Which social rules do you find don't make sense?

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ZachGoodwin
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18 Jun 2017, 2:50 pm

"There is no stupid question."

There are stupid questions, and if those stupid questions are asked enough they can be annoying. Ask a stupid question with the wrong person and you may have a fight.



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18 Jun 2017, 3:14 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Here are a few others that make no sense to me:
1. When getting together with a group of friends, and they arrive at an event an hour or more early, they can go out to out to eat or do other things without inviting you.
2. People who invite and expect you to attend their things and get them gifts but when you invite them back, they have no time for your things.
4. Dishonesty about why they aren't interested in you. Examples- "I would love to hang out but I often have health problems" or they make excuses like "I am sorry but I work most of the time and I have two kids to take care of. I will call you in a few days" Yet you see them all over social media making time for everyone else.

What makes you think they're lying about what you're interested in? They are probably telling the truth why that can't come. But I'm gullible and believe things easily.



Summer_Twilight
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18 Jun 2017, 9:26 pm

These are people who lose their interest in you and seem to ignore your phone calls and emails unless you confront.



shortfatbalduglyman
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18 Jun 2017, 9:59 pm

These are people who lose their interest in you and seem to ignore your phone calls and emails unless you confront.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

that makes sense to me.

they are different from me in that they are neurotypical and cisgender. while i am autistic and trans.

big deal.

and there are plenty of precious lil "people" just like them, in that they are also neurotypical and cisgender.

in the past, there have been precious lil "people" that ignored my phone calls and e-mails.

likewise, precious lil "people" phone called and e-mailed me, and i ignored them. big deal. b/c i was too cowardly to tell them off. but i don not feel like i should've had to.

there is no law that says they have to answer every phone call and e-mail.

sometimes, not answering is better than some alternatives.



Summer_Twilight
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19 Jun 2017, 7:29 am

ZachGoodwin wrote:
"There is no stupid question."

There are stupid questions, and if those stupid questions are asked enough they can be annoying. Ask a stupid question with the wrong person and you may have a fight.


People who seem to look at people with AS like we are broken ask us some really dumb questions
I was at an autism conference at the beginning of May and one of the ladies there asked me if I remembered her in a very slow voice. "Do you remember me?" as if I could not speak English.

Other dumb questions just because I am different
"Where do your parents live?
"Who helps you clean your house?
"Do you take special transportation?"
One that I heard when I was 13 by a friend of a neighbor, "Do you go to a special school?"
A doctor who was doing a 45-minute doctor's evaluation for vocational rehab interrupted me by asking "Is your father alive" right when I was talking to him.
Another time I was talking to the director of an organization who gives out scholarships since I had been laid off in order to pay for my education. When I approached her, I explained that I had gotten laid off. Rather than saying she was sorry or had any other ideas lined up, I got "Were you working at a sheltered workshop?" :oops: :x
"What qualifies you to ride mobility transit?"



wiztrader
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19 Jun 2017, 7:48 am

Joe90 wrote:
Why it "looks silly" to wear shorts when it's raining but is still hot (like 30 degrees C).

Why women get ridiculed horrifically if we have unshaved legs in the summer.

Men mostly sweat more but it's still socially acceptable for them to choose to have hairy armpits, even though sweaty armpits is disgusted by most NTs.

How something that has always looked really ridiculous suddenly becomes the fashion and it's now OK to wear it all of a sudden.


I would have to agree with you there. I have never understood fashion/grooming trends and why people feel the need to keep up with them.



aikoinazuma
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22 Jun 2017, 12:06 pm

I'm not sure if this qualifies as a social rule issue or not but I find that a lot of people think that fast people are rude. They move slow in the aisle and they seem to get mentally ruffled when I go by them. I'll admit, I walk fast and move fast. Where I live (SD) people move slower and think slower. But seriously, I didn't push you or cut you off, I just went around you. Are people's feelings really hurt by me trying to get my errands done within a reasonable amount of time?

Someone else here mentioned that some people think they are entitled to respect and to be listened to because of age/job/personal history/etc. That is annoying too. Who died and made these people experts on everything? I find unsolicited advice to be condescending especially if it comes from someone I consider an idiot.


