these kinds of things where he'd almost take on someone else's personality though his choices or fascinations were more outlandish (holiday or fairy tale characters). Anyway, I was also really into the shows Kellie Martin was in: Christy and Life Goes On even though that show was way before my time and I had trouble finding ways to watch it back then before the internet became what it is now, but I did research the show online and looked up her parts in other shows as well. I had a whole comfort thing around looking at websites online about her, and had to do it to make things feel better or safer. I often in my own time dressed up as Christy and went outside by myself and pretended to be her. I didn't know much about her character on the Life Goes On show but I wanted big red glasses like hers. I got red glasses too, but they weren't very big. I made a classroom outside where I'd tutor my sister on her homework and pretend to be a teacher; there was a desk and my dad put a chalkboard in there he had found. I pretended to be in that Christy time period when we went on a trip.

I tried using another woman's mannerisms when I was older. She was and is very adept at interacting with people. Up until recently and before I started trying to "drop the act" and connect with my own body and personality and stop acting like other people, I used this person's bearing and mannerisms to get stuff done, to know what to do. I also had a lot of bits and pieces of other people's expressions and looks and words that I used in random places depending on context. I think I may have given off a lot of odd signals because for some of those things I was copying just to be doing something like to make a face when I was supposed to without really understanding what I was doing all around or how they might really be perceiving it or that they thought I was fake or being manipulative and maybe I was. I didn't know how to ask for help or really who to ask and had trouble understanding myself and my emotions.

Nowadays, I frequently find myself thinking of and probably acting like the Doctor on Voyager when interacting happily with others, like if I am excited about something or really comfortable with the people I am with. Sometimes it's a little like Seven of Nine. When I want to be collected and cool and also motherly, I am emulating the woman I talked about in the above paragraph. Often times, I am not copying anyone. I feel less restricted now and am better mentally and physically.

I used to be scared I was going to go crazy or had lost my mind but considering how I felt before my copying really began, feeling like I had no personality or couldn't come up with anything original and felt so stupid around other kids my age range, maybe it's a spectrum thing. I don't have ASD but I have a lot of features of it. Or maybe I am on the spectrum, just fall short of the diagnostic spectrum.



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16 Apr 2015, 3:03 pm

114 views and no other responses. Sorry if I killed your thread. :cry:



dryope
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16 Apr 2015, 6:54 pm

I wanted to know if any people here with ASD had tried to model themselves completely on one person.

Your reply is interesting, but on a different subject: you, as an NT with possible aspie traits, have done this throughout your life, to varying degrees, but maybe not in the way I was wondering about (rewatching videos hundereds of times to match voice tone, body language, etc.).

That's OK. I think WP works best as a discussion to see similarities and differences among people. The fact that this isn't getting a lot of replies implies that people here prefer to talk about something else and that this doesn't resonate with them.

Thanks for your response, though! It's interesting to see other people's experiences. I also feel like my personality isn't that stable, because I have tried to be so many other people. But Columbo was the only one that I set out as a focused mission to become.

Do you think you are in the Broader Autism Phenotype category? I think a lot of awesome people are, so it's good company to be in, if so.


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QuiversWhiskers
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17 Apr 2015, 4:15 pm

dryope wrote:
Your reply is interesting, but on a different subject: you, as an NT with possible aspie traits, have done this throughout your life, to varying degrees, but maybe not in the way I was wondering about (rewatching videos hundereds of times to match voice tone, body language, etc.).


I have done this, though not hundreds of times. I'd sometimes use quotes and lines to answer other people when they'd talk to me. I was using the people I was "stuck" on as a sort of template for myself but perhaps with more fluidity and flexibility than you might be looking for; it wasn't nearly as rigid of copying as you might be getting at. Sometimes it's easier for me to talk when I have been talking too long or reading out loud to my kids by slipping into a light Irish or Scottish accent; I don't do it in public because I don't want to attract attention, appear to be putting on airs, or be perceived as having some weird alternate personality. Using a different accent uses different muscles in my face and mouth and throat when those other "American" accent muscles get tired or start to clench up. It's also fun and makes it less boring. I used to think I got such muscle tiredness from talking because I didn't talk enough, but I don't think so anymore. I think it's just a thing I have. One time I was alone and decided to try that thing where people pretend they are talking to someone else just to talk about their problems when they don't anyone to talk to. Felt stupid at first but I felt a lot better afterwards. I noticed that after a while it was easier for me to process the words and thoughts taking on the accent and inflection of a character on Call the Midwife. She has a soft Irish voice. So, in my head it was as if she was saying the words and I was just repeating them. Most relaxing thing even if it sounds totally weird.

For many years like in high school and beyond, when I'd interact with people I had a running scene or script in my head of another person I had seen in a similar situation and I'd be "copying" them though the mannerisms and facial expressions felt stupid and awkward. I was always afraid someone would figure out what I was doing, copying like this. It made me feel like a fake person, like I was a liar. In the last couple of years I have developed a really good and quick sense of humor and can pull off simple social interactions fluidly and spontaneously and come up with my own stuff to say and do. I've kind of made my own personality from all the bits and pieces from others. Ever heard of "fake it til you make it"? As long as I am not in a large group of noisy people or as long as I am not having any sort of emotional or sensory distraction I can do very, very well.

dryope wrote:
Do you think you are in the Broader Autism Phenotype category? I think a lot of awesome people are, so it's good company to be in, if so.


Yes, very likely BAP range, but a little more on the ASD side of the BAP. I say that because I fit more into the "subclinical" area in terms of my history and I truly to believe that my symptoms are minimized because I have so much "down" time to be in my own little world as my husband works and I stay home with kids. I have all kinds of control over my environment and exposure and have very little real social interaction, like a few hours at church and very occasional meetings with people outside of church. When I do go out for things, I am not usually already in a very overloaded state. If I was out having to work, I would be having more social problems. My social antennae seems to have a short in it. Now I cut myself slack knowing these ASD tendencies I have so I don't act as much anymore. I cut myself a lot of slack and I let myself move and fidget and stim and be silly sometimes in public so I don't "get frozen" or have angry or crying fits/breakdowns later. I don't make myself make eye contact. When I read about the BAP it makes a person sound aloof, non-interactive, stoic, etc and that is not me. I am actually extroverted in that I do get a lot of energy being with other people and I like people a lot but I wear out very quickly. I get depressed when I haven't seen friends or acquaintances for more than two or three days. I have more features than what BAP implies. I have hyperactive episodes every day. I have anxiety. I have meltdowns and mild shutdowns. The last big meltdown was a few weeks ago. It came out of no where and my brain was just half-dead for days afterward. I had some pretty bad social anxiety. I had selective mutism (worse when I was a kid and in college, rare now). I have had episodes of severe OCD and had fairly constant pure O for years until the last few years that pure O has gotten sporadic. I space out. I get stuck doing things in that I can do one thing over and over again for hours and not be able to break myself out of it. I am forgetful. I sometimes do things out of order. I can't seem to get anything done unless I am obsessed with it or have a lot of anxiety over it. As a kid, I think I was more ADHD/OCD/socially awkward. In fourth or fifth grade, I became aware of things negative about myself and other kids' reactions to me in school. I didn't get any very ASD-ish obsessions and overt social difficulties til seventh/eighth grade. I was excluded in school. Then I developed severe contamination OCD like I had had in kindergarten only with a different disease/condition on top of the horrible pure O. I don't want to go into it all but going to public school I felt like I was foreign, that I didn't known the other kids' language. The first thing I did was to not tuck in my shirt anymore. I felt naked and exposed and almost like I was sinning. I thought it was sloppy and disrespectful not to tuck in my shirt even though I knew no one else who tucked in their shirts. That wasn't the style. It's like I got left behind even though I felt a lot more mature than the other kids, I was actually on a very different trajectory, socially. I was always very, very sensitive to tone of voice. I can read body language now and can recognize sarcasm usually. I think now I fall into the "active, but odd mostly with success" now. I never had pedantic speech. I didn't talk in monologues. I had no developmental delays and actually walked early. My learning profile is a lot like NVLD and NVLD is very much like ASD with less obsessional stuff and less routine-insistence. However, I am both visual AND auditory learner. I am not completely blind to body language. I wear out listening to speech and processing it. I had bad coordination as I got older to the point where I withdrew from physical activity due to being spoken too hatefully by other kids for stepping on their foot or bumping them too hard. I couldn't run with a ball and tell where I was or was going. I am not literal to the point of not getting implied or expected meanings. In other words, I can easily pick up on hints if I am relaxed and paying attention and not in my own world and I now revel in non-literal language. I don't know if I stimmed when I was little. I know I was doing it by fourth grade. I have pictures of me doing stuff. I fall into the social-pragmatic language disorder thing I think though I have learned a lot. I have a lot in common with that pathological demand avoidance thing that people argue about being on the spectrum, but without the developmental delay. I was 4 when my pure O started. Kindergarten when it became OCD and my teacher would tell my mom I'd cry in school. Kindergarten was a sensory nightmare for me I believe and I think it provoked the OCD.