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ZachGoodwin
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22 Jun 2017, 5:07 pm

Being interesting means talking a lot.

No, it's actually the opposite; The less you talk the more interesting you are.



shortfatbalduglyman
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22 Jun 2017, 9:50 pm

I'm not sure if this qualifies as a social rule issue or not but I find that a lot of people think that fast people are rude. They move slow in the aisle and they seem to get mentally ruffled when I go by them. I'll admit, I walk fast and move fast. Where I live (SD) people move slower and think slower. But seriously, I didn't push you or cut you off, I just went around you. Are people's feelings really hurt by me trying to get my errands done within a reasonable amount of time?

Someone else here mentioned that some people think they are entitled to respect and to be listened to because of age/job/personal history/etc. That is annoying too. Who died and made these people experts on everything? I find unsolicited advice to be condescending especially if it comes from someone I consider an idiot.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

someone had the nerve to tell me that it was rude to make someone wait. and the speaker was referring to couple seconds. (*gasp. the horror*).

a former precious lil "friend" was with another friend. they were walking and i walked slower. the (former) precious lil "friend" had the nerve to try to hurry me up.

it's "rude" to walk and move quickly? those precious lil "people" had the nerve to treat me like it was rude to move and walk slowly.



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23 Jun 2017, 8:26 am

aikoinazuma wrote:
I'm not sure if this qualifies as a social rule issue or not but I find that a lot of people think that fast people are rude. They move slow in the aisle and they seem to get mentally ruffled when I go by them. I'll admit, I walk fast and move fast. Where I live (SD) people move slower and think slower. But seriously, I didn't push you or cut you off, I just went around you. Are people's feelings really hurt by me trying to get my errands done within a reasonable amount of time?

I wholeheartedly agree. I really hate it when I'm dating a short girl and she walks at something like one mile per hour.


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seaweed
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23 Jun 2017, 12:38 pm

^^short people like me who walk fast tend to look like
Image

yes apparently it's also rude to walk around (or through) groups people in whatever way possible. but i think it's much more rude to take up the entire sidewalk/not pay attention to surroundings and people who are trying to walk faster.
"excuse you", "wooowww", "chill out", "look at speedy gonzales go", "someone's in a rush"...
someone's an as*hole with no spatial consideration. at least leave a small path for other people to exist. i mean i wouldn't be ducking through a massive group of bros on a stroll if there was at least a small space for me to walk elsewhere. and like hell im going to slow down to 1mph so as to not disturb the as*holes (?!)



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23 Jun 2017, 5:56 pm

That dog is adorable!


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24 Jun 2017, 7:16 am

I don't understand why it's socially unacceptable to put your hands over your ears when loud motorcycles roar by or you are surrounded by noisy brats. I mean, putting your hands over your ears ain't a threat or anything, and I'm sure these noises hurt NTs ears sometimes as well, so I don't know why it can't be socially acceptable.


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paintmepink
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24 Jun 2017, 9:13 am

Horse play and patting each other on the back, touching each other in a non sexual way.



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24 Jun 2017, 4:59 pm

Anything about:
-Heirarchy expectations of 'showing' signs of respect (in that possibly anyone of 'lower status' had no right to be human before those who are 'above' them :x or vice versa).
-Etiquettes that doesn't make any jobs easier (that does not give a 'signal' or a 'message' other than 'proper' or 'improper'),
-And certain actions that are mandatory or restricted to the point that it is as absurd as any superstition (very much so when no one else is or would be present, or affected by the action or lack of thereof)…

How many unwritten social rules fits any of these three? :|


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RetroGamer87
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24 Jun 2017, 8:12 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
Anything about:
-Heirarchy expectations of 'showing' signs of respect (in that possibly anyone of 'lower status' had no right to be human before those who are 'above' them :x or vice versa).
-Etiquettes that doesn't make any jobs easier (that does not give a 'signal' or a 'message' other than 'proper' or 'improper'),
Wow, things seem so hierarchical in Asia. Do subordinates really get treated that badly?


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