Whether or not I am on the spectrum diagnostically, depends who you ask. I have a friend whose son is diagnosed Asperger and she thinks I have it but that I have learned around it. My best friend, the only "real" friend I had in high school is I believe definitely on the spectrum, diagnosable. It's a wonder she hasn't been diagnosed. We can talk for hours on the phone and not get tired. We have a lot in common. I feel the most safe with her, the most understood. I don't have to explain myself to her. But I am not nearly as "symptomatic" as she is. Another friend in another state also has a son on the spectrum. She hasn't said anything to me but with her I was still acting when I was around her and had bad meltdowns afterwards because of it. I can only maintain one friend at a time really. I get better socially when my husband is away for his job. When he is home, it's like I spend my social "spoons" on him. My husband thinks I am all ASD but I don't think so. I am one who has obsessed over this for the last two years and I know a lot more about it than he does. I have trouble maintaining my house, trouble with remembering to shower, I frequently forget to eat and have trouble eating anyway. It wears me out. Sensory thing I guess. I have trouble making the decision to go to bed and have trouble going to sleep. I have a funky EEG to the point that one neurologist thought I had epilepsy. I am wheat and dairy sensitive. I have bad depression from so many years of social pain and shyness and mutism and OCD and pure O. I can socialize really well in the right environment and with people I know and I revel in it when I do go out. People say they can tell when I am happy but am hard to read otherwise, not as expressive as I think I am I guess. Compared to level 1 AS boys, I pale in comparison. Compared to many NT girls my age, I am behind though the gap is finally getting smaller. Most of the people I do make good friends with are a decade or more older than me and very spectrummy themselves and/or their kids have ended up being on the spectrum. Sometimes I have a "social hangover", other times not and that weirds me out. My therapist thinks I have features. Personally I believe I am more than just features because I am with myself all the time and I know things about myself no one else does. I have stims only my kids see if they happen to be paying attention. But my own opinion doesn't carry as much weight or hold as much water as others' opinions and I recognize that.

It's like I am ASD and like I am not. I am not NT enough to feel really connected to other NTs but not ASD enough to feel like I belong here on WP either. I feel like an imposter. It's like being bilingual or inter-cultural and not being fully part of either one. My experiences are different from most NT's experiences, but I can interact with them. Especially after watching my husband for many years too and trying to keep up with him and knowing I need to model social things for my kids. I picture two umbrellas: one NT and one ASD and I am like between them with one part under the ASD and one part under the NT. It's like I have ASD neurology with a bit less of the social hit. I hope that isn't offensive.

Anyway, bottom line is, to say I do have ASD straight up, makes me uncomfortable because it's like over-stretching the diagnostic spectrum to where it can lose its seriousness for those who have difficulties that require financial aid or self-care assistance.

Oops. Wall of text. :oops:



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17 Apr 2015, 8:29 pm

I used many characters of Sixties sitcoms as "social models."

I agree: Columbo IS a good guy. He's considered "eccentric," though. He even has some Spectrum characteristics--the prominent being his inability to judge people's "space" when he talks to them.



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18 Apr 2015, 6:19 am

I did have them but I never really used them, just any character really. No one in particular.

As an aspie with interest in acting though I did learn a lot and it has helped me.



Bomir
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21 Apr 2015, 3:07 pm

A LOT of my attitudes and sayings when I was younger were based on Jack Burton from Big Trouble in Little China.



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21 Apr 2015, 5:59 pm

QuiversWhiskers wrote:
I think when I was a kid I wanted to be Deanna Troi


Awesome.

I used to "put on plays" when I was a kid, based on copying Star Trek characters, usually Tasha Yar. The quotes are because usually plays are usually performed in front of people, and I NEVER let anyone see my plays. I spent hours in the basement doing this. I was training myself, I understand now. I needed to understand how to be in the world. I was very depressed. There was no help for aspies in those days. I was in special ed, but all they did was drill spelling and cleaning my notebook. Putting myself in the metaphorical shoes of those characters saved my life. I love them like family.

Sometimes I did characters from Battlestar Galactica. (Old version) or Little House on the Prairie. I cut my hair like Tasha and favored a turtle neck that was same color as the goldenrod color of her uniform. I started "playing by the rules" in school as a tribute to her when the killed her off. When I got older, I broadened out to the other Star Treks, too. (And they say my interests are narrow. Ha!) There's a documentary on Star Trek fans where a woman, who would clearly get along at WrongPlanet just fine, decides to start wearing a Star Trek uniform in her daily life, including to work. She started as a Lieutenant, but gave herself a promotion to commander the last I heard. I'm a little jealous at her gumption.

Today, if I had a chance to "be" a character in real life, I would go with a Jedi Knight. I like the hood. But that's off topic.

Bless me! I must have been one adorable little social misfit. I wish someone had gotten that about me. But to me fair, I never let others see my rich inner world, so I can't really blame them for not noticing.



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21 Apr 2015, 6:06 pm

QuiversWhiskers wrote:
dryope wrote:
Your reply is interesting, but on a different subject: you, as an NT with possible aspie traits, have done this throughout your life, to varying degrees, but maybe not in the way I was wondering about (rewatching videos hundereds of times to match voice tone, body language, etc.).


I have done this, though not hundreds of times. I'd sometimes use quotes and lines to answer other people when they'd talk to me. I was using the people I was "stuck" on as a sort of template for myself but perhaps with more fluidity and flexibility than you might be looking for; it wasn't nearly as rigid of copying as you might be getting at. Sometimes it's easier for me to talk when I have been talking too long or reading out loud to my kids by slipping into a light Irish or Scottish accent; I don't do it in public because I don't want to attract attention, appear to be putting on airs, or be perceived as having some weird alternate personality. Using a different accent uses different muscles in my face and mouth and throat when those other "American" accent muscles get tired or start to clench up. It's also fun and makes it less boring. I used to think I got such muscle tiredness from talking because I didn't talk enough, but I don't think so anymore. I think it's just a thing I have. One time I was alone and decided to try that thing where people pretend they are talking to someone else just to talk about their problems when they don't anyone to talk to. Felt stupid at first but I felt a lot better afterwards. I noticed that after a while it was easier for me to process the words and thoughts taking on the accent and inflection of a character on Call the Midwife. She has a soft Irish voice. So, in my head it was as if she was saying the words and I was just repeating them. Most relaxing thing even if it sounds totally weird.

For many years like in high school and beyond, when I'd interact with people I had a running scene or script in my head of another person I had seen in a similar situation and I'd be "copying" them though the mannerisms and facial expressions felt stupid and awkward. I was always afraid someone would figure out what I was doing, copying like this. It made me feel like a fake person, like I was a liar. In the last couple of years I have developed a really good and quick sense of humor and can pull off simple social interactions fluidly and spontaneously and come up with my own stuff to say and do. I've kind of made my own personality from all the bits and pieces from others. Ever heard of "fake it til you make it"? As long as I am not in a large group of noisy people or as long as I am not having any sort of emotional or sensory distraction I can do very, very well.

dryope wrote:
Do you think you are in the Broader Autism Phenotype category? I think a lot of awesome people are, so it's good company to be in, if so.


Yes, very likely BAP range, but a little more on the ASD side of the BAP. I say that because I fit more into the "subclinical" area in terms of my history and I truly to believe that my symptoms are minimized because I have so much "down" time to be in my own little world as my husband works and I stay home with kids. I have all kinds of control over my environment and exposure and have very little real social interaction, like a few hours at church and very occasional meetings with people outside of church. When I do go out for things, I am not usually already in a very overloaded state. If I was out having to work, I would be having more social problems. My social antennae seems to have a short in it. Now I cut myself slack knowing these ASD tendencies I have so I don't act as much anymore. I cut myself a lot of slack and I let myself move and fidget and stim and be silly sometimes in public so I don't "get frozen" or have angry or crying fits/breakdowns later. I don't make myself make eye contact. When I read about the BAP it makes a person sound aloof, non-interactive, stoic, etc and that is not me. I am actually extroverted in that I do get a lot of energy being with other people and I like people a lot but I wear out very quickly. I get depressed when I haven't seen friends or acquaintances for more than two or three days. I have more features than what BAP implies. I have hyperactive episodes every day. I have anxiety. I have meltdowns and mild shutdowns. The last big meltdown was a few weeks ago. It came out of no where and my brain was just half-dead for days afterward. I had some pretty bad social anxiety. I had selective mutism (worse when I was a kid and in college, rare now). I have had episodes of severe OCD and had fairly constant pure O for years until the last few years that pure O has gotten sporadic. I space out. I get stuck doing things in that I can do one thing over and over again for hours and not be able to break myself out of it. I am forgetful. I sometimes do things out of order. I can't seem to get anything done unless I am obsessed with it or have a lot of anxiety over it. As a kid, I think I was more ADHD/OCD/socially awkward. In fourth or fifth grade, I became aware of things negative about myself and other kids' reactions to me in school. I didn't get any very ASD-ish obsessions and overt social difficulties til seventh/eighth grade. I was excluded in school. Then I developed severe contamination OCD like I had had in kindergarten only with a different disease/condition on top of the horrible pure O. I don't want to go into it all but going to public school I felt like I was foreign, that I didn't known the other kids' language. The first thing I did was to not tuck in my shirt anymore. I felt naked and exposed and almost like I was sinning. I thought it was sloppy and disrespectful not to tuck in my shirt even though I knew no one else who tucked in their shirts. That wasn't the style. It's like I got left behind even though I felt a lot more mature than the other kids, I was actually on a very different trajectory, socially. I was always very, very sensitive to tone of voice. I can read body language now and can recognize sarcasm usually. I think now I fall into the "active, but odd mostly with success" now. I never had pedantic speech. I didn't talk in monologues. I had no developmental delays and actually walked early. My learning profile is a lot like NVLD and NVLD is very much like ASD with less obsessional stuff and less routine-insistence. However, I am both visual AND auditory learner. I am not completely blind to body language. I wear out listening to speech and processing it. I had bad coordination as I got older to the point where I withdrew from physical activity due to being spoken too hatefully by other kids for stepping on their foot or bumping them too hard. I couldn't run with a ball and tell where I was or was going. I am not literal to the point of not getting implied or expected meanings. In other words, I can easily pick up on hints if I am relaxed and paying attention and not in my own world and I now revel in non-literal language. I don't know if I stimmed when I was little. I know I was doing it by fourth grade. I have pictures of me doing stuff. I fall into the social-pragmatic language disorder thing I think though I have learned a lot. I have a lot in common with that pathological demand avoidance thing that people argue about being on the spectrum, but without the developmental delay. I was 4 when my pure O started. Kindergarten when it became OCD and my teacher would tell my mom I'd cry in school. Kindergarten was a sensory nightmare for me I believe and I think it provoked the OCD.

Whether or not I am on the spectrum diagnostically, depends who you ask. I have a friend whose son is diagnosed Asperger and she thinks I have it but that I have learned around it. My best friend, the only "real" friend I had in high school is I believe definitely on the spectrum, diagnosable. It's a wonder she hasn't been diagnosed. We can talk for hours on the phone and not get tired. We have a lot in common. I feel the most safe with her, the most understood. I don't have to explain myself to her. But I am not nearly as "symptomatic" as she is. Another friend in another state also has a son on the spectrum. She hasn't said anything to me but with her I was still acting when I was around her and had bad meltdowns afterwards because of it. I can only maintain one friend at a time really. I get better socially when my husband is away for his job. When he is home, it's like I spend my social "spoons" on him. My husband thinks I am all ASD but I don't think so. I am one who has obsessed over this for the last two years and I know a lot more about it than he does. I have trouble maintaining my house, trouble with remembering to shower, I frequently forget to eat and have trouble eating anyway. It wears me out. Sensory thing I guess. I have trouble making the decision to go to bed and have trouble going to sleep. I have a funky EEG to the point that one neurologist thought I had epilepsy. I am wheat and dairy sensitive. I have bad depression from so many years of social pain and shyness and mutism and OCD and pure O. I can socialize really well in the right environment and with people I know and I revel in it when I do go out. People say they can tell when I am happy but am hard to read otherwise, not as expressive as I think I am I guess. Compared to level 1 AS boys, I pale in comparison. Compared to many NT girls my age, I am behind though the gap is finally getting smaller. Most of the people I do make good friends with are a decade or more older than me and very spectrummy themselves and/or their kids have ended up being on the spectrum. Sometimes I have a "social hangover", other times not and that weirds me out. My therapist thinks I have features. Personally I believe I am more than just features because I am with myself all the time and I know things about myself no one else does. I have stims only my kids see if they happen to be paying attention. But my own opinion doesn't carry as much weight or hold as much water as others' opinions and I recognize that.

It's like I am ASD and like I am not. I am not NT enough to feel really connected to other NTs but not ASD enough to feel like I belong here on WP either. I feel like an imposter. It's like being bilingual or inter-cultural and not being fully part of either one. My experiences are different from most NT's experiences, but I can interact with them. Especially after watching my husband for many years too and trying to keep up with him and knowing I need to model social things for my kids. I picture two umbrellas: one NT and one ASD and I am like between them with one part under the ASD and one part under the NT. It's like I have ASD neurology with a bit less of the social hit. I hope that isn't offensive.

Anyway, bottom line is, to say I do have ASD straight up, makes me uncomfortable because it's like over-stretching the diagnostic spectrum to where it can lose its seriousness for those who have difficulties that require financial aid or self-care assistance.

Oops. Wall of text. :oops:


Don't mean to derail this thread, but if your finances allow, it sounds like you might find a diagnosis useful. You might find that you are on the spectrum, or that you have a related disorder, like non-verbal learning disability. This might help if you end up having kids, and it might help with employment. Clearly, there is a lot of "charge" for you here. That's one hella long post. (meant kindly!)



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21 Apr 2015, 6:19 pm

dryope wrote:

Does anyone still find it useful? I'm trying hard to be myself, though, so I avoid modeling now (except for learning languages). But I really enjoyed "being" Columbo. ;)


Consider the archetype theory of psychology. Clarrisa Pinkola Estes is my favorite author on this topic, but she mostly writes about women. Joseph Cambel has some stuff that applies to personal development. Carl Jung is the grandfather of this line of thought.

From this point of view, you ARE Columbo. Columbo isn't a real person. He's an idea. He's a way of being in the world. (That's what we mean when we say "archetype.") So you can have this archetype within you. A part of you is Columbo, metaphorically speaking. You also have other archetypes within you. You can pull them out and use them at will. This IS being yourself. It's just being you in a way that is more controlled and conscious.

Star Trek is what speaks to me. So when I need to interact with an institution like high school, I can "be" Tasha Yar. When I have to take charge in an informal situation, Major Kira is the right archetype. When I am in charge in an official capacity, I can "be" Captain Janeway. When I need wisdom, I can "be" a Jedi knight. They are all part of me. They are all authentic. They are all learned from watching TV. I don't think its the same as regular TV watching. I connected with a part of my natural self, by deliberately taking on the superficial characteristics of a TV character. But they are still authentically me. They still point to things that are from inside of me.



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21 Apr 2015, 8:31 pm

For as long as I can remember, I would try to emulate Bill Murray as Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters. To me, that was always the ideal charmer archetype, and in retrospect, it was also maybe the furthest thing from my actual personality. (I'm an Egon, at *best*.) :?

This practice may very well work for others, but in my case, I wonder if the lines between emulation and outright self-deception became blurred. When I failed to live up to the ideal that I had built up in my head, I felt like I was a failure. When I succeeded, I felt like a fraud. It was a no-win scenario that left me with some hefty identity issues. Of course I still slip into a character sometimes, I especially relate to what someone said about Jedi wisdom, but I try not to stay there anymore.



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22 Apr 2015, 4:40 am

Neon Noir wrote:
This practice may very well work for others, but in my case, I wonder if the lines between emulation and outright self-deception became blurred. When I failed to live up to the ideal that I had built up in my head, I felt like I was a failure. When I succeeded, I felt like a fraud. It was a no-win scenario that left me with some hefty identity issues. Of course I still slip into a character sometimes, I especially relate to what someone said about Jedi wisdom, but I try not to stay there anymore.


This is what I concluded, too. :(

Sorry. Feeling a little nonverbal today. Thank you for the interesting responses. Personally, I think you all have excellent taste. :)


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22 Apr 2015, 1:59 pm

I used to model myself after Dr. Temperance Brennan because I think she has Asperger's.



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23 Apr 2015, 5:38 pm

Neon Noir wrote:
This practice may very well work for others, but in my case, I wonder if the lines between emulation and outright self-deception became blurred. When I failed to live up to the ideal that I had built up in my head, I felt like I was a failure. When I succeeded, I felt like a fraud. It was a no-win scenario that left me with some hefty identity issues. Of course I still slip into a character sometimes, I especially relate to what someone said about Jedi wisdom, but I try not to stay there anymore.


So, so true. I felt like a liar and a faker when I was in high school and college and I think others probably felt the same way about me. Probably why in college so many people seemed to avoid me. Now I understand that it really was a coping/masking thing for a problem that was very real. I feel better about it now that I understand it more.



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23 Apr 2015, 5:42 pm

tagnacious wrote:
QuiversWhiskers wrote:
I think when I was a kid I wanted to be Deanna Troi


Awesome.

I used to "put on plays" when I was a kid, based on copying Star Trek characters, usually Tasha Yar. The quotes are because usually plays are usually performed in front of people, and I NEVER let anyone see my plays. I spent hours in the basement doing this. I was training myself, I understand now. I needed to understand how to be in the world. I was very depressed. There was no help for aspies in those days. I was in special ed, but all they did was drill spelling and cleaning my notebook. Putting myself in the metaphorical shoes of those characters saved my life. I love them like family.

Sometimes I did characters from Battlestar Galactica. (Old version) or Little House on the Prairie. I cut my hair like Tasha and favored a turtle neck that was same color as the goldenrod color of her uniform. I started "playing by the rules" in school as a tribute to her when the killed her off. When I got older, I broadened out to the other Star Treks, too. (And they say my interests are narrow. Ha!) There's a documentary on Star Trek fans where a woman, who would clearly get along at WrongPlanet just fine, decides to start wearing a Star Trek uniform in her daily life, including to work. She started as a Lieutenant, but gave herself a promotion to commander the last I heard. I'm a little jealous at her gumption.

Today, if I had a chance to "be" a character in real life, I would go with a Jedi Knight. I like the hood. But that's off topic.

Bless me! I must have been one adorable little social misfit. I wish someone had gotten that about me. But to me fair, I never let others see my rich inner world, so I can't really blame them for not noticing.


I know that lady! I think it was on some documentary I watched about Trekkers and Trekkies. I was sort of jealous of her in a good way. I wish I had that kind of nerve :D